“Bridal Under-Achiever” Is My Middle Name!

“Bridal Under-Achiever” Is My Middle Name!

January 4th, 2011 @ 12:50 pm by Mrs. Prairie Dog
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So there is this girl I know. Kind of a friend-of-a-friend type who I see once in a while—a perfectly nice girl who is getting married a month before I am. But realistically, in her mind, she is getting married tomorrow. And, at the rate I’m going, I’m probably getting married never.

This weekend, she was all…”So, where are you guys registered?”

“Um,” I said, glancing sidelong at PDog. “Nowhere. We hadn’t even thought about it yet.”

Guys. She laughed like I was joking. When she realized *I* wasn’t laughing, she slowed her roll.

“Oh,” she said, recovering. “I guess I’m just type-A about planning.”

And then she proceeded to list about 100 things that I have not done yet. I swear, I broke into a cold sweat as she spoke. It was like the Knot’s evil list of a bajillion tasks that scolds you every time you log in took on HUMAN FORM.

I have not even THOUGHT about concrete honeymoon plans. (They’re going to Cancun, and I hope they have a lovely, overplanned time. BITTER.) My invitations are not done. I still haven’t decided on DJ or iPod. I don’t have decor done at all; I have not finalized our readings or our ceremony music or hair and makeup or…[pause for hyperventilation]

I thought we were doing OK. Plugging along. Takin’ care of business. Now I feel like we are lost at sea, and this girl is the captain of a yacht, laughing as she speeds on by.

Please tell me that you have had OMG-what-have-we-been-doing?! moments. And that they pass. (They do pass, right?!)

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33 Responses to ““Bridal Under-Achiever” Is My Middle Name!”

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Member

CorgiTales (message) 9,861 posts, Bee Keeper

Lol I’m getting married in less than 2 months and I took care of a lot of those things last week when I had time off work. You’ll get it done. And if you don’t? You’ll still end up married. Don’t sweat it.

1/4/11 @ 12:55 pm (reply)

Member

franks.katie (message) 335 posts, Helper bee

Oh yeah - that’s me!

I thought we had a bunch done, and the rest of it I would get done “next year”… well, it’s “next year” and I’m freaking out about all the money we have to come up with in the next few months, as well as all the little tasks that don’t seem so little.

But, as overwhelming as it feels, don’t worry, you’ll get it all done. Somehow all weddings have a way of doing that. And if there are some details that aren’t done, oh well! No one will miss what they don’t know about

1/4/11 @ 12:56 pm (reply)

Member

jo.lee (message) 5,820 posts, Bee Keeper

I had one of those moments recently. Our venue has this accessories coordinator lady, and when we went to meet with her, she gave us this huge list and asked us what we had done already, which was basically book the venue and find my dress. I felt like I was in the principal’s office :P.

1/4/11 @ 12:57 pm (reply)

Guest

AggieWife

They definitely pass! And, after checking out your wedding date, I totally don’t think you need to freak out at all. You have plenty of time!

Also, I didnt register until late January/mid February for our May 2010 wedding (specifically for the reason that I hoped the product availability would change less after Christmas festivities were finished). IMO as long as you’re registered about a month before your first shower, you’re gravy!

1/4/11 @ 1:01 pm (reply)

Member

Miss.White Mocha (message) 21 posts, Newbee

Oh yeah definitely did. My cousin was planning a 5/2012 wedding and she was on top of it, literally every major vendor booked. And here I am planning for 8/2011 and I have yet to hit up a caterer or DJ or florist (if I even use one). I’m definitely floating through this process right now. But it’ll all get done, right…

1/4/11 @ 1:07 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Octopus (message) 1,446 posts, Bumble bee

This is how I felt whenever I read blogs of the decor-and-DIY-adept or the “month twin” threads on the WB boards.

Them: Bathroom baskets, programs! Mr. and Mrs. signs for our chairs! Cake topper, escort card display, “scenes” or “vignettes” or whatever for various tables, etc. etc.

Me: *icy fear*

What I often told myself was, this wedding is happening whether all this stuff gets done or not. It will get done or it won’t, (spoiler alert: almost all of it ended up in the “won’t get done” pile) but the wedding’s happening regardless, so might as well just forge ahead and do what can be done and readily let go of what can’t.

1/4/11 @ 1:07 pm (reply)

Member

asdf (message) 256 posts, Helper bee

Our wedding is March 5th, and I still have to do the majority of the things you mentioned. We did book our honeymoon early, but we just registered right before Christmas. My invitations are supposed to be in next week, and then I have to turn them around ASAP. I really haven’t been stressed at all the past 10 months, but I’m starting to freak out. My latest stress management tactic is to include even the most trivial tasks in my Google tasks, so when I check them off I feel accomplished.

1/4/11 @ 1:15 pm (reply)

Member

glamfish500 (message) 262 posts, Helper bee

We haven’t even been engaged a month and I already feel freaked out. I had to quit reading those timelines everyone gives you. We haven’t even set a date yet, just a window, and no matter what we pick in that window we were a minimum of one month behind when we got engaged… It’s so stupid. We live in smaller town and yes, people get married here every weekend, but I’m not worried about not finding a venue or a church a year in advance, most places here won’t even book over a year in advance. We’re just making our own timeline and ignoring everyone eles’s advice.

1/4/11 @ 1:16 pm (reply)

Member

smiles1979 (message) 571 posts, Busy bee

You’re not alone.

I feel the same way as you do Miss PD.
Funny post though - cute w. the talking checklist. haha.

There are always going to be the more ‘Type A’ people out there….

I like CorgiTales advice - no matter what you get done or don’t - you’re still going to get married.

I have to heed her advice myself a little more b/c lately I’ve been freaking out too. My date is April 30th and I have SO much to do…

At the beginning of my planning, which was Nov. ‘09…I went WAY overboard with trying to figure things out…that I burnt myself out.
Try to take things a little more on your own timeline…and try to figure out what’s most important.

I’m realizing all the little things I loved about the wedding world are just not going to happen for me and I have to focus on the bigger elements.

Good luck and deep breaths!
(hugs!)

1/4/11 @ 1:28 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Lox (message) 1,128 posts, Bumble bee

I started freaking out about 2 weeks ago. You and I are on a similar timeframe though, so I have no sage advice to offer. Just sympathy!

1/4/11 @ 1:28 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Jam (message) 309 posts, Helper bee

HA! We were dragging our feet so much, my parents stepped in for a wedding intervention. Talk about awkward. You’re so not alone : )

1/4/11 @ 1:57 pm (reply)

12.

Member

MsJeep23 (message) 1,375 posts, Bumble bee

Oh and I was so worried this was just me! Don’t stress, PD. Octo’s advice is very wise.
And look at it this way, Ms. Overplanning will have a lovely wedding I’m sure, but with the pursuit of absolute perfection comes a greater likelihood of disappointment if/when something goes awry–even if it’s small.

1/4/11 @ 1:59 pm (reply)

13.

Member

Ms. Sparkles (message) 693 posts, Busy bee

I’m in the same boat as you, we have not done our invitations, finalized the decorations, flowers, food, or the honeymoon! I think we have time though. Hopefully!

1/4/11 @ 2:27 pm (reply)

14.

Member

smallwonder (message) 64 posts, Worker bee

It all just depends on what kind of wedding you want to have and how much time you want to spend planning it. I had fun registering (last weekend) because I love hosting and throwing parties so I got excited about picking dishes. I spent way more time doing that than I did looking at dresses, because I just didn’t care that much. I love mine, and it looks beautiful, but I went to ONE store. Every has a different plan for their wedding and you shouldn’t feel bad that you aren’t on her plan…you’re on your’s!

1/4/11 @ 2:46 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Ms Seahorse (message) 156 posts, Blushing bee

You have so much time! The only thing I regret was not getting started earlier on the things that I *knew* mattered (ie our Ketubah); in the end, all of those things DID get done, and they were wonderful, it just meant a somewhat stressful time in the week before the wedding. I think we planned our honeymoon a month before our wedding day? Even then, it was vague; we knew where we were sleeping each night, but not what we were doing during the day, and that was perfect for us. We got to do what we felt like when we had the time. Do it all the way you want to, and you’ll be happy with it in the end. Good luck!

(Also, have I mentioned I love your posts? I love your posts.)

1/4/11 @ 2:54 pm (reply)

16.

Member

blondeeebuckeye (message) 1,083 posts, Bumble bee

um, i did nothing until like the 4 1/2 month mark other than buy my dress and book the vendors. i’m an under-achiever too!

1/4/11 @ 3:06 pm (reply)

17.

Member

tinybride_tallgroom (message) 24 posts, Newbee

Um I love this post, it makes me feel so much better!! I am getting married March 12th and still have a TON to do. It’s so nice to hear from y’all - it WILL get done. I keep having stress dreams - the worst one was where my dress had been stolen on the wedding day and no one thought that was a problem but ME. They kept being like - oh just wear something else. I woke up in a cold sweat.

Good luck everyone!!

1/4/11 @ 3:20 pm (reply)

18.

Member

KayMeiBee (message) 156 posts, Blushing bee

So… I’m that awful to do list friend. I am getting married the month after a friend of mine and she keeps asking what all I’ve gotten accomplished, so I tell her. Then I immediately feel bad because she has done none of it. It’s not really my fault though, I was engaged at the beginning of the summer and we picked a popular date (9.10.11) so lots of vendors are booking up fast. She, on the other hand, got engaged at the end of the summer AND is in law school (YIKES!).

But even with my “over-planner-itis,” I still get those moments of sheer panic. I promise they pass!

1/4/11 @ 3:37 pm (reply)

19.

Member

JillBill (message) 425 posts, Helper bee

once I recoved from my champagne stupor and realized 2011 was upon us, it finally clicked that I wasn’t getting married “August 2011″ or “next August”… instead, it was THIS august. And then I pooped my pants.

Thankfully, no one in my two or three closest networks of friends are getting married, so I can fly on the under-achiever radar undetected for a bit of time

1/4/11 @ 3:43 pm (reply)

20.

Member

Megrit (message) 478 posts, Helper bee

I keep telling myself as long as we have the hall and church booked we are ok. But then I realize that we’re going to have to do other things, like buy a wedding dress and take all the classes our church requires. I start to think about that and I get light-headed.

1/4/11 @ 4:19 pm (reply)

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