- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee Blog
Ummmmm, I’m not sure what to do about this whole registry thing. You see, I am 30 and Mr. Magic is, too. We aren’t really old as the title of this post suggests…I mean, he’s in the living room killing zombies as I type, and I get carded all the time (I mean, not all the time, just on the really rare occasions when I drink). How old can we be?!?
But…we are 30. We have lived in sin for some time now. And, I like to decorate and eat. If one combined all these facts and lifestyle choices, one (OK, I) would wind up with this:
As you can see, we have a lot of stuff. We don’t really need anything. All of these things are functional and adequate.
So, if we were to register, what would we ask for? We’d possibly do a honeymoon registry, although I am not sure we will be able to afford to go anywhere even with the assistance of a registry.
Or, we could register for larger ticket items, such as new furniture or a patio set. Seems a bit greedier, though, than asking for, like, a pot holder (which we have enough of, thanks so much).
We could do the charity thing but, honestly, I’m not that benevolent. FH and I both have careers that focus on helping others, and we both volunteer and donate to causes we believe in. Call me greedy and selfish, but I want some gifts!
Gifts from Crate & Barrel!
(Disclaimer: Of course I know that by getting married, I am not entitled to any gifts and, after all, our guests’ presents—oops! I mean our guests’ presence—at our ceremony and reception is gift enough.)
I’m not sure what my hang-up is. I’m the person who starts making her Christmas list right after Halloween is over. And no, I’m not talking about what I need to buy for others…I’m talking about what I want to ask for. In fact, I am generally making a mental list all year long. What can I say? I like stuff. It is, after all, the American way.
How very patriotic of you! (source)
OK, wait…I do know what my hang-ups are. I feel it’s not very green of us to ask for new things just because the old ones are bumming me out. Plus, I feel greedy asking for a ton of stuff that I would probably not buy myself (because I can’t afford those things). Like, one pot that costs $85? A fancy-shmancy knife for God only knows how much? We don’t need those things.
So that’s what it boils down to, I guess…want versus need. It’s a concept I don’t understand well, I admit.
Enough blathering! In the next post, I’m gonna tell you what I want to register for, economy and environment and common decency be damned! But until then, what’s on your registry? And has anyone ever had this many thoughts about asking for stuff?
Go for the honeymoon registry - esp. if you can’t afford a honeymoon. You can divide up hotel nights and activities and food and then you can enjoy a trip - even if it’s just to the OBX or something.
TOTALLY know how you feel! We went to register recently, and we were so uncomfortable with the whole thing, thinking “we would never buy this stuff for ourselves”… yet I was told it’s the right thing to do, so people don’t buy you a bunch of things you don’t want or like. So I did it. But it was a really bizarre experience, I thought!
I’m a bit older than you. Old enough to have bought so many expensive blenders and pitched in to buy enough kitchenaids (which I did with joy and loving) that I am not feeling much guilt about upgrading those few things I need. And I NEED a matched set of silverware, dammit! In any case, upgrade what you want to upgrade, and donate your extras to goodwill or another organization. ta-da.
FI and I have lived together for 2 years and do well enough that we can buy all the essentials. We may upgrade some items like china (my set is missing a few plates) and linens, but there isn’t a whole lot that needs to be new. We’ll probably register for some big ticket things like a Kitchen Aid Mixer (woohoo!) but the one thing we both agree on getting is… tools! We have none. 
And eventually we’d like to buy a house and do home improvements, so we’d like to just get them now (when other people are generously paying).
amended to add: bought expensive blenders and kitchenaids at other people’s showers!
Um….You could send those Lost glasses to me. I’m jonesing for some Lost right now…. LOL! 
@polkadot: It was totally weird, right?! We were walking around like, “We already have a rice cooker, but do we really need an asparagus steamer?”
@blu77: That’s what I am hearing a lot, upgrade! We are trying to get into that frame of mind, plus I can donate all our old stuff to my little sis!@KMA: I think we’re gonna do this, if we can ever get it together….
we are in the same boat, by the time we get married I will be almost 35 and my FH 36. We have lived on our own for so long and just don’t need much. We did start a honeymoon fund and hope to get mostly donations to that but maybe you can use the same type of registry for a new sofa or dining set. People can contribute a dollar amount to the item versus asking people to buy the whole thing. We are using honeyfund.com
Yes!!! Love the LOST glasses! Sadly, only one of ours has survived Best glassware of all time.
@Miss Magic: Haha, me too! I just started scanning ridiculous things like waffle makers just because I needed to fill it up with things. But really what we need is money, not waffle makers! Ah well.
Ahh! I need those Lost glasses! Sadly, I can’t find them now! They would be a perfect wedding gift for my Lost fanatic friends! They bought Craig and I Lost Dharma hoodies as part of our wedding gift and it would be great to return the Lost (Dharma Karma?) LOL
i had the same feeling for a long time until someone explained to me that this the time to upgrade to your “forever” stuff.
for us at least, we will be traveling a bit and then we are on the baby train - which means we will have no money to buy these “forever” things as our “college/single” things wear out.
we have a very modest registry (plain white dishes for $3 bucks each? sure!)at bed bath and beyond, and then a modest honeymoon registry. some of mr. c’s family is disgusted that i don’t have a williams-sonoma registry, but do i really need a $500 dutch oven????
I know a couple who registered only for camping equipment because they had purchased everything for their house when they moved in together 2 years prior. it was fun to go to REI and climb in all the tents and look at sporks!
FH and I were in a similar situation. There were a couple items we needed to upgrade, but for the most part we didn’t need much. We did a honeymoon registry, but didn’t get too much off there. We did register for other non-kitchen items like a new set of luggage, and we registered at Menards for tools, and other things like a grill and gardening items, that we don’t have a lot of. But, it was still weird to go through and pick it all out, wondering if someone would see the registry and ask why in the world we registered for such and such item!
I hear you! We had this same problem. My fiance and I have been together (and lived together) for four years, we own our home, you could say we’ve even OVER decorated the darn thing, yet we felt compelled to do a registry.
We ended up registering at Target for things that we’d like to have but wouldn’t otherwise buy - like new luggage or some new sheets (you can never have too many nice sheets) and added a few things on there for people to buy knowing that we would likely take them back for store credit. The great thing about a place like Target is you can get the Target gift card for items returned and then use it to buy everyday household items or even groceries or new clothes for the two of you.
We also made it a point to tell the people closest to us - our bridal party - our parents - that we would prefer cash donations to our honeymoon and not gifts (given that we already have everything we could need for the house.) When this comes up casually in coversation it’s a much better result. It seems more natural for someone to be talking about the upcoming nuptials and have your cousin ask you mom what to get you and her say, “oh don’t worry about getting a gift, just throw them a little something to help out with the honeymoon, I’m sure they’d love that,” that people reading on an invite, “cash gifts please.”
We did end up with this little poem that I thought was cute but we ended up not using…
“For the couple that’s already well on their way, save the gift on their special day. It’s the thought that counts, but cash is nice… For their honeymoon, bills, or being newleyweds’ price.” I really like the idea of a poem but we couldn’t find anywhere to put it on our invites and by the time we thought of going this route, we’d already committed to the invites we had printed.
Hope this helps.
Yay! Magic equals new favorite bed for being refreshingly honest. We got married in our 30’s after living in sin for years. We still registered for and received a lot of cool stuff! Cutting boards, rice cooker, juicer, etc. We use them all. A lot!! 
We were 34 and 40 at the time of our wedding. I felt bad about registering, too, but what can you do? There was no way we were doing a honeymoon registry- it’s too new and people don’t get it, and grandmas and the like need to buy dishes for some reason.
We only moved in together about 6 months before the wedding, so of couse we have two of everything, but his was all give-me-your-handoffs bachelor stuff, and mine was cheapo stuff. We registered for new towels, dinner and glassware, along with some sheets and stuff. We have been slowly switching stuff out- we put away the new dishes and sent my old cheapies to Salvation Army, etc. The other stuff we are saving for our dream cabin someday, or we’ll just give it to my sister when she gets her act together and moves out.
What about registering at a store with more varied interests, like Target or Walmart? Then if you found a kitchen/home thing or two you wanted, zap it on there, and then otherwise you could add patio furniture for entertaining or board games for game night?
I do think that you could easily get a couple of nights at a hotel and maybe some nice dinners if you did a honeymoon registry, so maybe do that as the second one? I used honeyfund.com like a PP and what I loved is that even if you put all these different items and their prices, what it boils down to is you get the money (so it doesn’t HAVE to go toward whatever was “purchased” if that makes sense.)
Of course, if all else fails you could just go straight for the Babies R Us registry
We will both be 40 when we get married and have waaaaay too much stuff as it is so we aren’t registering.
Also we are having a wedding that involves travel and hotel expenses for every guest so it seemed wrong to ask for gifts on top of the money people are putting out just to get there.
We’ve each been established and had our own houses before getting together, so we even had to give away/sell a bunch of doubles and triples of stuff.
What we ended up registering for - over the course of many weeks/months - were the nice-to-have things that we didn’t need, we wanted - but wouldn’t splurge on ourselves to get yet.
Things like a better rolling pin, a proper can opener, a matching set of tupperware, some video games, and upgrades for a few things like old/burned/mismatched pot holders, towels, sheets, and the dreamy pillows that I’d never pay that much for myself.
What we also made sure of was that the stores we registered at have gift cards so that if someone wanted us to have the $500 super-powered stand mixer I’ve drooled over all my adult life but couldn’t get it for us themselves, a few of them will opt for gift cards and we’ll be able to buy it and tell them specifically what their gift card helped us get.
Oh - and it helps to keep a list on the fridge for the times when you think to yourself “I wish I had a better —– than this one” and you can jot it down, then add it to your registry later.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Mrs. Magic, Chapel Hill, NC Age and Occupation: 30, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Researcher Engagement Date: December 1, 2009 Wedding Date: October 2011 Venue: Barn at Valhalla About Me: I’m a tall drink of water (5’10”!) and a Southern bride with an enormous appetite for Mexican food, good deals, anything French, and all things wedding! By day I am lucky enough to work with individuals with autism and their families. By night, I’m even luckier to be able to spend time hanging out with awesome friends, crafting, shopping, thinking about exercising, and kicking it with Mr. Magic and our two cats. I tend to have sudden, intense cravings that will not be denied (seafood enchiladas! new jeans!) and I’m prone to being a disorganized mess of anxiety and stress. After waiting (and waiting!) to get engaged, I am finally planning the colorful, fun, fabulously awesome Fall wedding of our dreams. In an effort to share the fun and craziness that is wedding planning, I’m gonna blog about it for y’all---the good, the bad, and the pretty!
| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 29 | 30 | 31 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 |
| 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |
| 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 |
| 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 |
Latest Gallery Pics