I’ve had a love-hate relationship with our relatively long engagement. On the one hand, the extra time has allowed us to carefully consider what’s most important to us for the wedding, and afforded us the luxury of planning when we want to (rather than feeling pressured to). We’ve also been able to save up our money, shop around for the best deals, and take our pick from the massive pool of available vendors.
On the other hand, a big repercussion of our now 22 month engagement is that it’s given me plenty of time to second guess our wedding-related decisions. I’ve gone through the whole spectrum of wedding “mood swings,” from feeling purely content to long periods of time where I’ve been consumed by boredom, wishing that the big day would just get here already. It’s during these times that I ended up getting lost amongst the pages of countless blogs and inspirational websites, which in turn led to me take a tumble down the wedding wishing well. Tell me, will some of my objects of desire be fulfilled at your wedding?
String lights. I have a sentimental attachment to these. On our first “real” date, Mr. Tartlet and I saw the movie Big Fish, and I fell in love with the twinkle of these lights as a direct result of this scene:
Our venue has strict rules regarding electrical wiring, so there will be no throwbacks to our first date. But, I can count on candles to emulate the luminous glow that this wedding achieved to perfection:
Bagpipes. Some of my happiest memories are from my time living in Scotland, and the drone of bagpipes is a fond reminder. However, I’m fully aware that some folk would rather cut their heart out with a spoon (10 points if you name that movie reference) than listen to one for more than 5 seconds. OK, maybe 2 seconds…
A sparkler exit. Really, an exit of any kind. Since we’re staying at the Royal Park the night of the wedding, it would make for a rather awkward scene if the guests were to send us off in a blaze of glory only to run into us seconds later in the lobby. Hi…come here often?
Horses. Yes, you read that right. Here is a clear example of where I let all of those adorable ranch weddings work their way into my subconscious, and I unreasonably found myself lusting after a galloping herd to mark the end of our ceremony per this wedding:
Mr. Tartlet happened to walk by as I was writing this, took one look at the photo and immediately said: “Let me guess. You’re writing about how with a longer engagement you run the risk of your wedding vision flying out of control?” Spot on my dear, spot on.
Furniture. Especially since I’m the kind of person who needs to step away from the crowd every once in a while, I love the idea of creating cozy nooks for people to sneak away to. They also make for fantastic photo ops!
A live band. I’m probably a bit jaded on this one because I have yet to happen upon a bad live band, but have come across some atrocious DJs in my time.
This band brought the house down at BM Laura’s wedding!
With a little over two months to go, I’ve found my way back to my place of zen where I’m 100% pleased as punch about the wedding we’re having. And, if I had to do it all over again, I’d still choose to have a longer engagement. Picking a wedding date is one of the most personal decisions you and your FI can make—whether it’s a short or long engagement, it’s so important to do what’s right for you as a couple!
How long will your engagement be? What are some pros and cons you’ve experienced working with your time frame?
- Rochester, MI
- Post-Doctoral Research Fellow
- Wedding Date:
- May 2011
- The Royal Park Hotel