Weddingbee Blog

Originally posted on July 31st, 2010

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It’s time to get down to the nitty-gritty. Let’s talk about the actual ceremony portion of our wedding. I think this is the most wide-open detail of the day so I’ve really dreaded putting pen to paper, so to speak, and writing out what will go down. It’s also touchy for me because I know Mr. G’s parents won’t be there to celebrate with us which makes me want to cry! It would be really nice to have both of our parents there but Mr. G’s parents will be with us in spirit; I’ll leave it at that.

We won’t be having a religious ceremony as Mr. G is atheist and I’m Buddhist, but want to keep it as neutral as possible. And oh yeah, we’ll already be married! See what I mean by wide-open? All the traditional things that usually happen at a ceremony don’t need to happen at ours!

We need to pick an “officiant” of sorts who can at least MC what’s going to happen. We want our ceremony to be silly and fun and emotional and meaningful. Just how will we accomplish this?

I would love to see an (extract) reading of “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” by Dr. Seuss, if one of our friends would like to do it (I know you guys read this!).

For Mr. G’s mum, a reading of 1 Corinthians 13:4:

Love is patient, love is kind

It is not jealous, is not pompous,

it is not inflated, it is not rude,

it does not seek it’s own interests,

it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing

but rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.

If you’ve never heard “I Like You” by Sandol Stoddard Warburg, Google it! It’s so cute and describes our quirky, kid-like personalities perfectly.

Lastly, Mr. G’s mum sent me a very sweet book of vows. It included this Apache wedding blessing:

Now you will feel no rain,

for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold,

for each of you will be warmth to the other.

Now there will be no loneliness,

for each of you will be companion to the other.

Now you are two persons,

but there is only one life before you.

May beauty surround you both in the

journey ahead and through all the years,

May happiness be your companion and

your days together be good and long upon the earth.

I’ve asked Mr. G to think of a reading he would like to see as well, for his brothers to read. He needs some time to think!

A big part of our ceremony is going to be yet another Japanese appropriation, the san san kyudo ceremony. San san kyudo literally means three-three-nine times and it’s where we get to drink! Hooray! Mr. G and I are big drinkers. Our early relationship was alcohol soaked. Hey, give us a break, the company we were working for had just gone bankrupt and we hadn’t been paid in a while! But the san san kyudo is a traditional element of a Shinto wedding ceremony and is rife with meaning. Odd numbers are believed to be lucky in Japan, and nine is especially so because it is a multiple of three. There are three stacked cups (more like dishes with deep sides), each larger than the first, in which an unmarried female relative pours three pours of sake. The smallest cup goes first; the relative fakes the first two pours and then pours a real on for the third. The bride drinks three sips and then sake is poured for the groom who also drinks it in three sips. Then the middle and larger cup are used. The small cup represents heaven, the middle one earth, and the largest for humankind. After all three cups are finished, the bride and groom pass out and the guests draw on them with magic markers.

After the san-san-kyudo, Mr. G and I will say a few words about each other, as much as I can get out until I’m a mess of heaping sobs and hiccups. Oh, I’m a crier alright! We’ll close with the traditional vows:

I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

By which point only dogs will be able to hear me. We’ll exchange rings and then someone can pronounce us husband and wife, I guess without the “by the powers vested in me” bit, and we can officially be announced as Mr. and Mrs. Glasses! I am planning on going through the torture known as changing my name the week of the ceremony. I won’t even change my name on Facebook until that day.

So our ceremony will be a little silly—we are fond of the silliness. But we also have a spot for the love. (A gold star for you if you can tell me where that’s from!)

What traditions are you incorporating into your ceremony?