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So…the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner…
You should know that I really didn’t expect it to be that complicated. I’d never been to a wedding where there were invitations to the rehearsal dinner—probably because I’d never been in a wedding before. I guess I just expected 1) that everyone who was invited would KNOW they were invited. (We did spread it around via word of mouth that all our out of town guests were welcome to attend. Some, apparently, didn’t get the word.) Oops? 2) that people know that the attire to rehearsal dinners, even ones that are held in church basements, have semi-formal dress code. The Bunny bridesmaids and my family managed to get the message.
(I was bossy as I told people where to stand, I guess.)
But apparently our groomsmen were unaware of this tradition.
Hrm. Either I was WAY off base in my guess that most people know what to wear to a rehearsal dinner, or our groomsmen were particularly clueless. I’m not going to take a guess at which one of those it was. No matter which was the case, I feel like an idiot.
Note that my fiance was looking particularly dapper. He meets expectations. All others? FAIL. I have only myself to blame.
Enough about that. Here’s me and my dad practicing our aisle-walking skills. This dry run made me very grateful that I was planning on wearing flats on the wedding day. Even these wedges were sinking in the ground!
I decided to wear my mother’s veil for the rehearsal. What? There are only so many days in your life when you’re allowed to wear a veil, ladies. Milk it for all it’s worth!
So, yeah. Other than the dress code snafu, everything went really well at the rehearsal. I was AMPED! This was really happening!
Before we move on, I want to emphasize the importance of rehearsal dinner invitations. I thought they seemed like a waste of time and money, but it turned out they were kind of important. I made several people VERY uncomfortable by ignoring one small detail. 
As Nike says, just do it, ladies and gentlemen.
Anyone else fall into the same trap I did? Please tell me I’m not alone!
(all photos by family members)
I haven’t been in too many weddings, but I’ve been to enough rehearsal dinners, and usually there is an invitation. I do agree with you, that it seems pretty self explanatory that those in the wedding attend the rehearsal dinner, but I guess people feel more comfortable with things in writing.
Also about the dress code, I’ve been some rehearsals that are semi-formal and nice, and I’ve also been to some that are really causal. Don’t be too hard on the groomsmen. (Most guys are pretty hopeless, unless told what to do.)
We did the word of mouth rehearsal dinner invite but it was different for us. We did it the night before at our “welcome drinks” get together for all our guests. So they only had to think about it for 24 hours and if one person forgot the rest of the guests could help them find the location.
1) I LOVE your RD dress.
2) Argh… now I have something else to do. I kind of suspected I should do invites (or at least flyers?) for those invited to the RD and the day-after brunch… but it seemed casual enough that I could do word-of-mouth. Maybe not.
I think a quick e-mail invite would suffice, no? Because I sure as heck ain’t sending paper invites for a rehersal dinner.
I’m so glad that you brough this up because I was just showing Mr. B invitations I wanted to order for the rehearsal dinner and he was like, “Do we really need these? Really?” UM. YES.
My cousin recently got married and I was curious as to if i was invited as “close family” or not invited at all. they didnt’ send out paper invites (come on, weddings are expensive enough) but i was glad to get my Evite online. We were able to rsvp and add comments, some were quite funny and it made me excited for the rehersal.
I will be doing evites for mine as well. If anyone invited isn’t “computer savvy” i’ll give them a personal phone call or talk to them in person. I’m sure no one will be offended. They’re getting another free dinner, can’t complain!
I love your dress! You and your fi (now husband) look great!
mm good point! i never even thought of it! for all the weddings i’ve been in, i’ve never gotten a rehearsal dinner invite.. most of them were by word of mouth. i’ll definitely send out an evite now!
We totally were under dressed for the wedding rehearsal we went to over Thanksgiving. We both wore nice tops, but only packed jeans! Oops?
Aww…I LOVE that you wore your mom’s veil to rehearsal. And your dress is BEAUTIFUL!
I also love that you wore your mom’s veil! That’s so sweet!
If you want to talk about things going wrong at a wedding rehearsal, how about watching this movie I just saw called White Wedding? The groom doesn’t even make it to the rehearsal. The movie is a spiral of ridiculous antics that happen to the groom as he tries to make it to where the wedding is taking place. It’s a really cute movie about how sometimes, things don’t always go your way at your wedding, but that doesn’t have to ruin it. It can even make it better! http://whiteweddingmovie.com/
My wife and I invited our immediate family and wedding party and their guests and ended up just telling people word of mouth. I think that it might have been worth the time and effort to at least send an email evite to those invited to avoid any confusion…always hindsight though!
I used paperless post for my invites. I felt that it was casual enough to send through email, however it made it more of an event with the invites. Also, no extra cost!
Our ‘rehearsal dinner’ is going to be lasagne provided by Mr CB’s parents, brought to the hall that we’re going to be decorating. We get in on the Friday, but not until the evening, so we’re going to decorate for a bit, rehearse, eat, and go back to decorating.
Your groomsmen are wearing completely appropriate clothes for that sort of a situation!
My rehearsal dinner was very casual. I did use evites to get the word out to family, but gave no guidance on what to wear, I don’t believe . . . we were rehearsing outside at a ranch and then going for Greek/Italian food at the nearby college town. I didn’t even wear a special dress, just capri pants and a favorite polo-type top!
So I don’t think there are rules about rehearsal dinners. Did it just bother you how they looked, or were you eating at a nice restaurant afterward?
I say who cares what they wear if they are comfortable and everyone is happy, but that’s just me . . . 
Everyone has different expectations! Glad it went well otherwise!
[...] would you stress yourself out about the fact that groomsmen did not adhere to the rehearsal dinner dress code? Relax, have [...]
Reading over this post made me realize it sounded like I was overly stressed or upset about how the groomsmen dressed, but that’s totally not how it went down. I just wanted to point out that if I wanted them to dress up a little bit, I should have said so. Maybe as a part of, you know, INVITATIONS, either e-mailed or paper? Mrs. Bunny = a little clueless about rehearsal dinners, I guess. I shrugged it off on the day of and realized later that it was really my own fault for expecting them to read my mind. Lesson learned!
@goodvoile: No, it didn’t bother me, but I think they felt a little uncomfortable because they were under-dressed compared to the rest of us. I felt awful for not passing along word via my husband that we were going to be dressy-casual or whatever.
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Mrs. Bunny, Columbus Age and Occupation: 24, Associate Editor/Reporter Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, Reporter Engagement Date: September 23, 2008 Wedding Date: July 2009 Venue: Everal Barn, Westerville About Me: Organized, but messy. I love art (all kinds). I don't have any secrets. I talk a lot and listen even more. I show love by baking. I'm timid by nature, but brave when it counts. Mr. Bunny and I work at competing weekly newspapers, which makes it a little interesting trying to describe our work joys and frustrations without giving away too much before the paper comes out. In spite of that little hurdle, we've managed to build a pretty solid relationship in the short one-and-a-half years we will have been together when we tie the knot. I can't wait!
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