Let’s Get Real

Let’s Get Real

January 26th, 2011 @ 12:35 pm by Miss Oatmeal
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Dear Weddingbee brides, AKA those living in wedding-blog la la land,

I think it’s so important to take a step back and look at the bigger picture every once in awhile. What is a wedding all about? It’s certainly not about the flowers, the centerpieces, the shoes, the food, the venue. None of that really matters when you think about it. I know some of us spend countless hours obsessing over the details because, well, we’re getting married and that’s what we do. But we need to be aware of the realities of this wedding world we live in every day.

I’m not sure if many of you out there have come across this article, but I desperately wanted to share it with anyone following the ‘bee. Click on over and read it if you’d like a fresh perspective on all that wedding inspiration we’re constantly bombarded with.

Let’s Get Real : wedding fresno Oatmeal1 oatmeal1

{Kurstin Roe Photography}

I needed this article, and maybe you did too. It’s so easy for us to caught up in the little details and lose focus of why we’re planning a wedding to begin with. It’s reassuring to know that most of the inspiration we find on wedding blogs is just that: inspiration. Not many of us have unlimited budgets, allowing us to execute the picture-perfect wedding of our dreams. And really, ladies, that’s OK.

Let’s Get Real : wedding fresno Oatmeal2 oatmeal2

{Kurstin Roe Photography}

I wish I could be more like Mr. Oatmeal, who said this to me in the beginning of our engagement: We could go to the courthouse tomorrow and get married, and the end result is the same for me. I’m still going to be your husband, and you’re still going to be my wife. That’s what I’m looking forward to. Everything else in between doesn’t make a difference to me. I know how much the details mean to you, and that’s why I’m letting you do it. It makes you happy. I just want to be your husband.

I love that man, and I couldn’t argue with that. But of course, I still obsess over the little things that might make our pictures prettier but won’t make a bit of difference to our marriage.

The wedding is only one day. A marriage is what is left after that joyous day is over. I just needed to give myself some perspective and a realistic expectation for that day in May.

So, hive, I hope this helps someone else as much as it has helped me.

Article and photos are from United With Love

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27 Responses to “Let’s Get Real”

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Member

Gerbera (message) 4,481 posts, Honey bee

Yes. At the end of the day none of that matters. It’s love, your husband and those that love you are there. Everything else DOES NOT MATTER.

1/26/11 @ 12:41 pm (reply)

Member

sparks (message) 649 posts, Busy bee

This article and your post make great points. It’s good to keep everything in perspective, especially when there is so much emphasis on details and inspiration in blogs.

1/26/11 @ 12:51 pm (reply)

Member

Lilacgal (message) 380 posts, Helper bee

Thanks for this post! Keeping perspective and finding balance is SO important when we are so into each and every minute detail!

1/26/11 @ 12:53 pm (reply)

Member

mebless (message) 512 posts, Busy bee

couldn’t agree more! It’s so easy to get caught up in the details, but when it comes down to it, it’s all about the love you share with your partner! it’s always refreshing to have this reminder!

1/26/11 @ 12:54 pm (reply)

Member

mrstobeeisme (message) 649 posts, Busy bee

I think the article is a nice ‘bring it back to reality’ as far as not getting so caught up in the things out of our control. The one thing we can control is how much we enjoy ourselves and the memories we make as we begin that happily ever after with the man/woman of our dreams. Thanks for sharing, I definately come away with a bit of a redirected mind frame.

1/26/11 @ 12:59 pm (reply)

Guest

Twitter Trackbacks for Let’s Get Real: Dear Weddingbee brides, AKA those living in wedding-blog la la land, I think it’s so important ... [weddingbee.com] on Topsy.com

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1/26/11 @ 1:17 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Meerkat (message) 3,224 posts, Sugar bee

Why is it the grooms always seem to get it before the brides? Mr. M. said the same thing to me when we were planning our wedding. That all he cared about was getting married but he would do anything to make me happy which included all those little wedding details we all love.

1/26/11 @ 1:19 pm (reply)

Member

photographernico (message) 527 posts, Busy bee

Thank you! I needed a reset as we’re preparing to meet with our officiant.

1/26/11 @ 1:20 pm (reply)

Member

jess (message) 264 posts, Helper bee

Thank you so much for posting this.

1/26/11 @ 1:24 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Kinsey123 (message) 69 posts, Worker bee

I liked this article too. The further I’ve gotten into planning, the more frustrated I’ve gotten with the perfect pictures and decor on sites like Style Me Pretty. While I love the site, I started planning with a completely false impression of how my wedding could ever look. In reality I’m sure it will be great, but with my budget it will never meet that standard. This is a refreshing look at what my wedding really will (and won’t) be.

1/26/11 @ 1:44 pm (reply)

11.

Member

Panda Pez (message) 322 posts, Helper bee

AMEN!

1/26/11 @ 1:47 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Ostrich (message) 2,259 posts, Buzzing bee

ahhh, mr. oats and mr. o are cut from the same cloth
i adore my guy for entertaining my etsy and vintage obsessions as we plan our little beach wedding. but if he had it his way, we would have headed to city hall a year and a half ago.

thanks for the kind reminder!

1/26/11 @ 2:16 pm (reply)

13.

Guest

sara

I blame Style Me Pretty, Ruffled, Love & Lavender, etc etcc etc for my expectations. I always see all these amazing details that I know I can never do on my own, so I get stressed out, which is silly if you think about it. Those weddings are not my reality, I have to remember that. I recently went to a fantastic wedding. The bride is an actress and the groom is an actor (aka they have tons of money) and the wedding was in California. It was a beautiful wedding, don’t get me wrong, but as a guest, I didn’t appreciated all the details that went into it and I didn’t get to see alot of the details either until I saw all the photos later. The wedding stylist who did the wedding is always featured on Style Me Pretty and she does amazing work that comes out gorgeous in photos, but in person it was just “ah”. The things I remember the most is the open bar, the celebrites I saw (haha), dancing the night away and the photobooth. My point is, don’t stress out about having menus for each guest or having cute little decorations on each table because NO ONE CARES and that’s putting a lot of stress on you when you should be focusing on GETTING MARRIED! The main thing I’m worried about is my look and my groom’s look, as long as we fit my “vision” and my “theme” I’ll be happy.. I am going to have a couple details like a cute LOVE banner for our table and a cute cake topper, but going crazy with vintage vases and vintage hankies and all that stuff that I first thought I’d do, is not what the day is all about. Even though I won’t have all the details I wish I could have, I know my photographer is going to make my photos turn out AWESOME and most importantly, I know that I am going to be super duper happy on the day. Maybe my wedding won’t be SMP worthy, but it will be the best for us and that’s all that matters. Thanks Miss Oatmeal for this article! Glad to see I’m not the only one bringing myself back down to reality.

1/26/11 @ 2:26 pm (reply)

14.

Guest

Janice Carnevale

It actually brings tears to my eyes to see brides (and bees! what?!) reading my post on United With Love. Seriously, this is a career highlight for me, so thank you Miss Oatmeal. I was very nervous about writing it, but I have been overwhelmed with the positive responses. And while I am guilty of participating in a styled shoot or two myself, it truly saddens me to see couples/brides/women swept up in the details that they have been encouraged to believe matter but don’t really matter in the end. Thank you all, for the kind words and support. It really means a lot to this wedding planner who may not have “bloggable” weddings but sure has joyful clients.

1/26/11 @ 2:52 pm (reply)

15.

Member

Ms. Sparkles (message) 698 posts, Busy bee

This article will keep in my perspective when I go and meet withe the weddign planner at our venue this evening. I just wish someone will throw the wedding for me and I just show up.

1/26/11 @ 3:00 pm (reply)

16.

Member

lolo7835 (message) 564 posts, Busy bee

On a separate note, I love that people are now reading United with Love (One of the girls who helps run it is a friend of our DOC) It’s a awesome DC wedding blog that works for everything!

And a great article to! I always quote the ladies over at APW “your wedding is not a photoshoot”. It’s kept me sane.

1/26/11 @ 3:12 pm (reply)

17.

Guest

Julianne Smith (United With Love)

Love that you love this post on our blog! Janice from Bellwether Events did such a great job of writing this honest post. Here is to loving, amazing REAL weddings

1/26/11 @ 3:17 pm (reply)

18.

Member

culby cheese (message) 193 posts, Blushing bee

We’re all victims of too many goodies to check out on the internet- including Weddingbee! I think that brides get caught up in the fairy tale aspect of the wedding- even those of us who haven’t been planning since we were 5! I got caught up in all the details no one noticed but me, and felt bad about not having a photobooth, etc… there is always something you will wish you had done differently or had been able to afford, etc. You can’t get caught up in that!

It’s more important to focus on making the day about the couple. It’s most important to not forget about what comes after the wedding- the marriage! Have the wedding you can afford, and don’t ever be ashamed about it! Unless you force your bridesmaids to wear camo or something.

1/26/11 @ 4:02 pm (reply)

19.