Please Don’t Let Me Be Ugly

Please Don’t Let Me Be Ugly

February 8th, 2011 @ 9:12 am by Mrs. Meerkat
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So it’s time for one of those honesty in blogging moments.

All during our wedding planning, one of my biggest fears was that I would be ugly in our wedding photos. No, this isn’t a tell-Mrs.-Meerkat-she’s-not-a-ugo post. This is one of those let’s-be-realistic posts.

When you spend so much time looking at photos of GORGEOUS brides on wedding blogs there is a standard that gets set in the back of your mind. I don’t even know when the standard got set for me but now when I look at some of our wedding photos, I think, “I don’t look like those brides I see on blogs.”

The photo on the left is pretty much what I look like any day of the week. That is average ol’ Meerkat for ya, which I am totally cool with. But then I look at the photo on the right. While it still kind of looks like me, it’s not the image I had in my head of what bride me should look like.

I know I am being way harder on myself than I should. As I look through the photos people took, they are not all bad. Some of them look amazing. Now that should make me happy, right?

My Weddingbee hero, Mrs. Hot Wings, said it best in her post about her gummy smile. Since there is nothing she can do about her smile, she is simply accepting the fact that this is just the way things are. So I am going to take a page from the book of Hot Wings and do the same thing. I am going to let go and just accept that I will not look like some drool-worthy bride modeling for a wedding blog. Instead, I will simply look like me. And you know what? I think that’s enough.

Does anyone else ever feel like this?

Tags: beauty, riviera-maya |

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38 Responses to “Please Don’t Let Me Be Ugly”

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Member

ktisthatbees (message) 2,742 posts, Sugar bee

Hop on the bandwagon Meerkat, cause I feel the same. I’m worried about feeling less than my imagined bride self, which is such a slippery slope as our imaginations tend to run a little on the un-realistic side

For the record, I think you look radiant on your wedding day

2/8/11 @ 9:23 am (reply)

Member

PitBulLover (message) 8,314 posts, Bee Keeper

I know exactly what you mean. I did feel beautiful on my wedding day but in seeing some photos I dont feel like I looked liked what I expected to. Even months later I look at pictures and think “my hair looks too tight” or “my makeup came off - why didnt anyone tell me to reapply my blush!” You are right though - theres nothing we can do, so we just have to accept. And for the record - I think you look beautiful in both of the above pictures!

2/8/11 @ 9:26 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Lox (message) 1,128 posts, Bumble bee

Meerkat, I think this is a pretty brave post and I’m glad you wrote it. I think some of us (*ahem* me) think this problem is unique to them. And it’s helpful to know everyone faces it. Even ladies who are clearly gorgeous, like you and Hot Wings!

2/8/11 @ 9:30 am (reply)

Member

Cotton (message) 367 posts, Helper bee

I think you look beautiful in both pictures and I would rather see a real bride who looks girl-next-door-beautiful than a grumpy slouchy airbrushed model who is unobtainable “perfect beauty”.
I am so glad you talked about this. The same fears were bothering me too. I feel so much better when I learn that some of my fears are common among other girls on the bee as well.

2/8/11 @ 9:30 am (reply)

Guest

Jen

The best compliment I got on my wedding day was “You look so beautiful and you look just like you.” I told me that I didn’t overdo it with the hair, the makeup and the dress. I was so pleased!

2/8/11 @ 9:35 am (reply)

Member

ChillyBear (message) 175 posts, Blushing bee

something similar happened to me too… I was very pleased with my over all wedding “look” but i dont find myself to be very photogenic. First I saw grainy facebook pictures i consoled myself that the professional pics would be much better. I got 1700 pictures from my photographer and probably 75% featured me. As i was looking at them, I started to get discouraged that there were some really unflattering photos of me. (other people probably would have thought they were fine or even great photos - but we’re always harder on ourselves) Once i edited it down and took out the unflattering pics I was much much happier with how i looked that day

2/8/11 @ 9:40 am (reply)

Member

rachiecakes (message) 737 posts, Busy bee

oh yes!
and honestly, I don’t have any photos of me in my wedding dress that I love and think, “wow, I look great here.” But that said, I look happy - scrunching eyes/nose and all those teeth - and I love that I look really happy in the photos I have. I’ve never been comfortable doing portraits and you can tell in the photos, haha
You have a gorgeous smile and I’m sure all dolled up in all these things you’ve been planning for months and months, you’ll feel so beautiful and love how you look in the photos.

2/8/11 @ 9:44 am (reply)

Member

Bubu82 (message) 1,223 posts, Bumble bee

I bet Mr. Meerkat loved that you looked like *you* on the big day, instead of some fakey, overly-done model. I think you look beautiful!

2/8/11 @ 9:55 am (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Rainbow (message) 1,535 posts, Bumble bee

I’m right there with you, lady! This is really embarrassing, but I actually cried not one, not two, but THREE times after we got our wedding photos back because I thought I looked like a big, ugly cow and I didn’t want to have to post the photos on the blog. It’s sad how much pressure brides have to look perfect!

2/8/11 @ 9:57 am (reply)

10.

Member

soon2Bfournames (message) 87 posts, Worker bee

@ ChillyBear - I had similar feelings towards my engagement photos. Once I weeded out the unflattering ones I felt much better about the whole package.

Thanks for keeping it real, Meerkat! I will keep this in mind as the day approaches.

2/8/11 @ 10:00 am (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

I felt like this too! When I got my photos back, I started second-guessing all my decisions regarding my hair, make-up and even dress! Should’ve had a pro do my hair, should’ve had a make-up artist do my make-up, should’ve gone with a more flattering dress, etc, etc…But as time goes by, I’m pretty much over it now so I think once you have more distance between your wedding and you, you’ll feel better!

2/8/11 @ 10:05 am (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Brooch (message) 1,721 posts, Bumble bee

This is such an honest and real post Meerkat and I’m so glad you wrote it! I think you’re going to get a lot of feedback from brides that feel the same - looks like you already have! It’s so easy to second guess ourselves, right? Especially when it comes to a big important event like your wedding! I agree with the others that looking like you is way better than looking like someone else and especially look too done up! I think you look amazing in photo #1 & #2, by the way!

2/8/11 @ 10:38 am (reply)

13.

Member

southerntransplant (message) 300 posts, Helper bee

Thank you for writing this! For the record, I think you look gorgeous in both pics

But I do feel like I don’t “look like” all those brides featured in blogs, or that I myself won’t be “blog-worthy.” Just going to have to get over that feeling.

2/8/11 @ 10:39 am (reply)

14.

Member

CantWaittillMAY (message) 768 posts, Busy bee

When I really happy, I smile really big ( like how I plan on smiling on my wedding day), and my top lip disappears. Ha! I am glad to know I am not the only one who has “photo phobias”.

2/8/11 @ 11:02 am (reply)

15.

Member

heather25 (message) 2,355 posts, Buzzing bee

@Mrs. Rainbow: Stop right there! I personally thought your pictures were absolutely stunning. Sexy, classic and downright gorg.

2/8/11 @ 11:10 am (reply)

16.

Member

heather25 (message) 2,355 posts, Buzzing bee

Meerkat. You look pretty photogenic to me. The blog wedding pics are the product of good makeup and lighting. Just wait til all those elements are in place at your wedding. You will be amazing!

2/8/11 @ 11:12 am (reply)

17.

Member

heather25 (message) 2,355 posts, Buzzing bee

Um and meerkat, ignore my last post. Apparently, I missed your “I got married post.”

2/8/11 @ 11:15 am (reply)

18.

Member

CupCakeMeg (message) 3,590 posts, Sugar bee

Thanks for hitting the nail on the head for me. I know Im not a “Magazine Bride” but I hope my happiness and joy BEAMS for me!!

I loved your honest post as well as Mrs. Hot Wings! I read that a while back and it was so relieving!

2/8/11 @ 11:41 am (reply)

19.

Member

sparks (message) 649 posts, Busy bee

This is definitely one of my fears lead up to the wedding. So many blogs feature models or women who could be models that it is easy to feel that you have to have a certain look in your own pictures.
One of the many reasons I love this sight is the focus on real brides who have different styles and looks, yet are all beautiful. I find it so refreshing.

You look gorgeous by the way, can’t wait to see all your recaps!

2/8/11 @ 11:43 am (reply)

20.

Guest

Lorne Chesal

Please allow a photographer’s perspective on this…

First… in my experience, *all* brides are beautiful. That’s not me just blowing smoke up your dress. I truly believe that and see it at each of my weddings.
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The key is letting yourself enjoy your celebration. Allowing yourself and choosing to get to the part of your day where you are genuinely engaged and feeling the “love in the room”. Each of you will get there a different way.
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And this I believe is where an experienced photographer will stand apart from others. Please note I say experienced, not expensive. They aren’t necessarily the same.
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The extra cost in using an experienced photographer will be seen in your pictures. You will be less worried about how the pictures will turn out because of their experience. You will see that in your pictures.
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An experienced photographer knows how to use light and posing to make you look your best at all times, under any conditions. Flash or natural, light is *the* key element in a flattering picture. And the subject’s attitude/confidence.
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When you stalk the blogs and look at those amazing images, isn’t that what you’re seeing? Great lighting. Natural poses. Subjects who look genuinely happy and confident.
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That is what experience brings to the table. Most of the energy I spend before the wedding day is instilling a level of confidence in my abilities. This way, my couple are able to concentrate on each other and live their lives, knowing I’ll get the pictures, and they will look great.
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2/8/11 @ 11:50 am (reply)

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