I’ve had a love-hate relationship with our relatively long engagement. On the one hand, the extra time has allowed us to carefully consider what’s most important to us for the wedding, and afforded us the luxury of planning when we want to (rather than feeling pressured to). We’ve also been able to save up our money, shop around for the best deals, and take our pick from the massive pool of available vendors.
On the other hand, a big repercussion of our now 22 month engagement is that it’s given me plenty of time to second guess our wedding-related decisions. I’ve gone through the whole spectrum of wedding “mood swings,” from feeling purely content to long periods of time where I’ve been consumed by boredom, wishing that the big day would just get here already. It’s during these times that I ended up getting lost amongst the pages of countless blogs and inspirational websites, which in turn led to me take a tumble down the wedding wishing well. Tell me, will some of my objects of desire be fulfilled at your wedding?
String lights. I have a sentimental attachment to these. On our first “real” date, Mr. Tartlet and I saw the movie Big Fish, and I fell in love with the twinkle of these lights as a direct result of this scene:
(source)
Our venue has strict rules regarding electrical wiring, so there will be no throwbacks to our first date. But, I can count on candles to emulate the luminous glow that this wedding achieved to perfection:
(source)
Bagpipes. Some of my happiest memories are from my time living in Scotland, and the drone of bagpipes is a fond reminder. However, I’m fully aware that some folk would rather cut their heart out with a spoon (10 points if you name that movie reference) than listen to one for more than 5 seconds. OK, maybe 2 seconds…
Brantley Gutierrez via Green Wedding Shoes
A sparkler exit. Really, an exit of any kind. Since we’re staying at the Royal Park the night of the wedding, it would make for a rather awkward scene if the guests were to send us off in a blaze of glory only to run into us seconds later in the lobby. Hi…come here often?
Horses. Yes, you read that right. Here is a clear example of where I let all of those adorable ranch weddings work their way into my subconscious, and I unreasonably found myself lusting after a galloping herd to mark the end of our ceremony per this wedding:
Mr. Tartlet happened to walk by as I was writing this, took one look at the photo and immediately said: “Let me guess. You’re writing about how with a longer engagement you run the risk of your wedding vision flying out of control?” Spot on my dear, spot on.
Furniture. Especially since I’m the kind of person who needs to step away from the crowd every once in a while, I love the idea of creating cozy nooks for people to sneak away to. They also make for fantastic photo ops!
(source)
A live band. I’m probably a bit jaded on this one because I have yet to happen upon a bad live band, but have come across some atrocious DJs in my time.
This band brought the house down at BM Laura’s wedding!
With a little over two months to go, I’ve found my way back to my place of zen where I’m 100% pleased as punch about the wedding we’re having. And, if I had to do it all over again, I’d still choose to have a longer engagement. Picking a wedding date is one of the most personal decisions you and your FI can make—whether it’s a short or long engagement, it’s so important to do what’s right for you as a couple!
How long will your engagement be? What are some pros and cons you’ve experienced working with your time frame?
Amen! I am so glad we had a long engagement. I really had the time to refine and focus on what we want.
BTW I think most brides fall in love with the Big Fish photo you have. I know I did. 
Cut your heart out with a spoon… why? cause it hurts more. Princess Bride.
Thank you for posting this. With a 22 month engagement myself, I second guess every single thing I choose and get ahead of myself more often than not. It’s terrible. And with 14 months to go, there’s no end in sight!
The most recent second-guessing was with my wedding dress… ughhh…
Perfect timing. Thanks for sharing.
I <3 string lights! We have a 16 month engagement which sounded long at the time, but I’m coming to realize is pretty standard. It’s nice because we got a jump on looking at venues so most are free even for the holiday weekend that we’re planning. But like you mentioned, some days I just wish it would get here already….
Ours will be 25 months by the time we get married, and I’ve definitely had times of second guessing.
@Megan316: You beat me.
Bagpipes = awesomeness!
Our engagement was 4.5 months and I loved it. It was all wedding planning all the time and made things easier because all plans had to be figured out with no second guessing. Granted, I think it would’ve been nice to have a couple months more.
All those things (well except maybe the horses) have crept their way into my wedding vision over the months as well…sadly the only one that may become a reality is the twinkle lights!
Oh my… add flags and ribbon wands to that exit picture and you could possibly be in my brain. Well, minus the horses. 
@Megan316: I love Princess Bride! But, I’m thinking of another equally glorious film that involves men prancing around in tights.
@CNsbtt: I think there are many of us who second-guess our wedding dress (myself included)–so you’re not alone!
@TheFutureMcBride: I’m always so impressed by the couples who can plan their weddings in that amount of time!
@martL26: Mmm, the twinkle lights are one of my all-time faves. Glad you get to have those!
@Miss Lox: I’ve been bitten by the flag and ribbon bug as well thanks to all of the crafty posts floating around here!
I’m in month 3 of a 30-month engagement. By accident, really–I thought we’d be able to do the wedding next year, but I didn’t realize how much the wedding we wanted would cost. Can we do it? Yes. Should I probably have another year to save, what with my man living on student loans? Yes.
So I have strict rules about when I can start buying anything bigger than a breadbox, and MAN, I hate it. I know it’s probably a good thing–I’m impulsive and that doesn’t work well with a unified vision–but dang, not being able to set up centerpieces and buy champagne flutes and all that is driving me crazy.
We’ll be engaged for around 2 years and my wedding vision is constantly changing haha (: could the reference be to Robin Hood? I ♥ Alan Rickman haha
I completely understand the second-guessing thing! I’m glad you’re back in your zen place, though 
Love the sparkler exit and the furniture but budget doesn’t allow for such things… Plus I love that you are a MI bride so I can relate.
Men in Tights!
Wedding vision changing is one of the reasons I’m very happy that our engagement is 12 months (almost to the day!). I have way less time to change my mind about stuff!
at one point, I asked Mr. C about having vintage lounge furniture around and he looked like me like i was out of my mind. I wish I had more time.. we have like an 8 month engagement? But def can see how having more time means more time to second guess! Love this post btw, so much inspiration and I also need a little reality check. Haha.
we will have been engaged for 14 months and I have to say I wish we had chosen an earlier date. But we fell in love with a venue and had little options to work with unless we wanted to get married during the rainy winter months. No thank you, I would have gone nuts watching weather.com every day. Plus the longer engagement has given me too much time for DIY and I keep adding to the list when I cross off a completed project. 6 more months to go, wonder how much DIY I can get done!
19 months here. I haven’t run into any boredom yet… wishing I could slow things down a bit so I can DIY more.
Thank you for writing this! By the time we get married, we’ll have been engaged for 26 months. It’s a doozy! I feel the same way that you wrote about – so antsy for it to be here, bored outta my mind, changing my mind, coming up with a bajillion and one ideas.. sigh.
On the other hand.. I think it gives plenty of time to research and hopefully not stress as much in the weeks leading up to the wedding.. time will tell though
@kristophine: I imposed some spending rules on myself shortly after we got engaged, too! It can definitely take some getting used to, but it helped thinking about the endgame.
@sugarpea, @Miss Cinnamon Bun: You got it! Hooray for Men in Tights!
@mrsbowieii: Hooray for another MI bride! I get so excited whenever I hear from another gal in the area!
@Denali, @Miss Crepe: Thanks, ladies!
@xtatic1: Oh gosh, continuing to add projects is definitely one of the traps I’ve fallen into as well!
@Miss Pain au Chocolat: I have a feeling if you talk to me in a month or so I’ll be wishing that I could slow things down, too.
@junebug12: It’s definitely been more relaxing for me thus far having spread things out over a long period of time. I hope you experience something similar when your wedding rolls around!
Mrs. Tartlet, Rochester, MI Age and Occupation: Age & Occupation: 27, Post-Doctoral Research Fellow Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Medical Student Engagement Date: May 2, 2009 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: The Royal Park Hotel About Me: I'm an exuberant gal from the Midwest with a penchant for Neuroscience and anything sparkly. I'm not afraid to poke fun at myself, and I'm a believer that given the right pair of shoes, a girl can conquer the world. While an interest in the sciences threw Mr. Tartlet and me together (again, and again, until it finally stuck), we share a love for many things---food, video games, car dancing, food, bad puns, travel, did I mention food?---that ultimately led us to where we are now, less than five months from becoming Mr. and Mrs. We're planning a laid-back, romantic, garden-inspired affair with organic and quirky touches that reflect our love for the unexpected!
Latest Gallery Pics