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We all go through it. We send out our invites and then patiently wait every day to check the mail and see those RSVPs come in. At first it’s exciting because you get several cards a day from guests that are so excited to share the day with you. Then the responses go from a flow to a trickle, some days not receiving even one card.
The due date comes and goes, and there are still some slackers that you have yet to hear from. You and your family start making calls, sending emails, texts, and Facebook messages—anything just to get a response. Is it really that hard to put a self addressed and stamped card back in the mail??
The No and Yes piles
We did get to whip out the black light pen for two postcards that were left blank.
We also had a joker or two try and add more guests then their card allowed for.
Love you BM Cali!
I’m a numbers person, so I always love seeing the guest list break down on Weddingbee. Our total includes the 18 additional guests that we invited after we started getting more “no” responses. The RSVP date for the second set was March 12.
Total guests invited: 222
Total guests from out of town: 143 (64%)
Total guests RSVP by date: 198 (89%)
Total Yes: 123 (55.4%), of which 47.2% are out of town, 52.8% in town
Total No: 101 (45.5%)
What’s that, you say? My math is off? Well, that is no fault of mine. After I was all happy that we had received all of the RSVPs, I was informed that there are two “surprise” guests that will be coming to the wedding that were not actually sent an invite (they were invited by another couple that is coming to the wedding). This was after I finished the table assignments which left only single seats here and there. Was I upset about this? Just a tad. I didn’t understand why they were never included in the original invite list since they are pretty amazing friends of my parents (the guy was a groomsman in my parents’ wedding and the couple was along for the ride to the hospital as Mama E was going into labor with me), but it all worked out and I know Daddy E is going to be so surprised when they show up from Canada.
Honestly, I was pretty stressed about how many invites we were sending out. We ideally wanted 150 people, but with such a high out-of-town percentage (which I identified as anyone more then two hours away) we knew we would have a higher “no” percentage than average.
As always, there were people that we thought would be a yes, but are not able to come. Similarly, there were “oh they won’t come” family invites that will actually be making the trip from the East Coast. Mama E thinks this may be because I am the last niece on that side of the family to get married (mom is the second youngest of 7 girls, so all of my first cousins are much older). I know our RSVP by date percentage would have been WAY lower if we didn’t start nudging guests for responses the week of the due date.
So there you have it—the Elephant wedding will be a loving, celebratory crowd of 125 (including the bride and groom) and we’re so excited to get this party started!
How was your RSVP situation? Did you have to follow up with numerous guests that did not respond? What was your final head count compared to the number you were hoping for? Did you have any “surprise” guests?
Our deadline is quickly approaching. We have only received 33% of the response cards. My fiance’ and his parents will contact his guests and we will contact ours. We will reach out via email, facebook or telephone. We anticipated this happening, so we gave ourselves plenty of time to follow-up. Our wedding is May 21st. It can be terribly frustrating, but I’m taking it all in stride. I remind myself that if just me, my fiance’ and the minister show up…I’m good. 
The 12 people attending with only 2 seats reserved is too funny… probably because it gave me the image of how many people can fit in a phone booth but with those 2 chairs….LOL
AMEN, SISTER.
I chalked it up to people just losing track of their correspondences. You will get tons right away and then tons three days prior to the deadline!
Another way to look at it: the locals were about twice as likely to RSVP yes than the out-of-towners (82.2% vs. 40.6%). This rough estimate will be very useful as we plan our guest list. My dad is one of seven, with siblings all over the country.
We are hoping to keep our guest list to 125 because of budget reasons & I am FREAKING out about trying to determine how many people to invite & how many of those will actually come. I have nightmares that every single person we invite shows up at the wedding & there’s not enough food.
ughhh, I haven’t gotten an rsvp in over a week and the deadline is April 1st. Drop them in the mail people!!! We still have over 50% unaccounted for and it’s driving me nuts! I feel ya Miss E
I had a family friend RSVP ‘maybe’. Heh. Thanks, that’s helpful…
Also, I can relate with your added guests experience. One of my uncles called me a week after the invitations went out and said that ’so-and-so did not get their invitation yet’. Well, that’s because ’so-and-so’ wasn’t invited… But I felt bed, because the couple is a good friend of my parents and my uncle had apparently talked to them about the wedding, so I sent them an invitation. It’s stressful to think of EVERYONE who you and your family is close to.
Also, very frustrating that people didn’t write their names on their RSVPs… Good think you were prepared and able to play detective!
Our Wedding is in 2 weeks and I still haven’t received responses from some… We call and they don’t answer or call back. If you can’t come people that is fine but just tell me!!!! Sorry to vent on your post!
Miss E, your organizational skills are to be admired. Yes Papa E and I threw you a curve ball with the extra late couple coming from Canada.. but you again hit it out of the park. Just be glad you weren’t getting married in the ’70’s when extra people just showed up at your wedding. I love those RSVP’s
we did an email RSVP thinking it would be easier than having to fill out a postcard, find a mailbox, etc… WRONG! i’ve had to create a facebook page just to get some people to respond. and mind you, these are local people who for months since our engagement was announced gushed about how EXCITED they were to come to our wedding. right…so excited you can’t RSVP for an event in town in a timely fashion…
it’s so hard not to take it personally but i do. i keep thinking that if it was really important to them they’d do it sooner. i’m also frustrated at family on my fiance’s side who are RSVPing to his mom — where was that instructed on the invite?
i keep hoping that chanting my mantra of ‘good enough is good enough’ will get me through the RSVP blues, but i’m thinking it might take wine as well.
good luck, ladies!
Our deadline is March 30 and we have not heard from over 50%. I really hate the thought of chasing these folks down. UGH!!!
You are right, at first the stream of RSVPs in the mailbox is exciting and consistent…then it trickles down to almost nothing - one here, one there. 
One word to start - Amen! I totally feel I could’ve written so much of this post.
I know right..how hard is it? You already prestamped everything…sigh!
I had several people not send RSVPs and I had to work on emailing/FB msging..etc. to get them to reply. Some of them I either got calls that said they couldn’t make it, but still never send the RSVP card….and then others I just hadn’t heard from at all, and knowing what I know of them and such, I just wrote them off as no’s.
As for expectations of people…well out of my 99 guests, I did hope just about all could attend….but as that’s not the case, we ended up actually getting pretty dead on to our ‘baseline’ # of guests *not including me and my FI) is 65.
We’ll just see what happens now…
I’m 6 weeks out and STILL have a lot to do. Sigh..anyway..Miss E - Good luck!
Definitely agree with this post!
Our RSVP deadline was last Saturday. I gave everyone until Monday before I started harrassing them. I think we had 20 or so non-responders which I’ve (actually, FIL) has whittled down to about 9 that I am still waiting to hear from. Most are friends of my Mom and a few of my grooms friends.
We invited 140 and right now we have 110 attending which is a good number.. I kind of hope it stays right there!!
that’s awesome that your parents friends will be able to attend though even if you have to do some re-arranging. I’m finding that the seating chart is my trickiest tackle yet!
@Dee: That’s a great way to think about it! If it was just Mr. E, me and the officiant we would still be good to go
@Miss Smashville: I totally know what you’re going through. My mom and Mr. E can tell you about my wedding nightmares of either too many guests (although our venue could fit them all) to my dreams about no one being there…I hope everything works out for you!
@JackieDe: That was really nice of you to send out the invite after the fact! I might do that, or at least have one for them (in case they want to keep it) when they get into the states. I’ve heard the mail to Canada can sometimes take a really long time.
@FutureMrsRacecar: Vent away! We technically still have a couple that never responded, never returned any of my dad’s calls. I think they are still upset that we are not having kids at our wedding. After 3 phone calls/messages we just chalked them up as a no.
@Leann: OMG! That’s how I felt about people that even posted our invites on facebook when they got them because they were so excited. Then I had to call them the week of due date because they never responded.
@mizzbaseball: The seating chart was pretty tricky! I hope yours works out! We ended up putting them at a table that had 9, so now it will be 11. It won’t be a squeeze, but maybe a little tight with the table settings. At least they will be at a table with people they know!
Argh, people can be HOPELESS at sending back RSVPs! I feel your pain. In the end, I just called most of our guests to get a proper answer.
At least you found out about your “surprise guests” before they just showed up at the wedding!
There’s definitely some nudging down the road for us. I’m glad you’re happy with your final number, though! I feel like a part of me is constantly holding my breath until all invitees are accounted for.
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Mrs. Elephant, Dallas, TX Age and Occupation: 27, Financial Operations Analyst Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, IT Student/Store Manager Engagement Date: March 29, 2009 Wedding Date: April 2011 Venue: The Tribute Golf Club About Me: I'm a Philly native creating roots deep in the heart of Texas. I might be a little obsessed capturing those Kodak moments of anything and everything (mainly on vacations). I've become more of a gamer thanks to Mr. Elephant, who I met online and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. We are planning a wedding based on our favorite colors, blue and green, with a travel theme for 150 of our closest friends and family. Hopefully our long (2-year) engagement won't kill me!
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