Green-Eyed Monsters

Green-Eyed Monsters

January 27th, 2011 @ 8:08 am by Mrs. Lox
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I look at wedding things every day. I look at what vendors on Etsy are selling. I look at what people on message boards are discussing. I look at what other brides are planning. I look at pictures of other couples’ wedding days. I look for inspiration. I look for ideas. I look because it’s all so easy to find.

I thought I had a complex about some things because I’m spending less money, or I’m less creative, or I didn’t get the hippest photographer. I thought I was a unique little snowflake of a bride with my insecurities. I’m guessing someone reading this feels the same way.

So here’s what I want to tell you today. It doesn’t come with inspiration photos or pithy post titles. Sorry about that. I’ll do better after this, I promise. I have wedding envy. Of basically all of you. I am just a covetous little bride. I see your pictures and hear your ideas, and I’m convinced that our centerpieces aren’t cool enough, my shoes aren’t bright enough, and my hair flower isn’t big enough. I’m sure our napkins will be folded wrong and our cake will ultimately look silly. Every once in awhile, I wonder if anyone will ever be able to see what I meant them to see when this is all executed, or if it will look like a weird mishmash thrown together by a crazy woman.

I have wedding envy. And I bet you do too.

It was a reader who taught me that while I’m being jealous of someone’s super cute details, there is someone being jealous of mine. At some point, we are all convinced we’re not living up to…well…something. But there is no something to live up to. And we are all planning what will be a perfect day for us. So why are we beating ourselves up so much?

Right. There is no reason.

So listen here. Let’s just let go. Let’s piece our own celebrations together with love, and they will be beautiful. Let’s build our own dreams. Let’s all relax a little. Oh, and Kelly (you know who you are)? I’m sure your shutters with your escort cards and your cigar bar will be amazing. Even without a monogram or e-pics. I just hope I get to see pictures. Not so I can covet, but so I can share a little bit of your happy. Also, thanks for the reminder. I needed a little kick.

That is all. Please resume the wedding planning and the tiny details. Next time we meet I’ll have flowers and cake to discuss. With pictures, even.

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20 Responses to “Green-Eyed Monsters”

Member

Bubu82 (message) 1,223 posts, Bumble bee

This is great. Well said, Miss Lox!

1/27/11 @ 11:11 am (reply)

Member

kdane (message) 168 posts, Blushing bee

I covet too but I try to keep it all in perspective. Thank you for talking about this. you are right. We should all share the joy.
Be it large and grand or intimate and budgetwise, all weddings are beautiful.

1/27/11 @ 11:11 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Rainbow (message) 1,535 posts, Bumble bee

This is so true! When we were planning a big shindig, every time I saw a fun new idea or opened up StyleMePretty, I just wanted to cry. I felt like I would never live up to having a ‘blog-worthy’ wedding! It wasn’t until I let got of the ‘details’ and the ‘pretty pictures’ that I was able to put together something I loved and was proud of!

1/27/11 @ 11:33 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

So true…And it totally encompasses all different budgets! I had a pretty large budget (by comparision) but I had a full-on meltdown at a friend’s wedding when I feared mine wouldn’t measure up…It’s hard!

1/27/11 @ 11:38 am (reply)

Member

DianaLynn (message) 197 posts, Blushing bee

Very well said, and I know how you feel. My wedding is following two of our friend’s weddings that were just…unbelievable. I’m talking about wine tastings, cigar bars, flaming desserts, overlooking the NYC skyline while you dine from TEN different food station kind of unbelievable. I had serious wedding envy and serious moments of thinking “ugh, I can’t believe my run of the mill banquet hall reception has to follow THESE ones.” And I too had a little meltdown. But then I got over it. Or at least I’m trying. It’s not about the platinum details, it really is about our love for each other and having everyone we love there to witness it.

1/27/11 @ 11:44 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Panther (message) 1,046 posts, Bumble bee

So, so, so true.

1/27/11 @ 11:56 am (reply)

Member

bridesmomma (message) 451 posts, Helper bee

Well said, Miss Lox!

1/27/11 @ 12:02 pm (reply)

Member

sparks (message) 649 posts, Busy bee

You are so right! I love wedding blogs and others’ weddings, but I always need to remind myself it is not a competition!

1/27/11 @ 12:15 pm (reply)

Member

kayakgirl73 (message) 2,157 posts, Buzzing bee

Will put, Miss Lox. I struggled with this when I was planning also.

1/27/11 @ 12:17 pm (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Bacon (message) 656 posts, Busy bee

I’m totally jealous of your ideas and I can completely commiserate. We ladies have a lot of pressure on us to meet a certain bar that we set unreasonably high for ourselves. I’m so glad you wrote this post!

1/27/11 @ 12:20 pm (reply)

11.

Member

that girl (message) 71 posts, Worker bee

Very true!

1/27/11 @ 12:42 pm (reply)

12.

Member

culby cheese (message) 193 posts, Blushing bee

We are victims of the age of the internet as much as it is our savior in planning. I don’t know what I would have done without the interwebz to research vendors, etc., but it’s also so easy to want to keep up with the Joneses. I would have had a platinum wedding if I had incorporated all the wonderful ideas I found while planning, but our little shindig was perfect for us!

1/27/11 @ 12:59 pm (reply)

13.

Member

bRooklynRocks (message) 3,767 posts, Honey bee

So so true. I remember a bee talking about this (Ms. Hippo) and I was so amazed because I was envious of all the details she was putting into her wedding and making it really personal. Oh well, I guess as humans, the grass is always greener on the other side. We are just going to have to deal by ourselves.

1/27/11 @ 1:21 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Ostrich (message) 1,948 posts, Buzzing bee

amen, loxy. such a great post!

1/27/11 @ 1:33 pm (reply)

15.

Bee

Mrs. Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

I’ve definitely had wedding envy!

1/27/11 @ 3:40 pm (reply)

16.

Bee

Mrs. Glasses (message) 2,741 posts, Sugar bee

I eventually deleted all the wedding blogs from my reader about a month before our wedding. I got really hung up on what I wasn’t having and comparing my wedding to (sorry to say) almost impossible standards of those glossy wedding blogs. I keep reading Weddingbee though ‘cuz y’all keep it real!

1/27/11 @ 3:50 pm (reply)

17.

Member

Kinsey123 (message) 69 posts, Worker bee

I completely agree. This is one of a few posts lately about the ‘realer’ side of weddings and I’ve really enjoyed reading them. In this hugely technological age, I think we have access to too much information sometimes. I’ve cut back looking at blogs like Style Me Pretty that I used to follow every day, mostly because of the pressure I felt from looking at everyone’s perfect pictures of their gorgeous weddings. I think that in some ways, society has created a wedding monster, and brides are often taken down with it.

1/27/11 @ 9:13 pm (reply)

18.

Member

Sunlavender (message) 553 posts, Busy bee

Amen.

1/27/11 @ 9:40 pm (reply)

19.

Guest

Link Roundup January 28 « SuperNoVaBride

[...] is no need to be envious of other couple’s weddings. [...]

1/28/11 @ 10:30 am (reply)

20.

Member

EmeraldR (message) 753 posts, Busy bee

Very few weddings can stack up to a perfectly arranged professional magazine photo shoot or a top dollar wedding. I’ve invested in a few small details I enjoy and am focusing on the ceremony and the honeymoon….and the fact that I couldn’t be sharing my life with a more amazing man. No wedding blog can capture a love like ours in pretty pictures.

1/28/11 @ 10:48 am (reply)