Weddingbee Blog

There have been many posts about last-name-changing before this one, and I’m sure there will many more after it. I just wanted to talk about why I’m making the choice I’m making.

I am not changing my last name once Cinnamon Buns and I get married. End of story, that’s it. It was never really a question in my mind, although I did ask Cinnamon Buns what he thought about it. He said, “It’s your name, you should do what you want!”

Now as to the why…well, from the practical side, I have a career in the performing arts (although I don’t perform, I organize the performers). I’m part of a “union” (I think a better word might be “association” actually), and part of that is registering the name you wish to work under. Here is their official blurb:

Under the constitution each member must have a distinct stage name. If a member already uses the professional stage name you wish to use, you will be asked to change your stage name — even if it is your legal name.

So, I’ve obviously already registered my name with them, and there were no conflicts. I wasn’t expecting any conflicts, which brings me to my second reason for not really wanting to change my name:

I have a pretty rare last name. One of those names where no matter where I’ve lived, there’s never been anyone else with the same name in the phone book. Yes, I check that. I remember as a kid when we were on vacation, dad would always check the phone book left in the hotel to see if there were others of us.

It’s one of those names where there was a spelling mistake hundreds of years ago, so there are many people with the original spelling, but very few of us with the “mistake.” I’ve come to love having such individual name (and used to have a collection of all the misspellings sent to us on flyers and catalogues!).

Cinnamon Buns, on the other hand, has one of those names. The type that appears on many pages of the phone book. And as much as I love him, I’m very attached to my unique name! Not to mention that I couldn’t work with my association under Myname Hislastname. There is no way there isn’t someone with that name registered already! And I’m sure there are a bushel of people who have that name, and so added a middle name, or an initial.

I don’t find not changing my name an odd thing at all, possibly because my mum never did. She didn’t mind if things came in the mail to her with dad’s last name on them, she didn’t mind if that was the name people called her—her home business when I was a kid was named after dad’s last name! But legally, and on documents like passports and such, she still uses her maiden name.

I’m quite happy to do the same thing my mum did in that situation, and I’m lucky that Cinnamon Buns thinks it is OK too. He doesn’t have the same last name as his mum (his parents divorced when he was little, his mum remarried and took the new name, but didn’t change his) so he doesn’t think it weird that he and I won’t have the same last name.

That said, I really don’t mind if people start calling me Mrs Hislastname! I’m sure it will be exciting! That just isn’t going to be reflected on any legal paperwork for me.

What about you? How unique is your current or new last name?