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Weddingbee Blog
When I first got engaged I was completely clueless regarding weddings. I had always known I wanted to get married: I simply never pictured my wedding day. I never role-played a bride when I was a little girl. I never looked at wedding dresses imagining myself in one. I never wondered what kind of reception or ceremony I would want.
This is why at first I was totally lost and didn’t know where to start.
Maybe this is why my first wedding ideas (during the first month of engagement) were very naïve and not fit for a wedding. In an effort to ridicule myself, I thought you’d enjoy reading my first attempts at wedding planning.
GUESTS
Naïve Me: I wanted a small, intimate wedding. I thought our A-list would be between 35 and 50 people.
Reality: Our A-list is now 100 people. Would have been 130, but our venue has an indoor capacity of 90.
BUDGET
Naïve Me: The first time I jotted down how much I thought the wedding might cost, I got to a total of 10.000 €. I assumed the photographer would be about 1.000 €, put a measly 400 € for Mr. Carousel’s attire, and honestly believed it was realistic.
Reality: My first estimate was missing a lot of costs (rings, certificates, stamps…), and I was underestimating our guest list. Our first serious budget attempt doubled that amount.
ENTERTAINMENT
Naïve Me: I focused on entertainment that would help our guests mingle. These are the first ideas I looked into:
Reality: I was confusing a company event with a wedding. I have since then realized the difference.
That was totally true and a bit embarrassing to admit! So make me feel better. What not so amazing ideas did you have at the beginning of your planning and have dropped since then?
Can’t describe how much I empathize with this! I have been so lost in wedding planning, thank goodness for the bee. Vendors asking me to make decisions based on “how I have always pictured it” do not help! I have never pictured it, I have no idea 
I can’t say that I had any very specific ideas of entertainment. But I have learned that ideas that I thought were new and very “neat” are kind of old. I don’t have any friends that have gotten married recently other than a couple that just had a VERY simple church ceremony. I feel very out of place when trying to figure out what to do….
See, now I think your entertainment ideas are actually kind of fresh and fun! Who wouldn’t love the dance instructor? Seriously, no need to feel bad. I think that would actually be sort of awesome. 
The budget one happens to everyone I think. I was sure I could pull off our wedding for under 10K. I was so wrong. LOL
Oh I can’t remember at this point of any specifics, but I was definitely completely naive as well! And I’m with @Miss Lox: I think all your entertainment ideas sound fun!
errr i’m still thinking of entertainment ideas like that… hahahha! i’m sure i’m being naive as well, but as someone whose dance moves are more like spastic flailing, i’m hoping to provide other things for guests to do besides just dancing!
I definitely had some serious reality checks due to my own naivete. I also think your entertainment options sound fantastic!
not to worry, before i realized i wanted to marry my mister, i never really thought about my future wedding. all i pictured was me in a white dress standing next to some guy in a tux with a fuzzy head. and that’s about as specific as the vision got! but yeah, at first i [snottily, i might add] said that i wanted to have a wedding planner. who knew a full-service wedding planner would cost almost as much as my “dream” wedding budget! eek!
@heathmarie29: I can totally relate, I learned so so so much from the hive, I really don’t know what I would have done without!
@JNWhite: It’s the same for me, no friends getting married so totally clueless at first!
@Miss Lox: @Mrs. Pin Cushion: @flurrsprite: @Miss Tartlet: I guess I was scarred for life when, after thinking that casino games were great, I found them at our corporate event! But maybe I was too fast at discounting them, perhaps if I’d known the hive then it would have been different…
@Mrs. Meerkat: How can such a large amount of money suddenly seem so little? Wedding really change all sense of proportion!
@tea: Lol when I read that planners in the end make you save money I have to laugh as I’ve seen they often cost at least half of my budget! I guess that’s only valid for much higher budgets…
Me too! I had never imagined my wedding day, but starting from scratch was the best way to go for me. I have a girlfriend who has everything complete 1-yr. to the wedding!
Even for a bride who imagines and plans for the better part of her adult life, there is still a bit of naivete on the budget and logistics. Money has always been a bit of a mystery to me.
I can relate as well! So many things that are would be considered fun and quirky and very “in” in an american wedding, are just not possible in Italy… how many times a day do I hear “non si fa!” I will be interested to hear how you integrate your two cultures. We are trying to do that (groom is Italian) but my in-laws have a hard time breaking free of tradition.
To answer your question in a previous post, yes I do speak Italian, don’t think I could handle this if I didn’t! But I do have a question for you: how do you say “craft supply store”?? Sounds silly but I can’t figure out a way to describe it to find out if they have them here (God, I hope they have them here….) and I really need some supplies. If you know of any, do let me know!
@RomaBride: It’s true, unfortunately Italian vendors are way behind and not really internet savvy… There are some changes (do you know the site http://trendinozze.blogspot.com/ or http://lefrufrublog.blogspot.com/) but still there is a lot of resistance!
I think if you really look you might be able to find vendors that are more open to the American ideas, but there are not many!
We are trying to combine lots of traditions and it’s not always easy!
For the “craft supply store” that’s not so easy because the DIY is not big at all in Italy… I would say “negozio fai-da-te”, but they might confuse it with a Brico or something! Try to specify explaining that you need “carta e nastri”. Also some big cartolerie have a good paper collection, or stores for bomboniere might be of help! Good luck, unfortunately in Italy to my knowledge there is no Micheal’s!
Dude I would LOVE to attend a wedding w/fake gambling and fortune telling…I say, don’t necessarily rule it out!!
When we first got engaged we thought for a photographer and videograper we could spend about $1,000 (total) if we had to go outside the family… Yea not so much.
I feel as though I could have written this blog because I feel the same way! I’m hoping to be engaged in the next few months, so I started doing research on what goes into a wedding (which is how I found the ‘Bee). I truly thought I could do a wedding for $10,000. I’m hoping I still can, but I have a feeling that I’m going to learn a lot through your blog.
Thanks for sharing!!
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Miss Carousel, Dusseldorf, Germany/Garda, Italy Age and Occupation: 29, International Product Manager Fiance's Age and Occupation: 31, Front End Developer Engagement Date: May 29, 2010 Wedding Date: September 2011 Venue: I’m an American-Italian girl living in Germany with my Belgian fiancé, planning a wedding in Italy. I can’t wait to show our guests the wonderful Lake Garda, Verona, and want our wedding to be a fun filled, charming, day in the life of “La dolce vita.” Mr. C and I love spending time together, and have added wedding related activities to our cooking nights, dance lessons, and road trips. We love sampling restaurants, could listen to Sinatra all day, and are just a tad geeky and into technology. As we want all of our passions to be part of our marriage, what better way to start than by incorporating them in our wedding day?
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