Weddingbee Blog

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Oddly enough, one of my favorite shows on TV, Top Chef, inspired me to start typing this. In this past week’s episode, the chefs travel to Ellis Island to learn about their heritage and create a dish that embraces it. One chef broke down during judges’ table when talking about growing up with his grandmother and how when he cooks Italian food, it makes him remember all over again how hard it was to lose her when she passed away. Remember that time when I mentioned I was a crier? Well, I was BAWLING.

When I was a little girl, I actually lived with my maternal grandmother in Singapore while my mom was getting her work visa in Thailand.

I like to think that of all my cousins, I was the favorite grandchild because we did spend all that time together, but don’t tell them that. We would get up each morning and eat oatmeal together, then I’d head off to the local kindergarten and by lunchtime, I’d be back at the flat. The afternoon was wide open to meeting with relatives that spoke no English or heading to the market to eat “Ta Mee Poh” aka local egg noodles in a delish sauce with fishballs and roasted meats. It was living with my grandmother that I decided to take care of cutting my own hair (probably my worst decision ever—don’t leave your five year old with scissors when she has to get passport pictures taken the next day), and it was with her that I first developed a sweet tooth. I had been lucky enough to see her often and maintain our relationship even though we were separated by the Pacific Ocean for most of my life. I was a mess when she passed away during the summer after my college graduation, after five years of fighting the battle against Alzheimer’s Disease.

Knowing the strong woman that she had been for all my life and seeing the affect that Alzheimer’s had on her was absolutely heartbreaking. Since her diagnosis, I had always wanted to get more involved with raising awareness for the disease, but I never really knew how. Last year I signed up for updates with the Alzheimer’s Association and since we’ve been engaged, I’ve seen more and more about donations in lieu of favors. I put two and two together and knew immediately what we needed to do: the wedding would be our first step in giving to a cause I feel so passionately about.

We actually aren’t going the donation favor route, though. My mom brought up the valid point that it’s not very nice to say “Hey, I was going to get you this thing, but instead I decided to give it to someone else, and now all you’ve got is this card.” So we’re using the double prints from the photo booth as favors. Instead, we are opting to go without something on our big day and give the money we would have spent there towards Alzheimer’s. We have decided that we are not having flowers at the reception. Instead, each table will have a card saying “In lieu of floral centerpieces, a donation has been made to the Alzheimer’s Association in memory of Miss Bacon’s grandmother.” It’s a little unconventional, but it’s one of those things that will make the day even more special since I know that we’re doing our part to make a difference and we’re honoring a woman who was a big part in shaping the person I am today.

Are you doing anything to honor loved ones that are no longer with you? Is anyone else doing a donation as part the big day?