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I love to dance. I took dance lessons from age five until college, where I decided I couldn’t live without it, so I took tap classes for a couple semesters.
My dad…well, he didn’t share my enthusiasm for dancing. He dreaded going to my sister’s and my dance recitals every year. (No worries, I totally understand. Sitting and watching something you don’t enjoy for four hours every year for 14 years is PAINFUL, so way to go H-Dad for being there anyway!)
Because of this, I am pretty sure I have never once in my life danced with my dad. Not only that, but I’m pretty sure we have nothing musical in common. He listens to hard rock from the ’70s, mainly, which is pretty much the only genre I’m not interested in.
The only song in his musical library I can remember liking when I was a kid is Led Zeppelin’s “Lemon Song,” but I just looked up the lyrics, and they are NOT appropriate and will NOT be making an appearance at the wedding!
Get those boys some haircuts! (source)
When I mentioned doing a father/daughter dance—because that’s what you do, not because I really was looking forward to it—I don’t think H-Dad was that into the idea. I know it’s tradition, and Mr. Hyena wants to do a mother/son dance, but it feels like it’s forcing something that H-Dad and I just don’t have. We’re close, but a different kind of close. We enjoy going on walks together and talking hot-button issues. Can we go on a wedding walk instead?
John Cleese’s Ministry of Silly Walks!
So what to do, what to do? It was a long shot, but I went through the entire discographies of Led Zeppelin and The Who to see if there were any songs that could be even REMOTELY construed as a potential father/daughter dance song. If your dad is like mine, save yourself the trouble—there’s not. So I turned to my darling fiancé.
“Mr. Hyenaaaaaaa…I can’t find a song to dance with my dad to!”
“So then don’t do one if you don’t want to.”
“But you wanted to dance with your mom.”
“Just because there’s not an official dance doesn’t mean I won’t have the chance.”
Have I ever mentioned I have the best fiancé ever?! As long as he’s happy with this arrangement, I’m happy too. So I called H-Dad and offered this suggestion, and he was pleased. Now my dad doesn’t have to dance, we don’t have to find a song, and it’ll be more of an “us” wedding. I don’t really like the idea of doing something merely for tradition’s sake when there’s nothing personal about it, and now I don’t have to.
Does your dad have different taste in music than you?
There is the Zepplin song “The Ocean.” No, it doesn’t work for a traditional dance, but the lyrics do say “Now I’m singing all my songs to the girl who won my heart.
She is only three years old and it’s a real fine way to start.” You could sneak it in there and have an unofficial dance with your dad.
I’m dancing with my dad to the Who’s “Baby Don’t You Do It”. It’s fun and upbeat, but I think it’s great that you guys are being true to yourselves and not doing something just because it’s tradition!
My father and my grandfather passed 4 years ago but my mom was the person who did everything for me so we are going to dance at the reception instead.
We also prefer not to do things just for tradition’s sake, so I’m glad things worked out for everyone! My Dad definitely has different taste in music from me, but he still has good taste (if that makes sense)!
Hyena. Your FI sounds adorable. Bless his heart! You know, in all seriousness, I love the idea of a father/daughter walk. This would give you two time to have a quiet moment and take a step back from everything going on that day. Even if it is only for a few minutes.
I have never seen my dad dance before either! And I haven’t brought up the topic to him yet….I know that my mom would love to see us have our first dance, but now i have to pluck something from the 70s that my dad likes. This should be interesting!
You have to find what works for you! I think traditions are great as they give you a lot of ways to add meaningful fun moments during the day but you can still skip them or personalize them!
I grew up listening to my dad’s music so I have to admit we have similar tastes. But we don’t really have the kind of relationship where we would really enjoy dancing in a spotlight together…. We’re both very shy and private people, so it just seemed like a bad idea. No point in doing something if you’re not even going to enjoy it.
My dad and I did multiple father/daughter dances when I was in dance as a kid. He is so excited about the father/daughter dance at the wedding - he is keeping what songs (yes, we will actually be dancing twice he’s so crazy about it) we dance to a secret until the wedding!
My dad has insisted on a father daughter dance at our wedding. Our tastes in music are different and since it’s one of the moments he’s looking forward to most, I thought he’d enjoy picking out the song. How wrong I was. It’s causing him insane amounts of stress and our wedding isn’t for another 6 months. Who knew?
My dad loves to dance, so we’ll be cutting a rug. Mr. H sounds very sweet! It’s very freeing to slough off those “traditions” that don’t mean anything to you and focus on the things that are more important to you!
I have never been to a wedding where there were father/daughter dances or mother/son dances. Until I started visiting wedding websites I was totally unaware of them. You made the right choice; doing anything merely because you think you “should” is a bad idea! 
At the risk of sounding like an old fuddy-duddy (and admitting that I’m probably close to your dad’s age), I think that Robert Plant (upper left corner) looked smokin’ hot back then on the cover of that Led Zeppelin album.
@Crown: I saw him in concert last month…yea, still hot!
Hyena, you’re awesome! I think a silly walk would be an excellent addition to any wedding, haha. Your solution to the dance conundrum sounds wonderfully sane.
Ha my dad is crazy over 70s metal/rock too 
Im glad you could find a solution that you both felt comfortable with
Way to be yourself!
On a completely different note: I’m a Texan/Sooner Musical Theater grad. I spent 4 years in that tap studio (before you got there, class of ‘03) and loved every minute of my time at OU. BOOMER!
Yes. We are polar opposites. I’m just letting him pick it out, because it’s a battle I’m not willing to fight :).
Mr. Hyena is so smart! I’m surprised at the clever suggestions Mr. P has come up with. I ought to listen to him more often.
@panterapeach: You know, that’s a seriously good idea. I might have to find a way to work that into the day…@Titaniumspork: Maybe it’s a Midwest thing? I’ve never been to a wedding where there wasn’t a father daughter dance, but I haven’t seen very many mother-son dances.@Crown: Nothing wrong with that!
@hollisfair: SOONER! I loved tap!
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Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TX Age and Occupation: 23, Marketing Specialist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad Student Engagement Date: January 8, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Downtown 202 About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
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