Weddingbee Blog

I just want to pause before I dive into the rest of my wedding recaps, because here is where things get a little hard for me.

It’s been 4 months since our wedding day, and the sting has mostly lessened for both me and Mr. Socks in regard to how his family treated us that day.

I remember on our honeymoon, Mr. Socks and I were so devastated by the wedding that we predicted we would have a pretty crappy first three months of marriage while we healed. We thought that something so huge would stay with us and weigh on us almost every day for months and months. I’m happy to report that the first four months of our marriage have been very happy and not at all as stressful as we thought it would be. We have basically picked ourselves up and moved on with our lives, which feels pretty awesome.

That’s not to say that we don’t still think about what happened and that we aren’t hurt by his family, because really, the fact that our relationship with them has been forever changed as a result of their behavior isn’t something we’re likely to forget. We still talk about the situation, but instead of hot, angry tears flowing, we mostly just shake our heads in disappointment and disbelief.

I think I wanted to pause here to write this and say that even though this huge party feels like the biggest part of your life and that part of your relationship might be defined by how wonderful/amazing/kick-ass it is, the more important part of your life is to come. This feels so cliche and overused that I almost feel like rolling my eyes at myself, but ohmigod it’s so true. I didn’t entirely see that before the wedding or when I was on my honeymoon, and I don’t think I realized it even when I came back and wrote this post about our  wedding. I don’t think I even fully realize it now, but I’m getting a better idea of how amazing life after the wedding is every day.

Now that I have some distance to it, I realize I can look back on part of my wedding fondly, that I can wish it had gone better, but I also realize that our lives are so much more fulfilling now than before the wedding. We lived in “high-stress mode” for over a year while we tried to please my in-laws and tried to deal with their threats. Without that stress, Mr. Socks and I feel much more free to make our own decisions and conduct our lives the way that suits us and that benefits our family. In short, life after the wedding is much more amazing than I would have thought possible even a few months ago.

Yes, I’m still hurt and I still feel like I was robbed of a large part of my wedding day, and more than that, Mr. Socks was robbed of a sense of safety and acceptance by his family that everyone deserves. But I’m not going to let that effect the rest of our marriage more than what we can control. Cuz, you know, this marriage is gonna last forever and all, and it’s stupid to let one day effect forever.

With that said, I’ll start on the second part of my recaps. I know that in some of my reception photos, it looks like I’m having the time of my life, but many of my smiles were lies to the camera. I don’t look at all of my pictures with happiness in this section because I know many of them were in between sobs and that some were after we had to ask Mr. Socks’ family to leave.

Mrs. Socks’ thought for the day: If something little or big goes wrong with your wedding, take the time you need to mull it over, even mourn it, but then refocus the energy you spend on those hurt feelings into making your marriage that much better. It’ll be much more satisfying in the long run, even if you feel like the only way to feel better is revenge.