Weddingbee Blog

At some point in their engagement, brides will be questioned by well intentioned (or not, depending on their motives) friends and family regarding the importance and prudence behind having a large and or “expensive wedding.”  On the occasion that Mr CCandy and I cross paths with one of these well-intentioned people, we usually mumble something about our traditional families and quickly change the subject.

But, I want to tell them about all the hurdles we’ve overcome to be the couple we are now and why it’s important to celebrate our commitment with our nearest and dearest. I want to ask them about this so-called house they claim we can purchase in lieu of a wedding and where they think we can find a house in LA for the price of our wedding. I want to tell them about how much we value the institution of marriage and believe that it’s a precious right that unfortunately is not available to everyone and thus needs to be celebrated in the hopes that it one day will. And if all that still doesn’t satisfy their curiosity and if I’m feeling particularly emotional, I may even take it one step further and tell them about Mami CCandy—share with them her health struggles and her illness and let them know that even though her health may be stable now, I want to give her one day were we don’t have to worry about lung function or trial medication and where we can just bask in the glow of family love.

A wedding to us is not just about a fancy party with fancy dresses and pretty pictures, it’s about the moments and memories we’ll create.

Yes, it’s expensive…more expensive than any other party we’ll plan in our lives, but at the end of the day our wedding day will cost less than 1/5 of our combined annual salary and less than the cost of a used economy car. In the course of our lifetimes we will earn and spend that sum many times over. We’ll buy cars and homes, lots of lattes and fancy dinners, but no purchase and no experience will be as memorable as our wedding day.

To those people who like to tell brides that it’s just one day, I’d like to respectfully disagree. Our wedding is not just about the one day in June, but about the 10 years we’ve spent together as a couple. It’s about the year and a half we’ve spent planning and all the memories created in that time. Some of my favorite moments from our wedding have already come and gone. I will always remember our closest friends’ excitement over being asked to be in our wedding party, the time spent side by side with Mr. CCandy crafting details for our wedding, afternoons spent with our moms talking wedding, and weekends spent shopping for wedding supplies with friends.

I understand that in our economy it’s a privilege to have the expendable income that affords us the luxury to have a wedding celebration regardless of the size and budget. Mr CCandy and I have chosen to spend the expendable income that we do have on our wedding, and all we ask is that you respect our decision.

This is what I would tell those well intentioned questioners if I were bold enough to say it their faces, but since I’m not, I’ll continue to just mumble about tradition to those that ask. If really pressed, I may even tell them a little bit of the truth and share how excited I am to treat our guest to one hell of a party full of love, laughter, and free flowing cocktails and tacos!

Hive how do you handle the criticism surrounding weddings?