Weddingbee Blog

At first we thought of doing donations instead of favors but we actually had a lot of family up in arms about it. So instead we are doing regular favors for the guests, then we are doing a grandparent memorial (3 of my grandparents died from cancer: my dad’s father-prostate, my mom’s father-skin cancer, my mom’s mother-breast cancer). The grandparent memorial will have candles burning along with signs explaining how we have donated to different charities in honor of our grandparents. We haven’t figured out what charities we are donating to yet for my FI’s grandparents but we’ll do one charity for each grandparent that has passed. Of course we won’t be able to give each one a lot of money but we figure something is better than nothing.

Im rooting for Nanna Jaguar as my grandma died after getting breast cancer for the third or fourth time. I asked her to be a bridesmaid at my first wedding and unfortunately she did not make it til my wedding.

I like the idea but saying that I really wish people would research the charities they are donating to and the causes they are connected with. Of the different cancers breast cancer has by far the most funding per death while lung cancer kills more people than the next 7 cancers COMBINED and has the least funding of them all. I miss my Gramma every day but I know what cause needs my help the most.

(I really really am not trying to troll, but I wish people knew more.)

This may not be a popular opinion…but I don’t like the idea of charity favors.

Months ago, I was convinced that my favors would be charity. Escort cards would serve as ‘votes’ for money toward one of three jars, so that the charity organizations were more reflective of the guests’ actual wishes.

But then I thought it was tacky. Voting for a charity? When did my wedding become a fundraiser? Perhaps it was time to scratch the options and just include a notecard…. but that meant guests didn’t have voice in the charity…which I do think is important.

And yes, I recognize that nobody gets a vote on gift favors. I mean, I personally am turned off by wasting materials on mass manufactured (overseas, too) novelty items…but I appreciate that the hosts are trying to be nice, and I smile, and I enjoy it. But my aversion to that sort of thing is so uncommon and marginal to society that I don’t expect to be accommodated in any way. But if somebody made a donation to an organization that was just as or more controversial than sweatshops or offshoring or environmental degradation…I would not appreciate it.

There is no need for favors. Miss Manners says so. The reception is a thank you for attendance at the ceremony (and thus, should be geared toward guest enjoyment). You can always do the donations in private. That way, no guests have to know!*

*Some people may WANT their guests to know about a certain organization. There are so many other ways to pass the word along that are not related to your wedding.