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I think the tradition of the bride and groom (or bride and bride or groom and groom!) spending the night before their wedding apart is really sweet. Even if the couple has been living together, I think there’s something really sweetly symbolic about spending their last night as an unmarried person with their family or close friends. For me, it would have been a great way of acknowledging the ties I have with my family. I’m sure it would have also heightened my anticipation for the next day.
However, for us this was not to be. I briefly considered this idea and then realized logistically it wouldn’t really work for us, but more importantly, emotionally there was no way I could deal with that. Despite how much I loved our wedding and how much fun I had working on it, our wedding and the lead up to it was really stressful for me to the extent that I feel I’ve almost recovered now two months later. I was by no means a crazy stress monster, but I was definitely feeling a slow build up of stress, as well as night before jitters.
Mr. Knitting is my absolute best emotional support and to have spent the night before our wedding without him would have been a terrible idea for me. I don’t think he would have been too happy about it either, although he might have been a bit more stoic about it than I would have been. We really needed each other there to keep each other calm and happy. I also had the sense that even though lots of other people have been married, he was really the only person would understood what I was experiencing (which is sort of true in that we were the only bride and groom of our wedding!).
Two months later, I have no idea what we did the night before our wedding after we got home from our yoga class, but I definitely know that spending the night together was the right choice for us. We may have watched an episode of the Daily Show, complained about family members (not any of you who read this!), played on our computers separately (because we’re really romantic), or spent some time talking about the next day. Whatever it was, it was a good idea. I would have felt very alone and probably a bit scared if I had spent the night away from him, no matter whom I had stayed with.
How did/do you plan to spend the night before your wedding?
I think it’s cute when couples spend the night before the wedding together :). That’s got to be a really special and sweet time. FI and I don’t live together yet, though, so last night I just asked my cousin to spend the night with me before it to commemorate our decades of sleepovers. We might even break out Lord of the Rings :).
We did the traditional Bridal pick up the morning of so the night before we stayed apart because of that. He stayed in our hotel room while a GM/husband of MOH crashed in the room with him. My MOH stayed with me at my family’s home in NYC. There was a sense of anticipation, I guess? The girls were busy assembling flowers/bouts while the boys were drinking at the lounge even tho I gave them all specific instructions to get their 7-8 hrs! Oh well. I knew they wouldn’t listen anyway. 
I think whatever works for the couple is good!
I agree and think it’s sweet you spent the night before together. We were apart where I made my veil and finished my bouquets while he fell asleep pretty early. I know because we were in cabins next door to each other.
i’m afraid we are not really sentimental or romantic, so it never even occurred to us to do the spend the night apart reunite in the morning thing (although now that i write that, “romantic” could also mean spending the night together). it felt more natural and easier to spend the night together.
We live together now and we’re going to spend the night before our wedding apart. I think it gives the first look that much more of a special meaning because he won’t see me for at least 12 hours before. We’re pretty inseparable so it will be hard to not cuddle the night before though!
Once when I was a bridesmaid, the couple tried to do this - the bride was in our “bridesmaids’ room” and the groom had a room with the groomsmen. (It was an out-of-town wedding).
In the middle of the night, the bride got sad and went to go sleep in the grooomsmens room with her fiance’….so it was her, the FI, and the other guys in the room……we bridesmaids were like, “umm should the groomsmen come in here then??” Was *really* awkward.
So…yeah, if you think you will do this, just arrange to stay together and for other people to have separate accommodations. We all felt guilty somehow that the couple couldn’t stay by themselves.
Thats really cute that you guys stayed together before your wedding! It seems like it was the right choice for you! We slept apart - me in a house with my mom and 3 best girlfriends and him in a house with all of his groomsmen. I’m glad we did it this way because for us it built up a lot of the anticipation for the next day. It was also nice to have a night apart to really weigh on what was happening the next day. The only time I actually missed him was when I woke up by myself - I wanted him to be there to be excited with me!
We were going to spend the night apart until I had my first stressful family related wedding moment. Then we decided with two divorced sets of parents, there’s a good chance we will need an escape from our families. We love them all very much but having them all together is stressful. So we will be spending the night before our wedding together, hopefully having a relaxing night like you described.
We spent it together and I would not have done it any other way! In fact, we were together the day of the wedding until about four hours prior, when I went to start getting ready and it was awesome!
We spent it together, but stayed at my grandma’s house (two of my aunts and my mother were there, too). It gave us a chance to be with my family (and minimize a logistical nightmare on the day-of), but we were still able to be together the night before. 
Mr. FT and I are spending it separately - not by choice, but because of our culture. Although I don’t mind either.. distance makes the heart grow fonder
We were supposed to spend the night apart, however when we stopped by our room for him to pick up his clothes for the next day I broke in tears. I called my mom and sis to ask if they were ok with not spending the night with me and that was it! We spent the night together, his family got a bit miffed about it, but I didn’t care one bit 
Yes…while a sweet idea to keep w. the tradition of this..my FI and I aren’t going along with it either.
My dad, sister and her FI are staying at our house 2 days before the wedding too and it just works for us that way and all wanting to spend time together - as my FI and father have never met (and it’s been a long time since my sister’s FI has seen him), so it just is going to work for us to spend the night together in our own room at our house.
I second that! So glad we were able to spend the night before the wedding together. I was a total chillaxed bride because there was no he can’t see me the morning of sillyness.
p.s. hmm..that sounded weird to me…so to clarify…the other guests will be staying in other parts of the house..not our room. haha
I’m trying to decide right now! It’s my FI’s birthday the night before the wedding. The more I think about it, the more I want to stay with him for your same reasons.
We are kinda of opposite. We always assumed we would stay apart (I guess for tradition’s sake), but reading how everyone really enjoyed staying with their SO, I am considering it now. I agree with you, too, that I’ll need the emotional support, for sure!
We’re going to be staying apart, but we’re going to do a first look. So if there’s any last minute stress/nerves/anxiety, that should get rid of it. hopefully!
I’m spending the night before our wedding in a B&B that’s down the road from our wedding venue. He’s going to be staying at home. He doesn’t want to see me until I walk down the aisle, and I think that’s really sweet. :):)
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Mrs. Knitting, Toronto Age and Occupation: 24, Student Recruitment Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Neuroscience PhD Candidate Engagement Date: October 2009 Wedding Date: December 2010 Venue: University of Toronto Faculty Club About Me: I'm a pearl wearing, etiquette book reading Toronto girl who loves cooking and baking, museums, charm bracelets, and collecting books on Jackie Kennedy (a lot). I've been known to spend Sunday mornings at the antique market, Wednesday evenings at sister sushi dinners, and any bit of spare time reading. After six and a half years of many late night walks, watching DVDs together in bed, travelling to places like New York, and Tobermory, doing Sudokus together on the couch, lots of Indian food, the occasional yoga class, moving in together and so much more, Mr. Knitting and I are planning a cozy Christmasy (it's a word!), vintage wedding in Toronto complete with many DIY projects (eek!) and lots of help from our amazing group of family and friends.
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