Name Change Revisited

Name Change Revisited

March 30th, 2011 @ 5:55 pm by Mrs. Eggs Benedict
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Well, it’s been over a month since our wedding. And while I talked about my name change decision earlier, I haven’t yet done anything to start the process. I haven’t ordered the certified copies of our marriage license, which means that I also haven’t been able to do anything else. I haven’t even changed my name on Facebook! (Though I did think that Gmail had changed my name…)

Image via Jump the Curve

Why haven’t I started this process yet?

Honestly, I have no idea. I’m still planning on changing my name. All of my reasons for doing it are still there. But I think the fact that we’re now after the wedding and it’s time to actually change my name means that it’s very real all of a sudden (is that weird? I feel like that sounds weird. But that’s how I’m feeling). I also know several friends who have started the process, but then lost steam. So some of their documents and records are in their new name and some are in their old name. And I could so easily see that happening to me. If I don’t get it done all at once, I know I’ll get annoyed with the process and just stop. But on the other hand, there are things that I want (and need) to do with my new name, like open a joint bank account already. It doesn’t make sense to open it with my old name when I know I’ll be changing it soon. So we’re waiting. And I know that it’s annoying to Mr. EB (though he’s very good about not putting any pressure on me about it). So yes, I know I just need to do it. But as with other wedding projects I took on, this one just seems particularly difficult for me to start.

Change is tough for me, especially when it’s an active choice that I have to make like this. Did anyone else struggle with the actual act of changing your name even though you already made the decision?

Tags: legal, seattle |

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19 Responses to “Name Change Revisited”

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

I’m totally in the “Half-Way” camp…I’ve done it for some things (license, Facebook, SS card) but not for others (email, passport, credit card). It’s just such a pain in the arse! And I get SO annoyed whenever I think about the fact that Mr TM doesn’t have to do a damn thing!

3/30/11 @ 6:14 pm (reply)

Member

hotchocolate (message) 257 posts, Helper bee

Do you know what happens if you only change some things and not others? I was wondering about that… I assumed there’d be issues if the names/identities on your important legal documents don’t match. But I really have no idea.

3/30/11 @ 6:23 pm (reply)

Member

mrs. peanut butter and jelly (message) 3 posts, Wannabee

I definitely can related to how you feel, Mrs. EB! I absolutely adore my maiden name, and well, my husband’s last name is a verb that does not paint a pretty picture when you first hear it! But there’s something very meaningful about taking your husband’s last name. So, I compromised and went with a hyphenated last name. He’s appreciative, and I still feel a sense of independence and that I’m not totally losing my identity!

I hear ya about the name changing process - it takes awhile (there are more accounts that you have to change than you may realize!), and I would suggest taking a day off work to go to your bank, DMV, and Social Security office. Get about 5 copies of your marriage license and make sure you contact any organizations you have investments through. And don’t forget about changing your passport! Airports and customs are very strict about this kind of stuff nowadays!

The biggest battle I fought was with changing my email address. I created a new Gmail account using my new last name, but then I didn’t want to lose any of the messages, folders, contacts, etc. in my old account! I starting Googling around for tools that might take care of this transfer for me, and I found a tool called MigrationBox. Check it out, it totally saved me tons of time and now I have everything in one place: http://www.migrationbox.com/

3/30/11 @ 6:23 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Earrings (message) 2,477 posts, Buzzing bee

Ah yes…I have very much struggled with this. Our name changing process in NZ isnt as involved as it is in the States…but I still have no piece of identification with my new name on it…

3/30/11 @ 6:25 pm (reply)

Guest

sambycat

i would pipe in DO NOT take a day and try to run about and do it all. because i had to GO to the social security office, then WAIT for the card. then GO to the DMV and, sadly for texas, they do not immediately issue the DL right there. it took the whole 6 weeks - just got it two days ago. now i have to mail the passport in with one-hundred-ten-freaking dollars when i just renewed my passport like 3 years ago. super annoying.

3/30/11 @ 7:00 pm (reply)

Member

katherine26 (message) 98 posts, Worker bee

I have been debating hard about changing my last name. I am graduating this year and will be going into business, and FI’s last name is Polish, long, hard to pronounce and spell. While, my last name is long but easy to spell. As it is right now, my full legal name doesn’t even fit on most applications (his is longer). I am just not sure what to do, I love my last name though….and would miss it.

I have just been so on the fence about it.

3/30/11 @ 7:09 pm (reply)

Member

xtatic1 (message) 778 posts, Busy bee

Although changing the name sounds like such a pain to do, I have been waiting nearly 34 long years to change mine. Too many jokes, too hard to spell. Ugh, 5 more months to go!

3/30/11 @ 7:14 pm (reply)

Guest

shannag

@ xtatic1, I was in the same camp as you. I couldn’t wait to get rid of my last name. Now that I’ve been married for 9 months I still haven’t changed mine and I’m seriously considering not changing it. I’ve been saying that I’ll change it when my passport expires but I think I’m too attached somehow. I never thought it would be such a big part of my identity but it is somehow!

3/30/11 @ 7:56 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

I know quite a few people in the same boat. I’ll probably drag my feet quite a bit on this road.

3/30/11 @ 8:13 pm (reply)

10.

Member

Crown (message) 534 posts, Busy bee

Changing one’s name is a major undertaking. It symbolizes transitioning from one phase of adult life to another…with the operative word being ADULT. Your hesitancy/animosity/fear about this is absolutely appropriate. You will complete the process when you’re ready. It just takes time, sometimes.

3/30/11 @ 8:30 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Mrs. Knitting (message) 1,072 posts, Bumble bee

Good luck with getting all that done!

3/30/11 @ 10:15 pm (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Pain au Chocolat (message) 1,698 posts, Bumble bee

It probably doesn’t help that the process takes awhile… or does it? I’ll probably get around to the name-change a few months after the wedding our of sheer laziness.

3/30/11 @ 11:32 pm (reply)

13.

Bee

Mrs. Taco (message) 950 posts, Busy bee

It is just a pain in the ass with miles of red tape we don’t want to deal with

I’m doing mine finally at the end of April; after I take a trip (with plane tix in my maiden name) and before I buy another set of tickets for the fall!

3/31/11 @ 1:18 am (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Candy Apple (message) 1,465 posts, Bumble bee

Ugh, I’m already dreading all of the paperwork… Good luck with the process, EB! You can deal with it when you’re good and ready

3/31/11 @ 6:57 am (reply)

15.

Member

AMFELTS (message) 60 posts, Worker bee

I’ve got the biggies done, ss, lic, local bank, now its on to the harder stuff, utilities, cc’s and such. Its also changed at work on paper. Most of my clients know me by mostly my first name, so this should be interesting getting it introduced. But, now that I’ve done it, I feel like I’ve lost something, nothing tangeble but still, something is missing…. It will take time to get past this part, but when I wake up in the am with him by my side, I wouldnt have it any other way.

3/31/11 @ 7:13 am (reply)

16.

Member

Gerbera (message) 4,481 posts, Honey bee

I went through a legal name change and let me tell you I def dragged a$$ on that. I’m 6 months after my wedding and just mailed my passport in. After that I have my naturalization certificate left then I will be 100% my new married name! Woot! Woot!

3/31/11 @ 8:07 am (reply)

17.

Bee

Mrs. Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

I am hearing you on that. 3.5 months later and I still need to go do that. *sigh*

3/31/11 @ 10:49 am (reply)

18.

Member

Miss Canaras (message) 62 posts, Worker bee

I just read your original post about changing your name and it entertained me, because one of my favorite things about my mister is that when we get married, my initials will stay the same! My sister lost her initials, and sometimes i think she misses them. So I totally get the hesitancy.

Also, I would absolutely be the person who got halfway through the name change and just stopped!

3/31/11 @ 12:14 pm (reply)

19.

Member

Miss OBG (message) 1,272 posts, Bumble bee

I’m in the opposite situation - I’m still 7 weeks away from getting married, and things have already started changing. I’m starting a new job a month after the wedding, and I told them so everything would be prepared. Now I’m filling out all this paperwork with my married name, getting a new email address, etc. and I’m like “who is this person??”

At least I’m getting stuff out of the way though! Btw, my passport is up for renewal in 3 years, and I will change it then.

4/4/11 @ 12:58 pm (reply)