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I’ve diagnosed myself with dress doubt disorder. I can do that…I’m a licensed clinical social worker, so I am fully qualified. Plus, I made the disorder up, and the person who makes up the disorder can diagnose anyone they want. I just made that rule up, too.
Anyway, I’ve got the DDD. My behaviors include lusting after classic all-lace dresses and wondering if I should have gone that route. An all-lace dress was my second choice gown, after all. Until I decided they were “trite.” What was I thinking???
Dress by Priscilla of Boston / Vineyard Collection Nora
Oh Vineyard Nora, how I could have maybe loved you…
Or looking at all the new lines coming out, and sighing, and wondering if I should have waited. I also obsessively replay all the positive and negative comments (and facial expressions) that people have made regarding my dress, and I weigh them against one another. The positive comments weigh as much as feather pillows while the negative ones tend to resemble bricks. That’s part of the disorder, too.
I think about just walking upstairs to try on my dress that is just hanging up there [side note: I read somewhere that you aren’t supposed to hang your dress for a long time, and instead should wrap it in a sheet and stick it under the bed. That sounds like a really, really bad idea since I have a peeing princess, AKA my cat Isabella, in the house and she likes to pee on things. Thoughts?] and reassure myself that my dress is The One…but then I decide that 1.) I don’t trust my own opinion, obviously, and 2.) Maybe the problem is that I look in the mirror and think the dress looks nice, but really the problem is that it does not look good in photos. All the photos of me in the sample dress are not good. So even if I did try my dress on and was happy with how it looked in the mirror, it doesn’t matter because the pics don’t lie.
Then I think, “But my friends love it, and they aren’t fashion disasters. Quite the opposite!” These are the same friends who once plotted and executed a (semi) successful intervention to extricate me from the throes of too many 3/4-length-sleeved rugby shirts. Clearly, they must have some fashion knowledge!
Image via New Look
OK, maybe I wore these types of shirts like they were my uniform in college.
But then, on the other hand, I worry that maybe my friends just saw how much I loved (thought I loved???) the dress and just agreed with me that it was a beautiful dress, and now they are stuck because I went and bought the damn thing, and they never DREAMED I would make such a disastrous mistake!!! Well, I showed them, didn’t I???
In the end, no matter the reassurances my friends give me, it doesn’t help at all because my disordered brain has decided that they are all lying to protect my feelings. Really the dress is hideous but they all know it’s bought and paid off and I can’t afford another one, so they will just tell me it’s gorgeous and maybe I can delude myself into thinking it is on the day of until I see the photos from our wedding and realize I looked completely ridiculous and sooooooooo 2011.
Catastrophizing much? I think so. I clearly have a problem.
Should I try the dress on, or wrap it up in a sheet and put it under the bed for Isabella to pee on?
LOL at your question! I think it’s about the feeling rather than how it looks in person vs pictures. Go try it on (then hang it back up, cat pee is not a good accessory!) and if you feel happy and beautiful, it’s right. 
I was JUST having this conversation! I get so many doubts too, because I picked my dress the first time I tried one on, and haven’t seen it since. And I loooove lace dresses and keep wondering if I should have held out for lace too! But I think you have to trust that your initial instinct was the right one and if you loved it then, you will love it again on your wedding day. There will always be tons of other beautiful dresses out there, but yours will be equally beautiful!
Have you posted any pics of it yet?
I have dress doubt too! Even though my engagement was 9 months the stores kept telling me it would take that long for a dress to come in so I felt REALLY RUSHED to buy something. I bought a dress and then instantly wished I would have looked longer (especially when it came in after only 5 months!) But to make matters worse the store misrepresented the dress and clipped me into in a way to make it look different (it’s an A line and I wanted a mermaid shape so they clipped it at the knees to make it look that way!) I have gone so far as to have the alteration lady take in the sides all the way to the knee… but what if that ruins the dress!?! I’m really worried… but in the end—it really is only a dress that you will only wear for a few hours on one day. It will be beautiful—your friends would have said something if it was bad! Your happiness and super confident attitude that day is what will make you most beautiful. I say try it on—if you hate it try to sell it. If you don’t hate it—let it be and focus on another detail.
I have the DDD too…and sadly no princess, could I borrow Isabelle?
When’s the first DDD Anon meeting? Will there be a cake and punch with stripey straws??
I am so afraid of the DDD that I can’t even go shopping. I’m not letting myself shop until exactly 1 year out so that I don’t allow myself much time for DDD. And you can get one of those flat long plastic storage bins to put your dress in flat under the bed, covered of course! That might help with the Isabella situation.
You are hilarious. Stop looking at dress pictures! Just, don’t do it. Back away from the monitor. Duck & Cover. Look at pictures of puppies instead. There’s a reason you picked your dress. I say stop thinking about it & wait until the day of. But if you are truly miserable with the dress (without comparing it to other designs, just truly miserable with it all on its own) then try it on again. I think you’ll realize you love it & it’s “yours” though.
OMG cat pee. I almost peed myself reading this.
@Miss Pain au Chocolat, I want cake and punch too. But only if they come with stripey straws.
There is a light at the end of this dark tunnel!
I, too lusted after an all-lace dress, but I wanted floral appliques too…LOTS of them. The dress I bought only had minimal lace and lots of beading.
I thought it was awful because in every picture I took, I had horrible pony-tail hair and awkward arms and hands, because no could tell me what to do with them, (your normal poses just don’t look right in a wedding dress.)
BUT, when I finally put my whole look together and took my bridal photos, my dress looked freaking heavenly. All it takes is the right hair and makeup and a photographer who knows how to take a good picture. You will look at your dress in a totally different way. Don’t worry!
My advice would be to invite a friend (or 2 or 3…) over, do your hair and make-up, try on the dress again and take new pictures. The pictures from the sample probably have a few problems…the dress may not be in pristine condition, the neon lighting is not flattering on anyone, hair/makeup may not fit the formality - so the pictures might lie!
As far as hanging vs storing a dress flat - my bridal salon said that’s only really important on heavy dresses or ones that will be stored for a very long time. As long as you’re using the hanger straps, I’m sure you’re fine
I know exactly what you mean about DDD (I think I have an extreme case of it!) I bought 1 dress after trying on a size 20 sample and ordering a size 4 - needless to say, when it arrived it didnt fit or look like I expected it to. I took a chance and ordered a 2nd dress online for an amazing price….it fit perfect, it looked amazing, but it was made with low quality materials and really not properly constructed. So now, I am having dress #3 custom made - it will look like dress #2, but with a few minor changes and be much higher quality. It will be finished just 2 months before the wedding, so it better cure my DDD!
@Miss Pain au Chocolat: Haha - sign me up, if for nothing but the punch with stripey straws!
I totally LOL’d while reading this post because I’ve actually had that happen (cat peeing on something I stuffed underneath the bed). They were my favorite fuzzy slippers. They are no longer with me (RIP).
I have come to realize that EVERY bride has dress doubts and panics! I know for me it helped once the dress came in in my size and I could try it on. Sure there are other dresses that I still LOVE but I also love my dress and I can’t wear them all. Try on your dress and then hang it up or make sure it is protected in plastic. Cat pee is no good.
If you’re mostly worried about pictures, and you took pictures of you in the dress in the bridal shop, don’t worry. It’s probably not you. Pictures in bridal salons always look horrible. I swear to God they do something to the lighting to make it so. And teach sales people how to take bad pictures so that people won’t use them to have the dress made somewhere based on said pictures. I’m not kidding. Never trust pictures taken in a bridal shop.
If you’re this worried, I’d take the dress out of its bag and go for a spin in it. Hopefully, that’ll show you that you do love it or at least confirm your doubts. Either way, it’s probably best to know.
Though I must warn you in case you don’t love it as much as you thought: being a 2 dress bride is AWFUL. I’ve been trying to sell the spare since June without success. Thank God is was cheap.
Good luck! I hope it’s as wonderful as you remember!
Hi, my name is Lox and I have DDD. Now where are the doughnuts?
Seriously, leave it hanging so the pee monster doesn’t get it and stop thinking about it. Thinking about it only makes it worse.
PS - I’ve heard that about hanging the dress too. But the things is, mine is hanging in the dress shop and I figure they kind of know what they’re doing. So maybe it’s okay? Then again, mine is not terrifically heavy either…
Cat pee will make it harder to sell if you don’t like it! Anyway, go with your gut. I would go try it on again and maybe think about telling yourself to stop looking at other dresses… think how you’re making yours feel! 
i think the real disorder is just DD. the other D can ve a V(veil), R(ring), S(shoes), H(honeymoon)[insert letter here].
i have the same problem. i’ve been suffering from all kinds of DD variations throughout the planning period. doubting about whether or not i like my wedding ring woke me up this morning about 5am.
and i would encourage you to try it on. i spent about 3 hours trying to find a picture of someone with my wedding band and a similar ring and when i did, i felt much better.
As far as I know, the hanging thing depends on the fabric. If it’s a slinky fabric with lots of heavy beading, then hanging it up can cause it to stretch over time, and those should be laid flat. If it’s a solid fabric that isn’t going to stretch, or it’s a lighter fabric that’s light the whole way down, then hanging is fine.
Good luck Magic, I’m sure you’ll look beautiful! I had minor doubts about my dress every time I went months without seeing it, but then when I’d go to the store and try it on, all my fears went away.
See if the seamstress of dress shop will hold on to the dress for you.
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Mrs. Magic, Chapel Hill, NC Age and Occupation: 30, Licensed Clinical Social Worker Fiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Researcher Engagement Date: December 1, 2009 Wedding Date: October 2011 Venue: Barn at Valhalla About Me: I’m a tall drink of water (5’10”!) and a Southern bride with an enormous appetite for Mexican food, good deals, anything French, and all things wedding! By day I am lucky enough to work with individuals with autism and their families. By night, I’m even luckier to be able to spend time hanging out with awesome friends, crafting, shopping, thinking about exercising, and kicking it with Mr. Magic and our two cats. I tend to have sudden, intense cravings that will not be denied (seafood enchiladas! new jeans!) and I’m prone to being a disorganized mess of anxiety and stress. After waiting (and waiting!) to get engaged, I am finally planning the colorful, fun, fabulously awesome Fall wedding of our dreams. In an effort to share the fun and craziness that is wedding planning, I’m gonna blog about it for y’all---the good, the bad, and the pretty!
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