Weddingbee Blog

*guest photos*

Our guest list grew as the day progressed. Our tea ceremony had about 50 guests, our civil ceremony about 80, and our dinner reception would be about 270 strong. We wanted to keep our speeches relatively intimate. If you’ve been to a large Vietnamese reception, you have also probably witnessed the lack of attention paid to the Best Man and Woman of Honor when they give their speeches. To avoid this situation and maintain respect for our bestie’s speeches, we had them immediately following the civil ceremony. It was an AWESOME decision.

To tide people over, we provided grapes and almond champagne. Recall that I had actually envisioned using cherries as our post-ceremony snack. We used grapes because they were in season. The green better matched our color scheme, so it was a win-win situation.

*two right photos by guest*

For this post, I am going to change up the format a little. I would like to share the story behind our besties’ speeches in the form of a How To Guide for Future Best Men and Women of Honor. Hopefully, this format will do justice to our besties’ speeches and give a couple pointers for future speakers.

*guest photo*

• Screw the “traditional” order and let the besties decide their order preference. It’s hard enough to feel the pressure of giving a speech at a bestie’s wedding. A small amount of control can help to relieve the anxiety. Hottie of Honor wanted to go first.

• Think about what you want to say ahead of time. You can memorize the speech like Hottie did. (She memorized her ENTIRE speech! Can you believe that? Incredible. I’m dying to hear her speech again. She hand wrote her speech, so I don’t have a copy of it. I’m embarrassed to say that I don’t recall all the details. Arg, yet another reason to have a video camera on hand. Photos are wonderful, but they don’t capture the moving words that are spoken) Alternatively, you can have it on paper as a guide as our Best Man did. The point is that it cuts the nerves if you have thought about it and know what you’re going to say.

• Speak to the couple AND the audience. Remember that your audience includes both the couple and their wedding guests. See these photos? Both besties did it flawlessly. They wrote parts of their speech to the guests and parts of their speech to us. You can tell in the preceding photos by when they looked at the audience versus when they looked at us.

• Start by telling everyone how you know the couple. Give it a personal touch.

Hottie of Honor told our guests that we met each other in the UCLA dorms when I burned popcorn. It was love at first smell, I guess. Our Best Man told our guests that he’s Mr Hot Wings’ twin brother and that it took Mr Hot Wings getting married to admit that he was in fact the “best” man of the two of them.

• Say something nice about the couple that mentions their past, present, and future. Bonus points if you can incorporate funny stories. Hottie of Honor made everyone laugh when she discussed the ways that we take care of the other. She told everyone about our shared home office and how I no longer have my lunch in front of the computer because I know “eating noises” really bother Mr Hot Wings. Those that know Mr Hot Wings’ quirks about these noises burst out laughing! And I do mean BURST.

Clearly, Mr Hot Wings was a tad embarrassed. It was beautifully placed embarrassment.

• Best Man welcomed me into the family by telling everyone how I have embraced the family togetherness. For example, I can jump right in with the raking leaves and pulling weeds in the garden.

*guest photo*

Our Best Men continued to say nice things…

“Mr Hot Wings, you’re my best friend. You always have been. You always will be. You pursue your goals in a way that stands out among your peers, without having to stand above them. You pursue things with zeal, but always in a way that not only commands respect but that is also respectful. As I am sure your friends, relatives and colleagues will agree, your consideration and fairness in dealing with others is unmatched. It’s all these things that make you not only a great brother, but someone who I know will be a kind, committed, and loving husband.”

• End by toasting the couple. Ask everyone to raise their glass, clink-clink-clink, and drink it down.

As a guest, sometimes it’s hard to know when you’re allowed to drink the bubbly. Getting to raise your glass gives people the go ahead to chug the bubbly!

• Then hug.it.out!

It meant the world to Mr Hot Wings and me that our speeches were so incredibly personal and thoughtful! Thank you both of you. We feel so special and loved. To those of you trying to write a speech, know that it’s a true honor to have you say anything nice about the couple. It’s an honor to just have you by our side on our wedding day.

What other advice can we add in the comments for people writing speeches?

*All photos by the ever fab Hanssie Trainor unless noted otherwise*

Do you need to catch up with the hotness?

• Check out our Same Day Edit Wedding Video
• Guest arrived, we had a welcome reception
• Rehearsed, rehearsal dinner (part 1, part 2), Wedding Eve
• Got Ready (Women, Men, Wedding Party Gifts)
• Tea Ceremony (Prep, Details, Processional Gifts, Processional, Lunch)
• Formals (Men, Women, Families, Kids, Wedding Party)
• First Look
• Civil Ceremony (Details, Jitters, Processional, Part I, Love Letter & Wine Box, Part II, Post Recessional)