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Mrs. Lox, Baltimore Age and Occupation: 33, Government Worker Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35. IT Consultant Engagement Date: May 8, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Vandiver Inn About Me: I’m an East Coast gal born and bred and a suburban brat turned city rat for the last year. Now Mr. Lox and I enjoy walking all kinds of places, having the coolest things around in our backyard, and especially our garage parking. I love gadgets, toys, Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream, monkeys, and our insane cats. I’m a blonde by birth and a redhead by choice. I’m that girl in the cubicle farm with all the cool toys and the file cabinet covered in magnetic poetry. I still use smiley faces in my emails, whether people like it or not. This is not the first rodeo for Mr. Lox nor me. And together, we are planning an intimate afternoon wedding on a budget we can afford by ourselves.
About Mrs. Lox

How Not to Budget

February 24th, 2011 @ 10:18 am by Mrs. Lox

Usually I talk about the good. But today is a bit of a darker day, so let’s look at the bad and the ugly. Now, I’m not going to lie, it took me a few days to write this post. For some reason this topic is just a difficult one for me. But here goes nothing!

Our wedding budget was closely tied to some money Mr. Lox thought was headed his way. I’ve scrimped and saved and been budget conscious for almost every single thing we’ve done. But the bottom line is that we were counting on that money to get us through the wedding and honeymoon unscathed.

How Not to Budget :  wedding baltimore budget Lox1 lox1

This is our happy-budget look.


Today we learned something unpleasant, to say the least. Mr. Lox can only get less than half of what we had originally anticipated. Less. Than. Half. And we are left scrambling to find a way to cover all of the expenses we have hanging out there. Now, I think we can get through the wedding itself relatively unscathed. But the honeymoon? You know, the one we’ve bought plane tickets for? Unless they accept Monopoly money, we’re in some kind of trouble.

So, I will admit that I am less than productive in the way I’m handling this. Because I’m panicking. And right this red-hot second? I regret the day I thought we should have a real wedding. Right now should be a time for celebrating and being excited and, instead, I am panicking and Mr. Lox is stressing.

Add in the rumor of a government furlough, the panic in Chez Lox has reached new heights.

How Not to Budget :  wedding baltimore budget Lox2 lox2

And this is our budget now. Busted.

But these are the times you really learn about the stuff your relationship is made of. Let me tell you about this man of mine. He is selling his bike. He thought about getting a second job (until I begged him not to). He made up a budget, which even included a dinner or two out a month so we don’t feel like refugees. He found a way to shoulder the load that will allow me to continue to spend on our DIY projects and last-minute efforts. He even made some calls to reassure me that the furlough is unlikely.

But the bottom line remains. I don’t know if we’re going be able to fund both the wedding and the honeymoon. But I’m doing my best to squish down my fears, work on saving, and try to believe this is all going to be OK.

Did your budget run like a well-oiled machine, or did you hit some bumps in the road?

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32 Responses to “How Not to Budget”

1 2 

1.
Member Icon
Member
Falcon (message)  96 posts, Worker bee

Although you had some bumps it sounds like you have it worked out! It is good that your guy is not freaking out and is accepting the obstacle! We are awaiting the news to see if we get some of the money that was promised to us for the wedding, and I have a feeling it is not going to be coming anymore, so I understand your feelings. Good luck and I know you will still pull off a beautiful wedding that you both deserve!

 
2.
Mrs. Meerkat
Bee
Mrs. Meerkat (message)  3,216 posts, Sugar bee

Oh Lox! I hope it all works out. I have no advice other than keep calm and carry on. *hugs*

 
3.
Megan316
Member
Megan316 (message)  258 posts, Helper bee

Maybe you’ll get some good wedding gift cash to help with your honeymoon!

Good luck!

 
4.
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Member
sunflower.kisses11 (message)  133 posts, Blushing bee

Yeah, I am definitely hitting major bumps in the road. I know that I am unable to fund a honeymoon, so we are just going to a nice hotel for a couple of days like a half an hour from our home. Also, we are having a majorly small wedding (less than 50 guests) because we just cannot afford it. It sucks, and it makes me want to cry, but things happen. But what makes me keep going is the thought of marrying the man of my dreams, and that’s all that really matters to me. Keep your head up, you can always have an amazing honeymoon next year. =]

 
5.
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Guest
Jill

Sorry for the “bad and ugly” stuff you’re dealing with presently. Hopefully things will come together and you can relax a little, or you can reevaluate some of your initial plans, and still love your wedding!

We decided early on to go with a big wedding on a small budget. We decided what we could do without, and what we absolutley must have. This means no wedding photographer (we have several talented friends who will be bringing their digital cams anyway), no live music, a backyard wedding at a big family home, a tonne of food, but that we can source cheaply, and stand-in wedding bands that will suffice for a year or two, when we can afford ones we really love. Our honeymoon is going to be a road trip to a couple of awesome cities, and a few nights in some glorious hotels, instead of a two-week vacation somewhere warm. That two-week delightfulness will just have to wait until we can feasibly swing it, and we’re okay with that.

Good luck!

 
6.
katiedee
Member
katiedee (message)  614 posts, Busy bee

It sounds like you two are very dedicated and determined, and I have faith that all will work out for you! When FI and I got engaged he was convinced that his uppity mother and stepfather would pretty much be funding the wedding. Yah…well so far they’ve offered to buy the cake. Nice gesture, but in the grand scheme of wedding planning, not exactly a huge help. Goodbye classy hors d’oeuvres and cocktails at historic hotel, with favorite local rockabilly ban, and honeymoon in Paris. Hello cookout at local stables!

 
7.
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Member
miss.qwerty (message)  895 posts, Busy bee

Oh, Miss Lox! I’m sorry that you’re dealing with having your budget thrown out of whack. I guess the silver lining is even more proof that Mr. Lox is awesome. Hang in there!

 
8.
TheFutureMcBride
Member
TheFutureMcBride (message)  4,479 posts, Honey bee

I totally understand your stress. A week before our wedding, my husband was laid off; he’s the money maker. I’m the dinners out. It’s been super hard, but looking back, I love looking at our pictures. It’s hard, but DIY everything you can and try to enjoy your honeymoon. After all, they’re about spending time together, not spending as much money as possible.

 
9.
Cant_wait
Member
Cant_wait (message)  484 posts, Helper bee

This may sounds silly, but now is a pretty good time to sell gold. I sold a bunch of jewelry I never wore and thought was worthless, broken bracelets and necklaces, meaningless rings, etc. It added up to a nice sum! Best of luck!

 
10.
Denali
Member
Denali (message)  296 posts, Helper bee

*biiig hugs!!* I totally know what you’re going through. It sounds like you two are great support systems for eachother. You’ll get through this! Thanks for the honest post.

 
11.
7SEVENJ9
Member
7SEVENJ9 (message)  3,701 posts, Sugar bee

HONEYMOON REGISTRY! <3 Good luck!

 
12.
Miss Sloth
Bee
Miss Sloth (message)  3,184 posts, Sugar bee

Girrrrrrrrl. I could’ve pretty much written this post. Go through my archives and you’ll see!

It all worked out for us, though. And it will work out for you. You’ll still have a beautiful wedding, I promise.

Hugs to you, Loxy!

 
13.
heather25
Member
heather25 (message)  2,355 posts, Buzzing bee

If push comes to shove, last resort a zero percent interest credit card that (1) has the promotion date end way after your honeymoon; and (2) you ONLY use on your honeymoon.

 
14.
culby cheese
Member
culby cheese (message)  193 posts, Blushing bee

Unfortunately, many of us have fallen into the trap of planning with funds that don’t show up!
Hang in there, Miss Lox… I’m sure things will work out for you- it sucks big ones, but it sounds like you’re on the right track! Perhaps you can change the dates on the tickets for your honeymoon and go a little later than expected and just do a small mini-moon somewhere fairly local right after the wedding.

Hopefully it wasn’t a family member who didn’t come through! We had a relative offer to pay for everything the bride’s family pays for, but still planned our shindig assuming we would pay for everything ourselves and budgeted for what we could afford. Said relative gave us a really nice gift, but not nearly what the bride’s family paid for, so I’m glad we were cautious!

 
15.
Lexsy
Member
Lexsy (message)  537 posts, Busy bee

Oh no, thinking you’ll have an x amount of money and then getting half of x must be pretty bad! Still don’t panic, it’s simply a situation you need to deal with and figure out. When my FI and I decided on a budget for our wedding, we tried to figure out how much we needed to save each month to get there. Taking that amount away from our salaries, and we have our monthly budget (which is much less than we used to spend monthly!).
Whenever we spend money we take it away from our monthly budget, so we can see each day how much money is left to spend for the month.
This very practical and visual way of seeing how much we spent has made it easier to forgo some expenses (like eating out and buying stuff). Maybe you can see if it works for you!
And hey, if you need to, you should postpone the honeymoon - you should be able to move the date of the tickets with minimum expense. It will not be the end of the world if you go on your honeymoon 6 months later than planned!
Good luck and don’t worry, it will work out :-)

 
16.
Miss Tartlet
Bee
Miss Tartlet (message)  3,207 posts, Sugar bee

Oh no, Lox! :( I’m sorry to hear about this, but I know you two power through this and have an amazing wedding. We grossly underestimated how much Mr. Tartlet’s residency interviews would cost, so we’ve been playing the juggling game as well. Big hugs, lady.

 
17.
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Member
MissKabers (message)  114 posts, Blushing bee

oh! that is just so hard and i am so so sorry that you have to deal with that, but don’t let it get you to thinking that you shouldn’t be having this beautiful wedding of yours - you and Mr Lox deserve it! and it seems as though you are going to be okay for that part - I agree with a pp that a honeymoon registry is a great idea (and even letting close friends know that is what you prefer to receive - that is what my FIs sister did so that they could afford the honeymoon they wanted) the honeymoon cost is the one thing that i am worried about, i know that if any of our parents can’t end up coming through with $ for the wedding, we would be okay, but it would DEFINITELY mean no honeymoon for us. GOOD LUCK! i certainly hope it all works out :)

 
18.
Ms. Valentin
Member
Ms. Valentin (message)  63 posts, Worker bee

At first I thought I could fund the wedding on a certain amount. In my area, DC, I was told that was pretty much impossible unless we got married at a park and had a bbq. I really wish we could, but with my allergies and his sweating a lot during the summer months the wedding would be a distaster. We added $5000 and after looking around, that is the amount of the venue and catering….and we are getting married about 60 miles away. Now the price is $10,000 over what I would say our drop dead price! We are going to sit down and figure why the hell our wedding budget tool is telling us that everything will cost that much.

I am doing all of our paper products with my bridesmaids, I am doing our centerpieces (mostly candles and submerged flowers, some low flower arrangements that I am getting wholesale), and my mom is letting us use her timeshare for the honeymoon. We are putting all the wedding related on a travel credit card and paying it off completly each pay period in order to get at least one free ticket for the honeymoon. And that furlough rumor also has us in a panic.

We are trying to resomable and have a planner whose suggestions have already saved us enough money to get me my photobooth!

 
19.
Member Icon
Member
SamanthaRLaDue (message)  7 posts, Newbee

Hang in there.
We ended up waiting to do our honeymoon for a similar reason. Granted- we hadn’t already bought the tickets, but perhaps you have a transfer option?

Its likely to work out. And while its never cool to expect gifts, its quite possible you will be surprised by the generosity of the friends and family attending the festivities.

 
20.
Gerbera
Member
Gerbera (message)  4,481 posts, Honey bee

Oh, I’m so sorry! That really sucks.
I think however, you still have time to scrimp and save and to cut somethings off your wedding budget since I’m assuming you have made deposits on everything but not made final payments. So there is still time to change things around in your packages to make more room.
And in your everyday budget as well -as Mr Lox ha done. We all spend more than we REALLY need to.

 
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Mrs. Lox
Mrs. Lox

Mrs. Lox, Baltimore Age and Occupation: 33, Government Worker Fiance's Age and Occupation: 35. IT Consultant Engagement Date: May 8, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Vandiver Inn About Me: I’m an East Coast gal born and bred and a suburban brat turned city rat for the last year. Now Mr. Lox and I enjoy walking all kinds of places, having the coolest things around in our backyard, and especially our garage parking. I love gadgets, toys, Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby ice cream, monkeys, and our insane cats. I’m a blonde by birth and a redhead by choice. I’m that girl in the cubicle farm with all the cool toys and the file cabinet covered in magnetic poetry. I still use smiley faces in my emails, whether people like it or not. This is not the first rodeo for Mr. Lox nor me. And together, we are planning an intimate afternoon wedding on a budget we can afford by ourselves.

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