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Mrs. Waffle, Austin Age and Occupation: 31, Costumer/Artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Animator Engagement Date: July 27, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2011 Venue: Hummingbird House About Me: My life is pretty much spent in a sea of fabric, paint, sequins and drama. When I’m not working, I play on a trivia team, take Broadway dance classes, read, buy shoes, and occasionally geek out on video games. I am an American girl who loves all things British and Mr. Waffle is a Brit who loves all things American...I guess it was meant to be!
About Mrs. Waffle

Hitting the Wall…HARD

March 4th, 2011 @ 1:10 pm by Mrs. Waffle

Eventually, once a year, I end up in a Bermuda Triangle of my own creation, one that’s comprised of activities, commitments and jobs that I have willingly agreed to by the simple fact that I have trouble saying NO to people or because I fail to set boundaries. I am currently in one of those situations. I saw the giant wall looming ahead of me, but I still decided it was a good idea to run full force towards it. Normally, I stop just inches before hitting it. Today, I wasn’t so lucky.

Hitting the Wall…HARD :  wedding austin emotional Hit The Wall hit-the-wall

The thing I find interesting is that my work and commitment load hasn’t really changed.

My day job is just as stressful and demanding as ever and my freelance show opens in a few weeks (praise the Lord). I have my weekly commitments to my Broadway class and trivia team, but that’s normal and is usually a stress outlet.

Oh, wait. What’s that you say? I’m also planning a wedding? Please, I have months to do that! No big deal. It’s just a really big party….um…isn’t it. help.

I had no idea planning something so joyous would create this much intensity and stress in my body. When I started on this journey, I said to several people how this would be such a piece of cake because I can costume a whole production in 3 weeks for $1000 with my eyes closed. I remember, in the past, secretly scoffing at girls who were soooo distraught and stressed out over planning a wedding.

Wrong. I was so wrong and I apologize to those sweet darlings who were unknowingly scoffed at.

This is hard. Once you are under the “100 days to go” mark it gets really hard. Last leg of a marathon hard.

The hard part isn’t the putting together and addressing 60 invite cards or deciding what font to use on your RSVPs. As a matter of fact, all of the crafty DIY stuff puts me in my happy place. The hard part is losing time. The even harder part, the one that has seriously taken its toll on me, is dealing with people issues. Issues of who to hack off the guest list. Where should I seat my parents at dinner so that nobody is pissed off or arguing? It’s the phone calls and tears and worrying over why the damn salon doesn’t have your dress in yet. It’s pleasing people, putting on a happy face and having to answer the question of “how’s the planning going” 20 times a day. It’s feeling like you’ll never have enough hours in the day to get this “really big party” off the ground while still enjoying the sweet, quiet moments with your honey (who happens to be in another state).

I’m not gonna lie, ladies. It’s rough and emotional times in the Waffle House right now. I am physically exhausted, missing Mr Waffle like crazy and was pretty damn close to crying at work today. What I really need is a full day of Colin Firth as Mr Darcy in P&P while wearing my pajamas and NO other human contact, NO wedding and NO work. I need a full day to recharge my battery and answer to nobody but ME so I can be my usual happy, bouncy self again.

On the bright side, less than 100 days to go.

Have you hit the wall recently? Are you pretty close to hitting it? What are you doing to avoid the wall at all costs?

Tags: austin, emotional |
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22 Responses to “Hitting the Wall…HARD”

1 2 

1.
mightywombat
Member
mightywombat (message)  3,311 posts, Sugar bee

YES. There are too many niggling little things left to do, and I don’t know when I should be doing them, and they all seem stupid and stressful.

 
2.
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Guest
missL2B

Aw Miss Waffle - I have hit that wall too! Like you I am at the under 100 day mark too and I want to cry.

I can’t believe just how much there is to do - in addition to everyday life things.

But just think - in just over 100 days this will all be over :)

 
3.
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Guest
olivemylove

I feel the exact same way! I am right under 100 days also. And the stress has piled up. I am in the middle of tax season, have a test in grad school next week, and working on the invitations (which seems to be a never ending project now) I seriously had tears in my eyes today at work! I am planning on renting 101 Dalmatians when I get off work and doing nothing else =)

 
4.
dolphindoll
Member
dolphindoll (message)  287 posts, Helper bee

Keep your chin up! We are all here, loving and supporting you! Vent whatever you need to, and go to your happy place. Some pro tips:
For me, sometimes it really helps to just listen to a song that makes me supremely happy like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYdZvQBl6sk
It’s the Straight No Chaser version of “I’m Yours and Somewhere Over the Rainbow.”
Google Image search “mini dachshund puppies” and “beagle puppies”
Sing showtunes really (really) loudly in the shower.

These are all tiny time commitments but might boost your day! Good luck finding and embracing the love and sunshine in your life!

 
5.
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Guest
jacquelyn

Ah….this makes me feel good about my decision to just jet off to Jamaica and get married the stress-free way. I am well under the 100 day mark and all I needed to do was book the resort and buy a dress. Good luck to you with your final planning! Don’t let it get to you too much!

 
6.
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Member
Miichelle (message)  263 posts, Helper bee

Miss Waffle,

Thanks for your post on hitting the wall. Yoru words resonate with me so well. I feel less alone in the planning intensity (and its consequences) and reminded to include (somehow) in the planning, some release valve…

I hit the wall already in January. Like Miss Waffle, I “psha’ed” with a smirk and a shrug the whole it-takes-a lot-of-time-to-plan-a-wedding concept. I thought I could do it all and add more. I was wrong.

Fall semester (I’m in academia), I was working my full load plus overload to pay off the kitchen renovation (21 college credit hours) AND taking qualifying exams toward a phd AND planning a wedding on top of lots of other everyday stuff. Our winter break was wraught with stress, trying to coordinate all the change in our families (however positive), so we didn’t recover from fall semester or rejuvenate for spring semester.

Classes started in January and I jumped in full steam ahead… teaching another 21 credit hours (paid off the kitchen but now need to pay the wedding) going to graduate school (passed qualifying exams and now working on the dissertation) and starting a wedding ready workout routine… turns out my body wasn’t ready to amp up the stress, though.

My second week of step aerobics class, I tore my calf muscle. I couldn’t walk for a month. Everything came to a screeching halt.

I am finally walking again, but won’t be totally healed for six months. There goes my plans for Diva Heels under my dress, lol! I had to make many changes to my daily routine and my plans for the year, but most all, in my attitude… the injury came with a blessing. My new favorite letters are N and O. I now know slowing down is good. And my FI and I have had a chance to really sort out what is important in life and let go of little things that can distract us from that. Colors and decor, for instance, won’t get us stressed, though they could’ve if I didn’t hit the wall. The smack helped us know for sure: we love each other and that’s what the wedding is all about!

 
7.
DoxieDoll
Member
DoxieDoll (message)  164 posts, Blushing bee

YES! This wall you speak of- I’m all up on it. House hunting + wedding planning = wall hitting. You’ll get through! Keep calm and carry on! :D

 
8.
Miss Giraffe
Bee
Miss Giraffe (message)  4,216 posts, Honey bee

OMG, Waf, I feel like you just took this post out of my brain. Getting into these double digits is driving me crazy.

There is so much to do, and I think I need to quit my job so I can do it all ;-).

Hang in there, girl, I’m with you!

 
9.
Miss Sloth
Bee
Miss Sloth (message)  3,184 posts, Sugar bee

That sketch is hilarious and adorable!

 
10.
soon2Bfournames
Member
soon2Bfournames (message)  87 posts, Worker bee

I’m pancake’d on the wall right now. Just when I think “you were insane last week, everything is fine” I have another moment. It’s a roller coaster ride that I’m very much looking forward to getting off of in a couple of months!

 
11.
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Bee
Mrs. Husky (message)  1,754 posts, Buzzing bee

I, too, secretly scoffed at girls planning their wedding. But it was right around this time in my planning that I began to change my tune! But don’t worry - in just a few short months, these feelings will be replaced by the simple and complete joy that was your wedding day and is your marriage. Hang in there!

 
12.
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Guest
beautifulkastrofie

I hit the wall last week. Got to the point where I was so stressed I tried to give my notice at work. Luckily I got a phone call about it and they were able to fix all the kinks to help relieve my work stress (I only work part time so really the amount of stress it was giving me, was not worth it). Luckily I just got on break from school so I’m hoping that I can blow up the wall this weekend and go full speed into planning. I’m down to 70 days, ahhhhh!

 
13.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pain au Chocolat (message)  1,698 posts, Bumble bee

I think things are on the upswing for me, finally. The feeling was more underwater and unable to catch my breath rather than a wall but the sentiment is the same.

 
14.
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Guest
j

damn straight. I hit the wall last night. 22 days to go.

 
15.
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Member
Jenniferk6 (message)  627 posts, Busy bee

I’m pretty far away from my wall right now and have a long time to go, but I just wanted to say that I could also use a day of Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy in P&P. With wine and oreos.

 
16.
Miss Tartlet
Bee
Miss Tartlet (message)  3,207 posts, Sugar bee

Oh Waffle! Take that day to curl up with Mr. Darcy! It’ll be so therapeutic, and after you can breathe and be yourself–sans the label of bride-to-be–I’m sure you’ll feel better!

 
17.
RainStorm
Member
RainStorm (message)  420 posts, Helper bee

I feel for you!

I’m nowhere near our wedding (like, 17 months away), however I have developed stress-induced migraines this week (having never had anything like them before). I hope it isn’t a long term problem as I have a pretty stressful job and a weddibg to plan!

 
18.
Sunlavender
Member
Sunlavender (message)  553 posts, Busy bee

Pride and Prejudice is the answer to many a woe. That and a glass of wine.

 
19.
blanket
Member
blanket (message)  206 posts, Helper bee

Oh Waffle, I feel like you just narrated how I”m feeling these days. One comment that people tend to make a lot more than they should be aloud to and that gets me overly anxious and furious at the same time every single time is the one in which they tell you just how much you should rush on your planning. It’s one thing for them to ask how it’s going, but then you try to be honest and say something like “Oh well, I’m still trying to figure out this and that”, and then suddenly, boom! “You should really get going on that, you know you only have these many days left, you’re really late on that one and blah blah blah.” I mean seriously, you invite someone to a huge paid-for party and this is what you get? Aka pressure to do it perfectly? Jeez! The nerve of some people. But on the bright side Waffle, it seems you have it under control, even if only outside of your mind. So kudos to you! I’ve been slacking on school and work a lot more than I would like to admit. So all in all, you’re right on target!

 
20.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Cotton Candy (message)  436 posts, Helper bee

We’re close to that 100 day mark and I’m kinda freaking I’m pretty sure I’ll be hanging out on the wall with you in the weeks to come!

 
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Mrs. Waffle
Mrs. Waffle

Mrs. Waffle, Austin Age and Occupation: 31, Costumer/Artist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 33, Animator Engagement Date: July 27, 2010 Wedding Date: June 2011 Venue: Hummingbird House About Me: My life is pretty much spent in a sea of fabric, paint, sequins and drama. When I’m not working, I play on a trivia team, take Broadway dance classes, read, buy shoes, and occasionally geek out on video games. I am an American girl who loves all things British and Mr. Waffle is a Brit who loves all things American...I guess it was meant to be!

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