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We booked our venue over a year ago. We knew early on that it was exactly what we wanted, and we eagerly signed up to have both our ceremony and our reception there. The venue was then crossed off the to-do list and promptly placed on the back burner. Our Day-Of Coordinator over there checked in with us from time to time, but other than that, it was out of sight and out of mind. Now that our wedding is about two months away, I decided to schedule a meeting with our DOC to start ironing out the details. What time does this vendor arrive? What does the pattern of traffic flow look like from ceremony to cocktail hour? Where is our candy buffet going to be?
What followed were a series of epiphanies. Not the good kind, either. The kind where innocence is lost and you’re left thinking, “Crap! What do I do now?” I believe there’s a Disney princess out there somewhere whose face can convey this emotion…
I’m glad we have an experienced venue and an awesome DOC to help me figure things out. Nonetheless, our meeting resulted in adding some new items to my to-do list, some new problems that I now needed to solve:
1. Our tables seat 8, and I initially thought they seated 10.
My bad. I shouldn’t have assumed, and I don’t really know why I did in the first place. So, now we need an additional 5 tables to accommodate our guests, which means 5 additional centerpieces. Groan. It’s only money, and we over-budgeted for the sole purpose of covering our booties in the event of mistakes like this. Problem solved.
2. Table linens bring up the white vs. ivory debate that I so despise.
My dress is ivory. Mr. Lion and the Lion GMen are wearing gray tuxes with ivory shirts. The Lioness Bmaids are wearing multicolored shoes with a white background, but they are wearing ivory fascinators (I figure they’re far enough apart and there’s a lot going on elsewhere in the ensemble, no one will notice). When my DOC and I began to discuss table cloths and chair covers, we instantly decided on ivory. Then, we had to decide on sashes for the chair covers. I could choose between black, burgundy, olive, white, silver, or gold. They all looked great with the white, but the gold was pretty much the only option for the ivory.
Gold kinda clashed with the rest of our color scheme, so that left me back at indecisive. I really liked the silver, since we’re using mint julep cups for our centerpieces. Could we pull off the silver with the ivory? Or should we just switch to white and forget the fact that it didn’t match my dress? For that matter, could we do white linens and white sashes? What do you think?
3. My cake plan was turned upside down.
We had planned on having approximately 100 cupcakes, in three different flavors. We were also planning on having a groom’s cake, which would serve 50-75 people. We planned to cut a small cake on top of a cupcake tree, which our baker had agreed to make for us. Then, guests would be able approach the cake table and choose between our three cupcake flavors or a slice of groom’s cake. This concerned my DOC, as she believed that it would result in chaos and (dare I say) it might look tacky. She thought it would be better if the cakes were served.
She also added that it would be better if all of the guests received one cupcake and all of the guests received one small slice of groom’s cake. I suppose that would appear more hospitable, but it seemed like a lot of food for our daytime wedding. Additionally, that would cause us to buy twice as much cake as we had initially anticipated! Could we get away with serving 100 of our guests cupcakes and the rest groom’s cake? Or would it be so bad if we stuck with the self-serve route? Or should we just bite the bullet and buy cake for (gasp) 300 servings for a 150-person guest list? What do you think?
Y’all, wedding planning is getting stressful as we’re reaching the home stretch! I just wanna go back into DIY mode and play with fun projects and not deal with logistics! Thanks for reading such a whiny post, and thanks in advance for your advice. I hope I didn’t stress you out vicariously! I’m going to go have a glass of wine now…
What kinds of roadblocks have you run into with your nitty gritty details?
I think you’re in the clear with less than 300 servings of cake if you go with the self-serve route. Maybe bump it to 100 servings of cake, though in case people want to try more than one cupcake flavor and they run out early?
Just let the dessert be displayed. I’ve been to lots of weddings like that, and I think that its fine. I actually prefer it because then I get to choose what I want. 
I don’t think everyone will want groom’s cake, or that it needs to be served, but I think if you’ve got several interesting flavors of cupcakes, people will want to try more than one kind. Is there a polite way to make it clear that they can only have one cupcake? Just a thought…
Also, I love ivory and silver together!
Did you actually see the ivory linens in person? because when i was making this same decision the ivory color used was a very deep cream, and even tho my dress was also called “ivory” it was really very close to white. So we used white linens. “ivory” is super subjective and can range anywhere from practically white to almost tan. but with linens, and i imagine standard white and ivory linens are the same everywhere, it’s a pretty deep cream. also, why not use black sashes? they will go with your color scheme and of course they will go with the ivory, it’s BLACK. it goes with everything…except maybe brown. i think that’s a much better choice than the gold.
Don’t let her bully you out of your cake desires!! SO the eff WHAT if it looks “tacky” (which it won’t, and again, so what)… try to keep your vision in mind and remember it’s your (and Lion’s) party so who cares what your DOC thinks? It sucks that you’d have to spend more money just to do what she thinks is best (and not what you actually want).
It seems to me that matching your overall color scheme will make more sense instead of trying to matching your dress so I think if you like silver sash, you can go with white table cloths.
For the cake issue, serving it is nicer.
Have you thought about serving them family style instead of individual servings to each table?
For example, a platter that consists of a few cupcakes and slices of groom’s cake will be served to each table for the guests to choose which one they want. That way you don’t have to buy 300 servings because I am doubtful that people will eat that much cake. Just an idea. You may have to ask your venue if this is doable.
300 servings is WAY TOO MANY! I think the self-service thing is great.
since the guys are wearing grey i see why you didn’t want to go with the black sash, but it goes better with your colors than the gold… I agree with Kemi82JP… the ivory might not be the same color as your dress and therefor not matter if you did the white of the ivory…
And I agree with Miss Bacon… 100 cupcakes and 100 servings of grooms cake sounds like enough…
self serve is fine. Mrs. Cola did it!
http://www.weddingbee.com/2010/11/02/giant-tower-of-cupcakes/
p.s. about the cake - no it will not look tacky, since when is a cake table tacky?? i can’t believe she told you that. it actually makes more sense to leave the cake station self serve. you’re idea is a great one, stick to it yes it’s more formal to have the cake served, but half the guests won’t even eat any, so doubling your order is a bad idea and waste of money.
White vs. Ivory: I personally think it looks fine to mix them, which I did in my wedding. They’re both neutrals, and Stacy and Clinton always say you can mix and match neutrals!
Cake: I think you should stick with your self-service idea, at least at first. At my wedding, we did self service, but only some of the guests bothered to get up and go get a piece of cake. The restaurant catering staff (we got married at a restaurant) then served whatever was left to the people who hadn’t gotten up. That way, the people who cared got to choose what they wanted, and everybody who was lazy still got cake!
We did a table with cupcakes and milk & cookies. People did not rush the table and there were tons of leftovers even though we did not even provide one cupcake per person. Not everyone eats dessert. It did not look tacky at all and the dessert table pictures came out gorgeous!
In the white/ivory debate I’m on Team NOBODY WILL NOTICE. Seriously, nobody will ever notice - even if you analyize your photos a year from now you won’t notice. Unless you’re wearing dark ivory/cream/gold and your marrying a Navy dude in his ‘white’s’ nobody will notice. I say go with whatever table cloth looks best with the chairs and centrpieces. After all the stuff that gets put on it nobody will notice! People hang their coats over the backs, bags, purses, cameras, bread baskets all clash!
Also our caterer told us that they either pass out the dessert to each plate or walk around with it on trays - depending on the mood at the time. I trusted them and it worked!
@Miss Bacon: Ooo compromise. I like it.
@CorgiTales: Right?! People like choices!
@Kemi82JP: EXCELLENT points. It was a much creamier ivory than my dress’ ivoryl
@mclove: Ugh, I hate that word so much…”tacky.” She really is lovely, but it did make the decision seem uglier!
@Jls3824: Another great compromise! Mr. Lion made the same suggestion. I told him about your comment and he said that great minds think alike
@Misslizzy: And Cola’s looked like so much fun!
@SabrinaR424: Ha! I love it! I pretty much take everything they say as gospel, so that makes me feel a lot better!
I definitely agree with Keni82JP on the ivory/white front. You should definitely see the ivory before going with it. And who says your dress has to match the tablecloths? I mean… do you really want to match your tablecloths? Will you be photographed with your tablecloths much? And even so, do you want to match it? Just a thought….
Some people won’t even take one slice of cake, let alone two. I’d stick with your initial plan; I’ve seen it done lots of times before, and no one is EVER rushing the dessert table and creating chaos. Folks will behave themselves.
As far as the white vs. ivory goes, I’m gonna say go with white linens and silver cuz you like it. I’m thinking it would be weird if you matched your tablecloth in the first place. Not that it’s guaranteed that your dress’s ivory will match the tablecloth’s ivory anyway… they’re bound to look different, so you might as well make it look intentional and go with white. Besides- neutrals always match each other when done right: grey, ivory, white, black, and (gasp!) brown are all part of the same color family ( art school graduate and Clinton Kelly knowledge backing that fact up right there!!)
I second SabrinaR424’s comment about the cake (:
Regarding the colours, I think you should go with the white instead of the ivory. You’ll have more options that way and I don’t think anyone will be looking for your dress to match the table haha (:
[...] It’s Complicated | Weddingbee weddingbee.com/2011/01/27/its-complicated/ – view page – cached We booked our venue over a year ago. We knew early on that it was exactly what we wanted, and we eagerly signed up to have both our ceremony and our reception [...]
Our baker told us that about only 80% of the guests eat cake (he also let us know that was a very generous estimate). So, 300 servings of cake might leave you with a lot of leftover cake.
What about slicing some of the grooms cake and offering guests a choice between all 3 flavors or the grooms cake. Let them decide. I do think 300 servings is to many.
just b/c your DOC suggest it..doesn’t mean you HAVE to do it. If you are at a venue where they are “used to it being done this way” then she is going to suggest the norm…no one is going to thing your cake spread is tacky except your DOC (I’ve been to too many weddings where served cake was left at the place setting untouched)
If you haven’t looked at the linens in person, maybe you could go for a quick min and do a “mock table set up” to help you decide (personally all white looks the same and in sunlight/candle light/ flourescents no one is going to tell the difference!
I hope your stresses get eliminated quickly Good luck!
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Mrs. Lioness, Atlanta Age and Occupation: 25, Physical Therapist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Attorney Engagement Date: August 29, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2011 Venue: Anthony’s Fine Dining About Me: I’m a Southern girl with New England roots. I say "wicked" and "y’all" in the same sentence and I like to drink sweet tea with my lobster. Mr. Lion and I are both former Floridians now living in Atlanta, which fortunately is still SEC country...Go Gators! We both love baseball, coffee, traveling, cooking, and playing Words with Friends with each other on our iPhones all day long. I’m very passionate about the things and the people I love, and I tend to plan things with all of my heart...our wedding, of course, is no different! Oh, and also Mr. Lion is a first generation American of Cuban descent. I may look more like Lucy than Ricky, but I’m doing my best to incorporate some Latin elements into our vintage-garden-Southern wedding!
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