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I have no real attachment to the unity-candle tradition. I think my main problem with it is that I don’t want to use something once at the wedding and then have store it, having never used it again and feeling guilty every time I want to toss it.
So I went searching for alternatives to the unity candle.
Image via Maui Weddings
On top of these, I’ve seen a lot of couples taking communion at their weddings, and I really like that idea. I’m not sure if that’s a tradition in Protestant weddings, as I’ve only been to one where they did that (and then only the couple took it, not the guests). But all the Catholic weddings I’ve been to involved the Eucharist (another name for communion).
Are there any that I’m missing? What unity traditions are you using for your ceremony?
I love the winebox ceremony idea - always have always will!
We are doing the unity candle, but ours is designed so as to allow a votive candle and holder to fit into the top of the candle. the unity candle will never be burned, and then we can burn it yearly and keep it the rest of the year in our curio as a reminder of our union.
I’ve seen couples do a wine ceremony instead of a unity candy or sand ceremony. Both partners have a glass of wine, then they pour it into a single glass. It’s similar to the sand ceremony because it symbolizes the fact that the two wines can never be separated again. And as far as storing it afterwards…you can always drink it!
I’ve never heard of the winebox ceremony. That’s super cool, even though it kind of sounds like it should be in a family movie. I wonder if I can convince Mr. A to do that.
We are planning an outdoor (lakeside) ceremony, so we can’t do the unity candle ceremony. We’re thinking about doing a Salt Ceremony, which is like the sand ceremony but has more historical significance. As far as storing it, since we cook a ton, I’m considering actually using the salt, maybe just for special occasions, because I also hate randomly having to store stuff forever.
I have heard about the Cord of Three Strands tradition, but that is used primarily in Christian ceremonies. I’d considered it, but we decided to go with the unity candle instead. It’s smaller and looks nice in a curio.
Great ideas! 
We are doing the bottle of wine and love letters idea at ours.
Have you heard of the Covenant of Salt? It is one we are doing at our wedding. Here is the history on it.
“The Covenant of Salt ceremony is used in many Biblical traditions. Salt is referred to in the Bible many times, since it was a very important and valued commodity (especially before refrigeration). There are many Biblical references to “the salt of the earth”. The Covenant of Salt indicates a binding contract. In the Bible, when a contract was made, each party put a pinch of salt into the pocket of the other person. It was said that when each grain of salt could be sorted, identified, and returned to the rightful owner, the contract could be broken. Today, partners each take a vial of salt, and pour their salt into a container, joining the grains together for eternity. This tradition is popular with many religiously observant couples in place of the sand ceremony.”
http://www.interfaithofficiants.com/DesignYourOwnCeremonyPages/DesignYourOwnCeremonyRituals.html
I love following your posts, by the way. You have so many great ideas!
I saw one where the couple released balloons as a symbol of releasing control of their lives to God. It made for beautiful pictures!
We handfasted. Actually, only recently did it become part of a pagen ceremony. Before, it was used in Scotland when there were some legal problems with marriage by mutal consent, so they handfasted in front of people to have recognition of the marriage.
We’re Protestant (Presbyterian), and we might be doing communion with everyone participating.
We may also be doing the unity candles.
We just had our meeting with the minister, so these are issues we discussed.
We did a wine and chocolate ceremony..We took a sip of red wine to symbolize the “bitter” times ( such as loss of a job, deaths etc) we may have in our marriage and then had a piece of chocolate to sympolize the “sweet” times ( such as children, buying a home etc)
We got married outside so the candle wasn’t an option. All our guests loved it and our pastor loved the idea. I googled it to help with the wording.
oh oh oh! My husband and I thought of using a unity cross before we eloped!
I used the Unity Cross Ceremony. I didn’t like the gothic iron-looking version, so we had one made. Photos, ceremony text here: http://www.dakotatransplant.com/2011/03/wedding-wednesdaythe-un-unity-candle.html
We did a “hands ceremony” where we held hands and our pastor read a little blurb about the gift they were to each other. Similar to the one listed here http://www.cherations.com/Unique_Ceremony.html
I really liked the symbolism involved when it talked about all the stages of our lives - being young, building a future, children, and growing old together. I also liked that we could tweak it to suit us, and then we added a second part where we also had to look into each others’ eyes.
Funny how you bring up the handfasting ceremony and how it might cause an issue because of its origins, because we really wanted to have this as part of our ceremony, but our pastor refused to do so because of the origins of the ritual. I was majorly bummed, but I guess it’s understandable.
@TheFutureMcBride: Actually, the original origins of the ritual are very much pagan. I did a paper on Scottish marriage rights and rituals in college. Before Christianity arrived in Scotland, handfasting was used as a public symbol of commitment (often marriages were not consentual)Even after Lord Harwicke’s Act of 1753 declaring that marriages in England were legal only if performed by a clergyman, the people of scotland continued to use the ritual. It has had a recent resurgence in popularity among the wiccan and pagan beliefs, but is also increasingly popular in the christian faith as well, if you have a pastor/priest comfortable with performing it.I
(Sorry for the essay, can you tell i loved writing the paper?)
My FI liked the idea of the sand ceremony as it seemed unique. We don’t mind collecting things, especially if they are sentimental. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve EVER been to a ceremony where they didn’t do the unity candle. We’re all traditional in my family.
Please don’t release balloons! They eventually pop and create litter and choking hazards to wildlife.
Qe are doing the winebox/love letters. Our box will actually have two bottles of wine that our Moms are picking out as a way to symbolize the joining of the two families. We are nailing the box shut (hopefully!) instead of the MOH/best man. I’ve also read where the parents take turns nailing the box shut
@ktisthatbees: lol, I think it’s interesting. Love it when you actually care about the topics for papers.
My fiance came up with a unique take on the unity ceremony. We are both runners, so we are going to tie our running shoes together (1 from each of us) to symbolize two separate paths taken that will now become one. Then we will hand the shoes on a wreath hanger to be displayed.
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Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TX Age and Occupation: 23, Marketing Specialist Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad Student Engagement Date: January 8, 2010 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Downtown 202 About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
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