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When we got engaged, the Baconator was 24 and I was 25, but we’ve been skirting the issue of getting married for years now. What stopped us? Money? Responsibility? Lack of Big Kid Jobs? Nope, just that pesky idea that we were too young to make that kind of decision. No one ever said those words to us, but we were thinking it. I went to college out East where people get married a bit older than the national average, so the idea of tying the knot in my early twenties was out of the question. The Baconator, on the other hand, is born and raised in Southern Indiana, where the national average wedding age is pretty much average in town. We’re not talking cradle robbing here; just getting married after college graduation. No biggie.
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For some reason, though, I couldn’t get past a couple of years. I knew we were in love and that we were in it for the long haul, but I wanted to wait until some arbitrary magic age.
I didn’t want people to think we were young and irresponsible and rushing into things. After talking over the pros and cons of putting it off with the Baconator, getting promoted at work, adopting a kitten, a million other things on that “to do before we’re adult enough to get married” check list (and the discovery of WE’s Wedding Sunday) I got the itch for a certain sparkly piece of jewelry and wedding magazines. So we bit the bullet, asked my parents for permission and were engaged within a few months.
Then you know what? As soon as we got engaged, it seemed like everyone we knew was getting engaged, too! By the end of the summer, we knew seven newly engaged couples! I sometimes wonder if those couples were like us, just waiting to hit our mid-twenties before planning a wedding or if it was that they were waiting until another milestone like a big promotion or graduating grad school or moving in together.
I realized immediately that it was silly to wait as long as we did to get engaged. The bearded Baconator is pretty much everything I’ve ever wanted in a guy and we are that weird kind of crazy in love; waiting a month or a year didn’t do anything to change that. All those “people” I was worried about were thrilled that we were finally tying the knot and couldn’t understand what took us so long!
Did you and your FI decide to wait to get engaged? What were your reasons?
was actually nice to read a post about this worry. I have sometimes wondered how people see Mr. Rabbit and I for getting married at 23/24. Everyone seems super excited but, still in grad school, I thought they’d think we were rushing. But when you know, you know.
No one was engaged in our age group and then EVERYONE was. 23/24/25 seemed to be the magical age that it suddenly became “acceptable” and then everyone and I mean EVERYONE got engaged.
To make the waiting game easier on me I just started counting how many engagements happened. I got up to TEN couples before we got engaged, and then I stopped counting. It has easily doubled since then.
Thanks for this post! My fiancé and I are both 22 but have been together since we were 16. I had some of those feelings initially too and think it was more worrying about what other people would think. Similar to you, when we told our families they were thrilled! It is interesting to think about. I think I sort of had a number in my head as well which coincided with us both graduating and getting jobs. I think every couple is different and you have to do what works for you. I`m not the type who ever wanted to date a lot. I found the person I want to be with and that`s that. 
My FI and I met late in life - he was 28 and I was 27. We actually met at a wedding! During our “courtship” we have been to 18 weddings together! So - yeah - we were at that magic age when all of our friends were getting engaged and married. Needless to say - we got asked A LOT of times - “so are you guys next!?”
I’m 23, and my fiance is 27. Nearly all of our friends his age have gotten married in the past two years, so between 25-27, while none of our friends my age are even engaged.
I have wondered before if people were/are just waiting for the sake of waiting until they were/are past 25. Not that there is anything wrong with that at all, but I’m all about “get married when you want to get married, when you know you’re committed to this person for the rest of your life and when it feels right.”
Now, I personally wanted to have my college degree and a steady job before we got hitched (which is in less than three months now). And before I started dating my fiance, I never would have thought I’d be getting married “young.” I still don’t think I am.
Am I on the young-ish side compared to the national average? Sure. Am I “too young?” Heck no. Some of my fiance’s friends are “too young,” and they’re close to 30. Nothing wrong with that either, it’s just about when you’re emotionally ready!
I am 23 and FI is 27 and we have been together 4 years. I an so thankful to hear of someone who wishes they didn’t wait. We knew we were going to get married and all we could think was ” why wait to start the rest of our lives”. Now obviously FI is at the “normal” age but I was told multiple times I am too young. Thanks for writing about this topic- it makes me truly realize we are doing what is right for us not what everyone else thinks is right.
Thank you for this. I’m not so much worried by the age we’re getting married, more the age we met. I was 21 and he was 22. My last first kiss was at age 21. It’s just strange to me. I never pictured even getting married in my 20s. We’re taking it slow too, and will have been engaged for 30 months, which helps, but I haven’t gotten to the “Of course it doesn’t matter” epiphany yet, and I’m not sure I ever will. I don’t know how to explain it other than that I’ve always seen myself as fiercely independent.
It’s so weird - while my FI was proposing, the thought running through my head (other than YES!) was how *young* I felt. I’m 24, and will be 25 when we marry, but at that point in time I felt like a kid pretending to be a grown-up. Silly, right?
it’s really interesting to hear this perspective, and i’m glad that things worked out for you two when things felt right.
I think it’s really, really, really smart to wait a while until you get engaged…I don’t really see the point of getting married young!
All of our friends are married or have been married and now divorced. The engagement didn’t come till later. Anytime sooner would not have worked for us. For us waiting and maturing and growing together was the best decision. Anytime sooner would not have worked. Regardless of how in love we may have been.
As a northeast chick, I advocate for waiting, which is definitely the norm here. None of my friends got married before the age of 25, and that still sounds fairly young to me! I just can’t identify with the “why wait” argument. I think people here want to do and experience a lot, invest time in their careers and get some stability and financial security, and live as an independent adult for awhile, even if they are dating someone at the time.
A good reason to wait? People who get married before 25 are statistically much more likely to divorce. You change so much in your early 20s as you transition to adulthood. The older you are, the better you know yourself, the more life experience you have, and if you have spent more time dating your partner, there are less surprises you will find later on. If you think you are too young, you probably are.
Everyone is different, and I know that for some couples getting married young works out very well. But I will maintain that you are in a much better position financially and emotionally and you will have more realistic expectations of marriage if you wait a bit. And yes, I waited a long time –got engaged after 7 years of dating. We just weren’t ready much before that. I got married at 32.
I had some of those same concerns when we first started talking of marriage, we’re both 21 now, but both of our families were so excited for us. We know that we’re made for each other, and both of our families agree. We’ve been together since we were 16 and before we were engaged, there were many occasions where we were asked when we would be tying the knot.
i can support getting married young or older…every couple and every relationship is unique and if it feels right at whatever age, I say go for it!
I believe age is only a number. I know lots of people who waited to get married, then reached a certain age and married as soon as possible because they felt old. Then later they got divorced in a few years. Same with young couples rushing to get married. Instead I’ve found that people who get married because they are in love and feel ready are the ones that make out the best. I always get frustrated when someone says “__” is the right age, since everyone is different and develops differently. What works for one might not work for another. As for me I’ll be 24 when I get married and I couldn’t be happier (we find it funny that we’ve been actually been together longer than most of our older married friends who rushed to get married right before they turned 30).
We waited, at first it was because i wanted to be out of college before we got engaged, then i wanted to wait until we were more secure in my career, then we had some relationship issues to work out, now almost 10 years later we’re finally ready to say I do. Every couple has their own natural time line and this was ours.
I hear ya, but not as much with the waiting to get hitched part.
For my sitch, it sounds a lot more like how I felt earlier in career land, when people just wouldn’t take me seriously. In any case, it is not the age, it’s the miles!
It sounds like you made a good decision, but like you said, the waiting didn’t change anything! What a great topic to touch on, though, Bacon!
My FI and I met when we were 18, and we always talked about how we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Part of me wanted to get engaged right after college, but then I realized that my FI wasn’t ready. We live in NYC where is seems like even 25 is young! We lived together after college for 2 years before he proposed. It all worked out!
In my opinion, it’s really about when the couple feels ready - although the environment you’re in affects how you feel!
Interesting issue to bring up - thanks Miss Bacon!
Mr. H and I started dating when I was only 21, and he was 27. By the time we got married, I was almost 27, and he was 32. 21 would have definitely felt like too young, but by 23 or 24, I knew it was an invevitability. But we still weren’t quite ready until I was 25, and he was 31!
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Mrs. Bacon, Chicago Age and Occupation: 26, Digital Advertising Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, IT Client Services Engagement Date: June 17, 2010 Wedding Date: September 2011 Venue: Ravenswood Billboard Factory About Me: I'm a Midwestern girl that can't seem to commit to staying in one place for too long and is constantly daydreaming about my next adventure. I am an aspiring foodie with a weak spot for the unusual and I love semi-reality food television. My other loves easily include laughing as a form of exercise, a book that I can't put down, summer baseball games, espresso with whipped cream, couch potato days and nights with the ridiculous Mr. Bacon, and our two kitties, Lincoln and Sawyer. We're planning a faux-destination wedding for 150 of our closest friends and family in the city we've both adopted as home that has a modern, yet whimsical twist and as many personal touches as we can manage.
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