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That last post was one of the hardest I’ve written so far. I am still shocked that I’ve become one of those brides that you see on TV; you know the ones—the girls who try on a million dresses, finally pick a dress, and months later decide it’s not the one and demand a new dress. I am her. That girl who I have mocked and watched with just a hair of disgust. I am that wishy-washy, drama monger of a bride that wants to have two dresses.
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Honestly, it’s not that I want two dresses. It’s just that I want one of the right dress. I can’t believe that I have picked a dress and I’m doubting it. What’s worse is that it’s taken me almost three full months to accept that I really might have screwed this up, so it’s way too late to cancel the previous order. I kept telling myself that it’s no big deal and that I’ll just wear it for a day. But when I really look at it, this is my one and only wedding day, and it should be as close to perfect as I can manage.
What am I going to do about all of this? Well, I’m going to go try the dresses on. Not just Elaine and Mila, but also the Amsale from Belle Vie Bridal and Mojave by Watters from Minneapolis.
Amsale (left) Enzoani (Elaine) (right)
Priscilla of Boston (Mila) (left) Watters (Mojave) (right)
I haven’t told my mom yet, but I am going to go to the stores to try them on this weekend, then sit on them for a little while before deciding once and for all that I made the right or wrong decision. Fortunately, the salon where I bought Elaine is having a Watters trunk show this weekend, so they will definitely have Mojave in store; this way I can try them both on. And while I’m out in the ’burbs, I’ll hit up Priscilla of Boston, too, so I can give Mila a visit. Then sometime next week, I’ll make an appointment to see the Amsale.
Hopefully, I’m just being paranoid, and putting Elaine back on will make me all giddy inside, and I’ll realize that it’s all been for nothing. But I’m really not all that hopeful.
I guess the last big decision is whether I am going to try on these dresses alone so that I can really make the decision on my own, or if I should bring a supportive friend. The fear there, of course, is that I would be swayed again.
What do you think I should do? Fly solo, or find a friend to trek through these four dresses with me?
I would take a friend who really has your best interest in mind. She’ll want you to be your happiest, so she won’t mind if you don’t pick her absolute fav.
If possible, I also recommend trying to take pictures. That really helped me with my decision. It wasn’t so much that one dress photographed poorly on me… it was more that once I was able to rapidly look from A to B and back again, the decision became clear for me. Good luck!
I’d say go solo. Being swayed by others is what got you in this mess in the first place. Go on your own, take the time to obsess and contemplate and then make your own mind. Good luck! 
Bring a friend who you can trust to pay attention to you and reflect back what she hears you saying, and then tell her that’s her job.
I’m having similar feelings about my dress. I do really like it, but I wish it had a bit of lacy detail and I worry that its a bit more modern than I would have liked it to be.
I see pictures of other dresses that I really like and it makes me regret purchasing my dress so soon… so I hear ya!
I say fly this one alone. You need to make the decision all by yourself and hopefully it’ll give you some time to actually connect with the dress. I know I was listening way too hard to what some family/friends were saying. I don’t at all regret making the purchase, but part of me really thinks the other one was the one… It’s just way too easy to ignore what you are feeling when you are being swept up in what everyone else is saying around. And while you could bring a supportive friend, one eye roll that you aren’t meant to see may bring your resolve to an end!!!!
[...] Hi,Wishy. My Name is Washy. | Weddingbee weddingbee.com/2011/01/27/wedding-dress-doubt/ – view page – cached That last post was one of the hardest I’ve written so far. I am still shocked that I’ve become one of those brides that you see on TV; you know the [...]
Don’t feel weird/guilty/whatever about possibly changing your mind. I did it twice! I probably wouldn’t have bought dress #2 if I had someone with me. If you have someone you really trust (not necessarily your closest friends), bring them with you. If not, go solo. Pictures will be critical here, so don’t accept any “no pictures” policies. For what it’s worth, I like the Enzoani the best.
I think that bringing other people along is what often makes brides end up with dresses that they don’t love, so I would go solo … but it might be nice to have a silent someone there to take pictures! Or, like another poster said, maybe someone to take note of your reactions to the different dresses, and then remind you later about the look on your face when you saw yourself in one, etc.
I’d go with maybe one close friend, and not your mom. Honestly, picking my dress out without my mom was the best decision for me. We have very different taste and having her be so vocal about dresses I didn’t like was difficult for me. So, I bought my dress with just friends and showed it to her afterward.
Solo — phone a friend only if you’re truly stuck and need help talking through it.
I say solo - it will help you choose a dress for you, and not for others.
I am one of those brides too. I purchased a dress and regretted it. But the 2nd time around I took my cousin. She didn’t come with the first round. I knew she would tell me if she didn’t love it. But if I found something I loved i know I could over power her! LOL. I think it just depends on the personality of who you bring. Key word being “supportive”
I did the exact same thing.
I bought a dress soon after getting engaged only my second time out trying on dresses. After being home a couple months I started to question whether it was the right dress for me. I never that big thisismydress moment and so I started to wonder if I had made a mistake.
I called up my MOH and she agreed to come with me to try on more dresses. During the appointment, I actually found one I loved. The first thought through my head was, “Well now I’ve gone and done it. I’ll have to buy a second dress. Crap.”
I went home that night and researched the heck out of the second dress. I still loved it. I was even on the verge of telling my mom the news. Then I decided to pull up pictures of myself in both dresses. I flipped back and forth, and I started to think about the wedding we wanted to have, how I felt in each dress, and why I was having doubts about the first dress.
I ultimately decided that the original dress was the one for me. I knew I had picked that dress for a reason and although I really loved the second, it just wasn’t for me.
I guess my point is, just know you’re not alone, and that ultimately you’ll make the right decision for you.
Ride solo!!! YOU need to make this decision without even one single opinion swaying you.
And you know what, Bacon my dear? Everybody has moments like this. It just goes with the territory because it’s a day that will be remembered forever and preserved with five billion photos, so we want every detail to be perfect. Trust me, I just spent 2 hours in a Nordstrom Rack fitting room a few weeks ago trying on as many dresses as they would let me have at a time, and I’ve had my dress for almost a year.
You’re not alone & we luv ya : )
I went to try on the dress I ended up buying by myself, just to see if I liked it as much without mum and MIL gushing over it, and I found it really helped, so I vote solo!
Go solo!! that way you can have this “wishy washy bratty bride you hate so much” moment without any witnesses lol PLUS you mentioned you could potentially be swayed if you brought someone so you already know you need to go alone.
I think the Elaine is georgous and it seems really similar to the amsale and mila so I wouldn’t change gowns if I couldn’t..it really isn’t that much of a difference in appearance.
the mojave is the only one that will change your overall look completely–to be honest it looks cheap and you may find that when you see it in person.
I wanna know what you decide b/c I too think I might be a member of the wishy washy club as well.
good luck
fly solo! It’s much easier to work out what you think and feel about each dress.
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Mrs. Bacon, Chicago Age and Occupation: 26, Digital Advertising Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, IT Client Services Engagement Date: June 17, 2010 Wedding Date: September 2011 Venue: Ravenswood Billboard Factory About Me: I'm a Midwestern girl that can't seem to commit to staying in one place for too long and is constantly daydreaming about my next adventure. I am an aspiring foodie with a weak spot for the unusual and I love semi-reality food television. My other loves easily include laughing as a form of exercise, a book that I can't put down, summer baseball games, espresso with whipped cream, couch potato days and nights with the ridiculous Mr. Bacon, and our two kitties, Lincoln and Sawyer. We're planning a faux-destination wedding for 150 of our closest friends and family in the city we've both adopted as home that has a modern, yet whimsical twist and as many personal touches as we can manage.
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