Weddingbee Blog

and that secret is…

*wait for it*

…we don’t have a budget for the wedding.

OK, now that you all officially think I’m nutzo, I will elaborate with a delightful back story.

I remember looking at my college acceptances almost 8 years ago (wow, that’s a long time!). I was that crazy girl who applied to 13 schools. While I didn’t get into every school I applied to, I got into enough and had to do some thinking. My parents, however, felt the choice was clear.

OK, cool, I could definitely deal with that. So I went to undergrad, learned a bunch of cool shizz, joined a sorority, learned how to cox a boat, and got into dental school. Oh, and I graduated with 0 debt. My parents are awesome.

Then I went to dental school, where I am hanging out now, and I am still debt free and will be when I graduate because my parents are still awesome.

This is a double edged sword, though. I live with my family, as I can’t justify having them spend extra money on an apartment when I live in town. I drive the family’s rejected car, a 2004 Chevrolet Failblazer with extended cab. My parents see every transaction I make, so I always try to spend responsibly, or I get that lovely call from my mother around the fifteenth of every month. It’s super scary.

Somewhere along this timeline I got engaged. And since my parents are still bankrolling my life, they got stuck bankrolling the wedding. Well, actually, they chose to. I was originally all about waiting to get married until after I graduated and could throw my own shindig, but my parents wanted none of that for some reason. They also seemed to forget that whole you-must-have-an-inexpensive-wedding-thing once the guest list rose to astronomic levels.

So, I was engaged and had started the planning process. This was about the time I should have had a heart to heart with my mother about what the budget was, right? Well, here’s the thing. That never happened. Since I’m awkward, instead of starting the dialogue about money, I just avoided eye contact when we talked about different venues. It also didn’t help that my family considers talking about money to be the equivalent of mentioning Voldemort in Hogwarts.

source

Once we found where our reception was going to be held, instead of my mother saying, “Oh, why yes, this will fit into our budget,” she said, “OK. We can do that.”

In fact, “OK. We can do that.” has become the mantra of the wedding. I try to find affordable stuff and I generally get that reply from her. I feel like it should become a subtitle to our wedding.

So, while I am not a budget bride in the truest sense of the term, I consider myself a frugal bride. We have a set price per person for our reception and it includes everything, including the cake. I bought a reasonably priced gown. Well, reasonably priced for a wedding gown. Save for a few splurges, we’ve been trying to hire moderately priced vendors and purchase inexpensive raw materials for all of my DIY projects.

I know that many people don’t agree with the way my family handled my education nor my expenses, but I think I turned out OK. I am cognizant about what I spend, and I am fully aware of the ramifications of rampant credit card spending and the importance of being a fiscally responsible individual. I may not be the most self-sufficient 24 year old around, but I’m trying. And I’ll get there.

Do I feel guilty that I received an incredibly expensive 8 years of higher education as well as a large wedding? Of course. But I have to remind myself that I offered to postpone the wedding, and my parents wanted to throw this for me. It’s not going to be a Platinum Wedding, but it’s going to be nice and not too much. They also wanted me to have a nice jump start to my future by ensuring that I graduate debt free. And I’ll take that over a $20,000 wedding gown and BMW any day. Well, maybe. BMWs are pretty sweet.

source

Is anyone else in an interesting budget situation? Does anyone want to abolish the term budget bride and replace it with frugal?