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Earlier this week, I ran into the mother of a friend of mine, and we had a memorable conversation. Her son, my friend’s brother, was recently married so she still has weddings on the mind. She asked me about the wedding and I was telling her about our plans, but some of the answers I gave to her questions seemed to shock her.
For example, she asked me if I’d been to a certain bridal expo here in Philly. When I told her that I hadn’t gone to a single expo or show, nor did I plan to, you could’ve knocked her over with a feather. “But how did you find all of your vendors?” she gasped. I explained that I did all of my research online, but then she countered with “But there are always such good giveaways and prizes at those shows!” I couldn’t come up with a tactful way to explain that the true prize to me would be to NOT fight my way through a crowded room, talking to vendors I had no intention of booking, and getting a lifetime’s worth of junk mail as a result, so I just shrugged.
But she continued to look at me like this:
She was flabbergasted again when she asked me about wedding magazines and I told her that I didn’t subscribe to any. I told her how I had two or three that were handed down from other brides I knew, but that they didn’t really do it for me so that I passed them along as well. Again, the internet had all the inspiration I needed. Her reaction?
The final shock came when she asked me how much I was looking forward to the upcoming Royal Wedding. When I told her that I didn’t care about it beyond which dress Kate ended up wearing, I thought she’d pass out! I explained that I’m much more interested in wedding inspiration that comes from real people with real budgets, instead of the pomp, circumstance, and giant budget of William and Kate’s wedding and she was like…
Eventually, she said “I guess you’re just not as interested in weddings as my daughter-in-law was,” which I found hilarious. I mean, I write for a wedding blog, and not a day goes by that I don’t spend a hell of a lot of time and energy on the wedding, even if I’m just brainstorming or making lists. She said it nicely, but I couldn’t help but feel that she thought I was totally subversive by not being interested in expos, magazines, or William and Kate.
Oh, and you should’ve seen her face when I told her I was wearing pink shoes and carrying a brooch bouquet. I know that things were different for her generation but I got such a kick out of her surprise. Our wedding might not be super-traditional, but it’s definitely not that unusual or unique.
So, I definitely got a kick out of the whole thing. I enjoy someone thinking I’m a crazy wedding radical when I’m totally not. It makes me giggle.
Was anyone from an older generation shocked at your wedding outlook or plans? How did you react?
OMG, she probably ran to the ladies that lunch and told them “she’s wearing PINK shoes” and “her flowers aren’t really FLOWERS they’re JEWELRY.” But then later she’ll see pictures (assuming they’re not invited) and realize how fabulous it was and be super impressed! LOL Some people have no imagination.
LOL!! I too look to the internet for all my ideas and inspirations. EVERYTHING we need is at our fingertips! When I told my Mom that I wanted a carnival themed reception she just shook her head. But it’s to be expected. I’ve always been the quirky, unconventional daughter. My ceremony will be traditional, just for my family. I have yet to buy a magazine or go to an expo. I remember my sisters weddings and all the expos and stores that we went to. I don’t want to be that girl because I’m not that girl. I just want to have fun with it!
My aunt (who happens to be my name sake) was very surprised when I told her that all my girls were wearing the same dress (just with a different sash for the MOH), I was wearing blue shoes, I was putting my flower girl in a knee length dress and she wasn’t dropping flowers (I’m afraid she will eat them), and that I was considering having my mom walk me down the ailse… Her shock was classic especially when she tried to get me to promise that I wouldn’t do somethings…
Le sigh, yes I can relate. My mom had a minor (sometimes major) meltdown everytime we booked a vendor…because we found them online and not through ‘word of mouth.’ She ended up LOVING every one we chose, but the planning process was exhausting, to say the least.
But, Sloth, didn’t you know?? There’s only one way to plan a wedding! XD Too funny!
if i had a dime for the number of times my mom called my [catholic-church] wedding “untraditional,” i wouldnt have to save anything for my wedding. the latest battle is over my wish for a royal-style head table vs the type where everyone sits in a row. oy.
I’ve had similar reactions to the fact that I didn’t go to the wedding expos, I’m wearing blue shoes, my bridesmaids aren’t carrying bouquets and I want one made out of baby’s breath only, among many other things.
And yet I’m probably more aware of weddings and the industry then anyone I talk to.
I think some people get to caught up on the idea of tradition. Especially since most of these so called ‘traditions’ are maybe a 100 years old!
Its better to be you and enjoy your wedding then worry about whether it fits into what ’society’ thinks is normal.
All I got out of the wedding magazines were a few lists and alot of discouragement due to looking at 8,000 dresses that were almost all out of my budget. I LOVE weddingbee simply because I can get so many unique and fun ideas to go along with my unique and fun wedding! 
I’m very anti-cookie-cutter so I love things like brooch bouquets and pink shoes (I’m doing a diy paper flower bouquet and purple shoes hehe!)
Lol, too funny! People act the same way and are in a state of shock and horror when I tell them we’re not having a wedding cake or even cupcakes.
Ahh!! Haha I love it, too funny. I’ll tell you both my Mom and MIL have had some of the same reactions… “You want to wear BLACK shoes? On your wedding day? Isn’t that so very depressing?” Umm.. nope, not when it’s my favorite color and not when my dress (hopefully!) has a black sash as well… So unimaginative
I did the same thing, looked up all of my vendors online and did personal interviews with them. And if you really think about it most of the great vendors don’t even go to bridal shows. And those prizes are more like what you did say, nothing more than a lifetime of junk mail.
But I agree, I hate seeing or hearing about budgets that are way out there. I mean ours is not laughing matter either, 24K for everything even down to the last detail and honeymoon we felt was a decent amount.
And btw, I have chocolate brown glitter shoes, (Nine West “Stepout”) with orange organza shoe clips! Love them!
yeah, at Christmas when I said to one of my aunts, “honestly if it were up to me we would just go down to the courthouse, have a small party and be done with the whole thing, ” she started laughing hysterically, then when she realized I wasn’t laughing she was like “surely you can’t be serious” to which I replied “don’t call me Shirley, and yes, yes I am.”
I went to a bridal expo and though I had fun, I didn’t win anything in the “contests” and since I had to give out my name/email/phone# to enter most of the drawings, I’ve been dealing with a ton of junk mail and spam calls ever since. WeddingWire and the Bee are much better resources for wedding planning than bridal shows!
FMIL was shocked that we are not getting a limo… We’re not getting married in a church and we’re doing our first look at our venue, and there’s about a million places I’d rather spend $500 on than a 10-minute limo ride to my venue.
Magazines and expos seem so limited to me. You can find SO much MORE and unique and varied information & inspiration on the internet!
I have to admit I get a little surprised when I hear my friends talking about their wedding plans if they’re not familiar with weddingbee, style me pretty, snippet & ink, 100layer cake, etc. They’re the ones that sound like they’re not that into planning to me. (That lady’s daughter in law included!)
HAHA Too funny! I totally get where you’re coming from. I actually bought several magazines when I first got engaged and I have thrown every one of them away without tearing out a single page. They just didn’t do anything for me. I got ALL my inspiration from the internet. I just find more unique but beautiful things that way. Etsy has been a huge source of inspiration too. Oh and I have no desire to attend the bridal expos either!
My uncle was like “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU AREN’T ON THE KNOT?????????????????” The horror.. To which I did not reply “What do you mean your daughters didn’t go on Offbeat Bride???????????” no because it is conceivable to me that just like in real life people have different tastes…
I wish I’d realized that going to a bridal expo would mean junk mail for the rest of my life. *sigh* Live and learn. But my FMIL was so excited to go and we did have a good time together, so aside from the junk mail I really didn’t mind the expedition. The fashion show had me giggling my head off, though, with some of the choreography they used.
But yes — even my pragmatic, practical mother who almost got married in shorts was for some strange reason appalled that I was thinking of wearing purple shoes!
This was one of the best posts ever! thanks for this, it made me giggle. Good for you! I admire your uniqueness! I have not had this specific interaction but i am right there with you as far as not wanting to fight through those crazy crowds and get hounded for the rest of my life! The biggest issue people have with our wedding so far is that I haven’t asked for any help because unfortunately, I’m a perfectionist and i don’t trust anyone. it’s horrible and I’m going to end up alone, but at least everything will be done my way *joke laugh*
I have bought one bridal magazine, not gone to any bridal expos, and have no idea when William and Kate are even getting married, thank you.
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Ms. Sloth, Philadelphia Age and Occupation: 35, Account Manager and Fashion Blogger Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Design Admin Engagement Date: December 25, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Bartram's Garden About Me: I'm an internet junkie and music snob with a good eye for a bargain. I couldn't live without thrift store shopping, cheeseburgers, sushi, Coke Zero, websites devoted to silly photos of baby animals, Photoshop, and Mr. Sloth. Speaking of which, he and I are a pair of goofball homebody nerds who love our beagle (the most ridiculously adorable dog EVER) to an embarrassing degree. We're planning a low-key and intimate yet festive and quirky outdoor wedding with DIY details and deeply personal touches, and it's all taking place in the city where we fell in love and call home: Philadelphia.
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