Weddingbee Blog

Catch up on the entire After “I Do” series here! And if you have a burning question you’d like to see discussed, submit it here!

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Do you and your spouse plan “date nights” now that you’re married? What’s the most fun date you’ve been on since getting married?

With our crazy work travel schedules, we’ve made a point that every Friday night is date night, as it is often the only night of the week that we are able to be together in the same city as just the two of us.

We have an ongoing Outlook “appointment” in our respective calendars that starts at 6PM (so if we’re traveling, we try to be back in the city by 6), and typically go out to dinner. About half the time we try a new place, and the other half we go to one of our favorite restaurants. I’m not sure if I have a particular favorite date night, but I love starting out the weekend with a dinner together—I’m typically stressed out from work at the start, but by the end, I’m totally relaxed and ready for the weekend.

On the instances where the Friday night isn’t going to work (like this weekend, where my in laws are in town), we reschedule it an either move it earlier in the week, or push it back to Sunday night.

Since we got married, our professional lives have changed a lot and we are probably the most boring couple EVAHR. We plan date nights, but they are the least exciting things in the universe. We don’t usually even go out to eat, since we’re trying to cut back and chances are we’ve already used up our once a week dine out card on a random weeknight because we both got home too late or were too tired to cook. Instead, we’ll plan a night that we won’t scramble at the last minute to throw a haphazard meal together (by, for example, buying groceries for a specific recipe in advance) and open a bottle of wine. We probably do this once a week, or every other week. Or if we really just need to get out, we might stop at a wine bar for a drink before dinner.

Once in awhile, when the weather is nice, we’ll plan a weekend trip to one of the many local botanical gardens (we live near Descanso Gardens and the Los Angeles Arboretum and the Huntington Gardens, so we might as well get outside occasionally!), but that is usually a more “last minute” daytime date, so it doesn’t count, right? Does it?

Mr. MJ and I didn’t necessarily have dates even *before* we got married, so I wouldn’t say that has changed now. (I know some people consider any time they go out to eat to be a date, but we don’t.) However, we always do our absolutely best to reserve our Friday nights for each other. We might be distracted by work, school, and other commitments at any other time of the week, but we always try to keep our Fridays open. We don’t usually go anywhere though: we often order a pizza or Chinese takeout and eat it in front of our TV while watching some Netflix rentals. I look forward to these nights all week—they’re the perfect “date” for a couple of homebodies like ourselves!

We do this thing called f(h)ood, usually on Friday nights, where we try a new-to-us place in our neighborhood. It’s proven to be a good way to explore and do something small and special together.

More special date nights come around payday and involve ten-dollar cocktails! My favorite one since we got married was probably going out to a medium-nice dinner (with the aforementioned drinks), then seeing Jackass in 3D. The compromise on both our parts was admirable, I thought.

We LOVE date nights! We have been living on a very tight budget so going out regularly hasn’t been an option for us. Instead we’ll plan an evening to be really intentional together—no passing out in front of the TV at the Seahorse household (on date night)! We’ll play games, cook dinner together, or even just sit and read books together. It’s less about the activity and more about the active decision to spend time together. Probably once a month we do go out for (cheap) dinner, and even though it’s nothing fancy, it’s nice to spend time just the two of us (no cat trying to jump on our laps while we eat) and feel like we’re doing something special.

We don’t do regular date nights. We would rather spend our money on food (we eat a lot of organic and local and such) and save it up for vacations and trips to see his family in Poland. We are happy when we do our own thing, talking to each other throughout the evening and watching Jon Stewart together while we eat the dinner I made for us.

I just wanted to add my two cents for anyone who felt like something is wrong if they aren’t really a “every Friday date night” kind of couple. A few years ago I wrote about the kind of dates we love to have. Right now we are saving up to eat at Alinea in Chicago! It’s so expensive that it’s going to take us the entire two years to get there, but we’re willing to save up our pennies every month to make it happen!

We never stopped having date night after we got engaged/married. Most Fridays you can find us out to dinner and a movie, sometimes with friends, sometimes just us. It gaves us that time to just kick back and relax together after being on the go all week. Mr. Meerkat and I are pretty low key, so with the exception of traveling, going out to dinner and good movie is one of our favorite things to do.

If we don’t do fairly regular date nights, our relationship suffers. We both work long hours and even when we’re home we don’t talk a lot—there’s always more work for me to do, and because I work at home the only real way for us to connect is to get out of the house (because I am not disciplined enough to stay off of the computer and Mr. Peng glues himself to the TV most nights).

In the summers our dates consist more of hiking, but during the winter months we definitely take a minimum of once a week to really splurge on a fun meal out and decompress, just the two of us. Just being out of the house and away from the TV and computer with Mr. Penguin (doing anything, really) is really important for me, because I associate our home with work. I’m pretty content to stay at home, but Mr. Penguin likes going out and having a great meal or taking advantage of what the Bay Area has to offer. I think he really just likes me to get up and shower, more than anything.

I can tell that we both fall into a bit of a disarray as each weekday passes. We disconnect more and regress into zombie-like routines. Friday night really revives our relationship, and we never, ever, spend it at home/in the house.

Plus, is it just me, or if you don’t go out on Friday night, do you feel like the weekend seems a TON shorter? Sometimes we’re tired and go to bed at 9PM on Friday (vs. spending it out on the town until midnight). I ALWAYS regret it. It’s like a robbery of an entire 1/2 day of WEEKEND time!

We’re not really date ’night’ people. Apparently, I like to pass out around 9:30PM. So our new favorite meal is Linner. For those of you saving your pennies, this the perfect way to date: two meals in one!!

Last Saturday the weather here was pretty great, with crisp  sunshine. We left the house at noon, went on a six mile hike from our house to the ocean and back with the dog. We dropped the dog off, and then walked straight to a restaurant that is a bit of a splurge. At 3:30PM, the normally packed place was half empty, so we stretched out on a big booth and devoured a ton of food. After lunch and a few glasses of wine, we caught the 5PM movie. The day ended with a pint of ice cream at home.

It was a perfect day. A bit of a splurge with linner AND a movie, but having the whole day just to ourselves was amazing. Not to mention, getting out of the house on Saturday made for a perfect excuse to barely leave the house on Sunday when it started to rain.

Both of our schedules are totally nuts, so we like to find an evening every week where we can go out and enjoy ourselves. We love taking advantage of restaurant.com and their crazy deals to find new restaurants in our neighborhood. In past years, we have always tried to take “daycations” and check out activities that are close by. When we lived in Syracuse, it was trips to nearby quaint towns and the plethora of living museums in the area. Wwe like to find hidden gems around NYC, most recently, a day at the spa! Even if we don’t have a chance to go on “dates” we always remember how important our time together is, and plan around that. We’re also perfectly happy with dinner at home followed by Boggle/Rumikub/Scrabble and hanging out with our cat!

We don’t really have to plan date nights since we spend nearly every second that we aren’t at work with each other. We go out, we have fun, but I don’t really consider them “dates” since we’re married and it’s just what we do. We do have our routines though—going out for oysters on Wednesdays, usually out to eat on Fridays, then on Saturdays and Sundays we go out together to do something fun and see my parents.

Our most fun “dates” since we got married have been on some Sundays where we go into Philly in the afternoon and go to our favorite bar, Tria. We sit, drink, eat and talk for hours and we never get tired of it. Those are our favorite kinds of days.

We have a once a week mandatory date night rule in our house! Currently, our “date nights” aren’t particularly exciting since we’re totally broke. We usually just cook a fancier-than-usual meal, open a bottle of wine, and watch a movie from Netflix. Basically, the point for us is that we have a night with absolutely no phones, no computers, and no isolating activities (like him playing video games for three hours). It’s nice to have that time just for us, and even though we don’t really go out to do anything, it’s still a special date night!

I’d say we go one a more “real” date about once a month - dinner and a movie, usually, because we’re boring and live in a town where there isn’t much to do. We’re also big on Saturday trips to antique stores, etc. It’s all about just making time to be together!

At the moment, we’re more of a “date lunch” couple, because it is affordable and fits better into our schedules. Every Saturday we choose a different cafe to go to for that lunch, and then the date culminates in the oh-so-romantic task of getting the weekly groceries (actually, it can be a lot of fun ). We make a point of trying to keep Sunday afternoon for “us time,”—no work/study allowed, and we usually end up relaxing with junk food and a movie during that time. Our most fun date since we got married actually happened last week, and was completely spontaneous. I was having a crappy day. Mr E could see my grumpiness escalating so he said, “whatever you are doing, it can wait. Let’s go out.” So we did, at 2PM. We went to our favourite place for a piece of chocolate silk pie and then we went book shopping. Books + Chocolate + Mr E? Perfect

We’re not really dinner-daters. We go out to eat about once a week, but I don’t think we consider it a date unless we’re springing for a really nice dinner. Instead, our “dates” are usually day trips to do things/go places that either one or both of us have never done before. Horseback riding, rock climbing, checking out a new museum, etc. We’re both a bit adventurous and get bored doing the same things over and over. For us, doing activities instead of just your typical “dinner and a movie” helps to keep things fresh and exciting!

It’s really important to Mr. Octo and me to feel like we still have a dating relationship. Neither of us are homebodies, especially, so if we have too many nights in a row of dinner/TV/computer/bed, it gives us both cabin fever. As far as what the dates are, specifically, we aren’t too picky. We can’t afford too many full-blown dinners out right now, but trying new restaurants is probably our favorite date when we’re in a more financially comfortable spot. We also like movies, museums, bars, coffee shops, heading to a different neighborhood in the city and wandering around…whatever, really, as long as it gets us out of the house and having fun.

My favorite date we’ve had in a while actually took place before we got married. The Museum of Science here in Boston was holding a special Harry Potter exhibit that showed all different sets, costumes, and props from the movies. So, you could wander through the Great Hall, Hagrid’s hut, stuff like that. It. Was. AMAZIIIING!

We’re really big on dates. But not traditional dinner and a movie dates—more fun stuff that creates good memories. My favorite by far was when I packed a great picnic lunch, a portable speaker and iPod, and some drinks. We took our canoe to a quiet spot on the river, and enjoyed an afternoon on the water with each other’s company. Things like that matter the most to us. They also speak to our light wallets in these hard economical times!

We’ve never had a specific weekly date night, but one of our favorite things to do is go out for meals and try new restaurants. Unfortunately we’ve had to cut that back a lot since money is tight, so now we’ll make food at home together and spend the evening hanging out with each other. We’re total homebodies now so this works for us! But when we do want to get out, one of our favorite things to do is take a weekend day and go exploring. Either we head to the coast or go for a hike, or find a new place in the city that we haven’t been to yet. As others have said, it’s not so much where we go or what we do, but making sure that we carve out time for us to be together.

A lot of our “dates” are walking around the park near our apartment, grabbing coffees and sitting down to talk for a while. We go out to eat a lot now too and I’ll put on “real” makeup (more than tinted moisturizer/mascara!) and have cocktails; something to signify that this is more than a regular dinner, it’s a date.

I’m going to sound like a lush but I think alcohol is pretty key—it gets us past talking about work and ordinary life stuff and puts us in a lighter mood! It’s harder to get doe eyes for someone when he’s talking about rent payments.

We don’t have a set “date night” each week, but we do need to make an effort to carve out time for each other. Mr. T’s work schedule is just insane sometimes, and I’m focused on the puppy after my set 10-6. So sometimes we commute in to work together and it feels like a date to just have time with each other on the train, and this Saturday we had a nice date dinner night with a Groupon for a local Italian place. It’s SO so important when schedules are busy. Sure, we live together and sleep next to each other, but it can easily turn into a hi-bye roommate relationship when our attention is elsewhere. I love date nights with my husband when attention is just on one another. Highly recommend.

We do plan date nights because I really crave them. We are so guilty of just falling into our routines when we get home from work, that I like when we have date nights just to focus on one another and our relationship. And, they don’t have to be anything fancy, just a time for us to connect together away from stress, work, etc. But, I do love when we can both get dressed up, especially because Mr. Fro Yo can wear shorts and t-shirt to work every day, so it’s nice to see him in something a little fancier.

Oh gosh, I wish we had date nights! Not that I feel bad for not having them, but Mr. Buttons and I don’t really make it a point to schedule them. Every once in a while we decide to go out for a nice dinner (we had a verrry nice one for our 6 month wedding anniversary), but we usually tend to spend time with our families rather than out at a restaurant/movie theater/etc alone. We pretty much have a regular routine for our weeks, but it is nice to break away from it every once in a while if we decide to go out on a date. I will say though: I usually have to give Mr. Buttons a friendly reminder to think about taking me out every once in a while

We usually chill on Friday nights because we both are tired from the work day. On Saturday nights we like to, (what else?) go out and drink. We aren’t fancy people at all, we like going to hole in the wall places before doing a pub crawl in a new part of town. If we don’t feel like drinking we try to find new Japanese restaurants comparable to our old Tokyo haunts! We don’t like to stay in but we like having low key nights out—is that considered a proper date night?

We don’t do scheduled date nights or call them that but we like to eat (a lot) and going out to dinner together is probably our number one activity. Like Ribbons mentioned, throw in a bottle of wine and we’re two drunk idiots giggling at each other, and it is one of my most favorite times ever.

We love scheduling date nights. We love trying new restaurants. I literally only ate chicken, potatoes, chocolate, and vegetables before I met Mr. Starfish, so he loves taking me to restaurants and getting me to try new things. I went from a picky eater to a pretty brave eater, I’ll pretty much try anything at this point. Eating out is fun for us because it’s always a new experience.

For the most part our “dates” are low key. Sometimes we’ll plan a date and it ends up being take out and a movie on-demand. Those are my favorite.

We don’t have specific planned date nights, but we do have a Sunday night tradition that we started after we were married. One Sunday a month, we go to a local Italian restaurant, sit at the bar, enjoy a couple half liters of red wine and yummy pasta, while enjoying each other’s company. It’s fantastic, just the two of us, and very romantic even though we’re surrounded by dozens of people.

For some reason I hate the phrase “date night,” but we do try to make time to spend together just the two of us. I mean, we’re together every evening and weekend and we car pool to work, but we’re usually in our own worlds: I’m editing posts for Weddingbee, while the Dude is playing NCAA Football on his Playstation or reading sports articles on his laptop. Recently we started a Friday-night thing, and I love it. The Dude picks me up from work, and we go out somewhere and have a drink or a burger. I love our new tradition, and I hope we keep it up for a while!

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What about you? Do you have regular date nights now that you’re married? What do you do?