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This past weekend, Mr. Jaguar and I finally booked some pre-wedding couples’ counselling. It’s something we’ve never done as a pair before and though I’m still not entirely sure what’s going to happen during the sessions, I’m very open to it.
Too often we fall into the same sorts of routines, especially since we’re both working full-time. We wake up, get ready for work, don’t see each other again until early evening, have dinner together (almost always!) and then veg out in each others’ company until bedtime, when we start the cycle again. Weekends are lovely, but most of the time we’re busy catching up on the exhausting week to really appreciate them. You see, while we spend a lot of time together, we’re quite the home-bodies for the most part: saving for a wedding and for a home will do that to you! With the exception of our meal tasting night out last week, we can’t even remember the last time we had an actual “date.” It’ll be nice to have an entire weekend dedicated to actual “couple” time, with no computers, no wedding or home planning, and no distractions.
Yes, we’ve opted to go for a full weekend of counselling.
Since we’re getting married in a Catholic church, our priest (let’s call him Father C from now on) reminded us that engaging in some form of pre-cana or counselling is highly advised before marriage, and in some cases, it’s mandatory. He recommended several places for us to contact, ranging from weekly seminars, to 1:1 counselling with an older married couple, to weekends away. With less than 90 days to go, we couldn’t find an appropriate date to book in with those ones, so we ended up finding our own option.
The course we’ve chosen runs from 9AM-10PM on the Saturday, then from 10AM-4PM on a Sunday. That’s a whole lot of talking, right there! It’ll be exhausting and draining, but at least we’ll have the whole thing done in one long sitting. I’m actually really looking forward to the weekend, especially if it revolves around lots of discussion between partners. Mr. Jaguar and I have been dating for nearly nine years, so we’ve grown up together for the most part. However having the chance to talk about our future plans some more and to discuss aspects of our soon-to-be-married lives will be great.
Have you and your significant other ever attended pre- (or post-) wedding counselling?
Yes! me and my FI will be attending a day seminar for couples in April , I’m actually excited for it , i think even though we spend so much time together and talk about everything , sometimes listening to other couples problem, ideas and views will give us a better perspective about us 
Hope you get everything you want out of yours!
We never have, but I really want to before the wedding. We don’t have any huge problems that we need to work out or anything, I just think it is a really good idea. However, neither of us are religious, so I don’t know exactly what to look for in a counselor. I know I don’t want a touchy-feely granola type…but that’s about it. FI always jokes that he doesn’t get why I want to go to a counselor “because I hate hearing that I’m wrong, so why would I pay someone to tell me.” LOL, ain’t he sweet?
Hope your sessions go great, let us know!!
We did the Catholic marriage prep class with an older married couple. They were cra-zy. Seriously. Everytime he left the room she told us she wanted to divorce him- wtf?? But they taught us how we didn’t want to turn out AND we scored the highest on that test they give you than any other couple they’d had. It was a learning experience that’s for sure! Good luck with yours!!
Mr P and I LOVED our Engaged Encounter Pre Cana. Loved, Loved, Loved! I am sure down the road we’ll do a Marriage Encounter too- because let’s be real, sometimes you need a tune up!
We had a couple of sessions with our officiant (family pastor) and we both enjoyed it, and learned from it.
we just sent in our registration this past weekend. we are going to the one day option at a local parish.
We loved our pre-marital counseling. It was through a local christian family non-profit and our group leader is a deacon at our church. After meeting for 10 weeks for two hours a week we had a weekend retreat and it was great. Of course I got sick from the different water but otherwise we enjoyed it.
i can’t wait to hear about your weekend, Jag. Mr. O and I aren’t taking the pre cana route, but i did just finish buying 3 marriage prep books for us to read and discuss together.
I cant wait to hear how it goes. Our priest is a family friend and has known FI for about 10 years and me for the 6 years I have been dating him for. We asked about pre-marital counselling and he said our relationship had been through everything and he had personally seen us discuss everything that would be discussed so he didnt think it was necessary?
I hope your weekend is wonderful! We aren’t scheduling pre-wedding counseling, but we’re definitely making sure we’re on the same page for the big topics prior to tying the knot.
By day I am a mild-mannered Mental Health Counselor; an ordained non-denominational minister/wedding officiant in the rest of my life. I wholeheartedly endorse counseling to anyone (or couple) who feel they would benefit from it. I don’t, however, require it of the couples I marry. My philosophy is that if they don’t feel they need it, then who am I to say that they do? But the couples who have sought my help have reported that they got something meaningful to help their relationships from the experience. http//www.trinitycottage.com
I’m about to write a post about this. Our priest didn’t have us do pre-cana. We signed a paper and he said he’d email us if the church started a program. I’m OK with it, because we’ve spoken about the things that would come up in pre cana, but I’m scared that I’ll find out 2 weeks before the wedding that we were supposed to do a ton of stuff.
I’m glad you guys have found a good time to have some uninterrupted talking time :).
I hope it’s a good experience for you. It seems like Pre-Cana experiences vary so much by diocese and program - I hope you’ll be willing to share yours with the Hive afterwards. I like knowing what I’ll be getting myself into some day.
Sounds like fun!! We do not have to do it but are thinking of doing something just between us - like a day where we set a bunch of topics we want to discuss and simply go over them together!
I think it sounds like you guys will get a lot out of it. We had talked about doing this but in the end ran out of time.
We did a long day (8-5) of non-religious premarital counseling, and it was great. We did lots of talking, but no arguing, and overall it was a positive experience. It gave us a chance to talk about things we might not gone in depth on, but most of the topics had already come up since we’ve lived together and all. Some of the other couples/guys in our class seemed miserable being there, but mine was actually excited and got really into it. We left feeling closer and it showed me (again) how lucky I am to have him. I would recommend premarital counseling for sure.
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Mrs. Jaguar, Sydney Age and Occupation: 27, Primary School Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 29, IT Consultant Engagement Date: August 8, 2009 Wedding Date: June 2011 Venue: Curzon Hall About Me: I'm an Australian girl who is a self-proclaimed nerd, loves all things stationery and would be lost without books, music and the internet. Mr. Jaguar and I have been together for the past eight years and he finally popped the question last August. Hurrah! We currently live in Sydney, Australia with our adorable cat who thinks he's a person. We're a couple who likes to multi-task: we've been planning a wedding abroad, a permanent move from London to Sydney, and preparing to build our own home all at the same time. Travelling makes me giddy...as does Mr. Jaguar, of course!
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