Weddingbee Blog

Right. So there will be no bouquet or garter tossing at the PDog wedding, unless it’s an impromptu, mob-of-guests-demand-it, go-with-the-flow, wedding-juju kind of thing. If guests are dying to see this tradition occur, I’m not opposed to it. But I’m definitely not planning on it.

(Though it does make for a cute photo op, no?)

At the risk of being flayed, I’m going to be really honest about why the bouquet toss was lose-lose/awkward for me when I was very-committed but not-yet-engaged. By no means am I trying to talk any of you out of the tosses; they’re festive and traditional and the right choice for some people. But not for us, as follows:

If I did get into the game enthusiastically and really make a play for the bouquet…

At first, I was all about it.

I love flowers; I also enjoy winning…but I apparently looked like I was desperate to get married. Now, I don’t really care about that, but Mr. PD did. He later admitted to me that people playfully jabbed him the ribs afterward, saying—better get on that ring, buddy. Or, hey PDog, somebody’s chomping at the bit. When in reality, it was me who didn’t want to get engaged until I moved to Cincinnati. So he felt like people saw him as the dragging his feet, unwilling to commit boyfriend when it was totally the opposite. He laughs that stuff off but it really was a sore spot, so it still felt unfair to him. No bueno.

If I stood there obviously not trying that hard to catch the bouquet…

I (apparently) came off as bitter-that-I’m-not-engaged/married girl. OR people read it as not wanting to get married to my then-boyfriend (now fiance, almost husband). And people STILL gave PDog a hard time, about both interpretations of my behavior. (I guess this is just what happens when you’ve been together for a bazillion years.)

I think the bouquet toss is an all-in-good-fun thing, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I just know my girlfriends who will be at this wedding, and I know for a fact that it makes some of them/their partners uncomfortable, as it once did for us. When I said I probably wouldn’t do it, one of my besties had this look on her face like I had gifted her a week’s vacation in St. Barts. So, for them and for my former self, that bouquet is mine all mine. Or maybe I’ll give it to my grandma or something.

As for the garter toss?

Imma play it straight with you. I don’t necessarily want PDog all up in my dress business in front of my impressionable, young cousins. Or my dad or brother or grandpa. Or anyone. Again, I think it’s cringe-worthy/hilarious at other weddings and, believe me, we’re all about the fun times and rowdiness. But he doesn’t want to root through my underthings while cheered on by people who held me when I was an infant. That, I think, is fair.

So, skipping the tosses and instead having our loved ones compete shamelessly in a one-song dance competition. Huzzah!

Whaddya say, hive? Yay or nay to the tosses and why? At the very least, do you get my reasons?