Weddingbee Blog

Time to talk a bit more about dressing Cinnamon Buns. He was fairly sure that he wanted a black suit. He figured that black is easy to wear, looks fancy but not as fancy as a tuxedo, and goes with everything. Not to mention that we have to wear all black for work, so if he ever felt like being fancy on an Opening Night, he could wear it. I was a-OK with this decision. I thought black would make our choice of coloured shirts pop, and everyone would just look really, really sharp.

Then Cinnamum phoned, and she asked how the planning was going. I told her we’d decided that the menfolk would be wearing black suits. There was silence. Then it came: “Won’t it look like a funeral? Or like they’re waiters?” I could not convince her that black was acceptable in a suit. I pointed out that tuxedos are black, and I think they make men look like penguins. That was different, because they’re tuxedos. The phone call didn’t end on a good note, because we were both being obstinate about it. I watched this video on YouTube to make myself feel better (note the black suit NPH is wearing!).

Later I got an email from her with a quote she’d found somewhere on the internet:

Black is usually seen in formal wear, rather than suits. When it is seen in suits, it is often associated with musicians, hotel staff, waiters, and young club-goers. The “classically-styled gentleman” will opt for a more versatile charcoal, or a dark navy, when selecting a dark suit. Also: always wool, no polyester allowed.

Cinnamum suggested navy (reminds me of the boy’s uniforms in school) or charcoal so dark it might be black. At that point though…why not go black? If the suit is shiny, it might look more club-y than we want, so we won’t pick a shiny one. And yes, we were going to go for wool.

I decided that the way to settle this was to ask my friend J, who works in the theatre as a dresser and sometimes a costume designer. Apart from those professional qualifications, I love her sense of style (I want her whole wardrobe) and trust her not to say what I want to hear. If she told me that yes, a black suit was a faux pas, I’d believe her. I asked, and her response was that in the past, yes, black suits were more for waiters and funerals, so she wasn’t surprised someone of my mum’s generation would say that. She also said that fashions change, and she doesn’t see it as an issue now, and wouldn’t bat an eye at a groom in a black suit. She had a fun little tidbit as well—the morning dress that some grooms get married in? The dark tailcoat paired with grey pinstripe pants?

(Not a wedding, but these men probably get way more use out of their morning dress than any others in the world! Source)

That used to be “casual wear” that one did not wear to occasions. A member of the Royal family started doing it in the early 1900s I believe, and it caught on a took off as a formal ‘look’. Black suits have changed in the same way. I felt better about my choice after talking to J, and mum and I made up the next time she phoned. She still isn’t in to the black suit idea (tried to talk us out of it again at Christmas) but she isn’t going to cry if Cinnamon Buns wears a black suit.