The Marriage Commissioner

The Marriage Commissioner

April 15th, 2011 @ 3:45 pm by Ms. Gazelle
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It is so easy to get wrapped up in the little details surrounding a wedding—things like centerpieces, what to use for a card box, what the invitations are going to look like, what our flower is girl going to carry, and whether I can make it.

And, if you are like me, you probably spent countless hours poring over pictures of venues, reading catering menus, and looking at the portfolios of different photographers and florists. How much do they charge, and is it above or below the average? How does it rank on a scale of importance for us?

In all of the searching for the details and the right vendor, it may be easy to overlook quite possibly the most important vendor of the day that you will hire—the person who will perform your marriage ceremony. After all, the main purpose for the day is to marry the person you love, and the rest is just the party to celebrate that marriage. If you are getting married in your church then this decision is probably pretty easy. If you are looking for a marriage commissioner, then, not so much.

To find that right person for the ceremony, I started the search off with Google. Luckily everyone in British Columbia (the province we are getting married in) who is legally allowed to perform a civil marriage ceremony can be found through a search on the BC Vital Statistics Agency page. I perused forums online, looking for recommendations, and searched to see if our venue recommended anyone. A few names kept popping up. I picked one that our photographer liked, and we started emailing back and forth.

Mr. Gazelle and I met her at her home on our trip to Vancouver in October. It was raining outside, and we sat down on comfy couches in her living room. Right away we felt at ease with her. She was like the long-lost aunt we didn’t know we had! We talked about the rehearsal, then about how the ceremony would go. She asked us about how we met, where we grew up, and about our families. It is important to her that our marriage ceremony reflect us as a couple and that it be a memorable part of the day even though it will take less than 30 minutes. Mr. Gazelle is very keen to craft the ceremony, and we will be writing our own vows. Just as long as we say the phrases that legally need to be said, we can personalize our ceremony as we wish. It was obvious from talking to her that she really enjoys what she does.

As we stepped back out into the rain, Mr. Gazelle and I looked at each other with big smiles on our faces. We both loved her—she was exactly the person we had in mind to perform our marriage ceremony.

Image via Sakura Photography

How did you decide who was going to perform your marriage ceremony?

Tags: officiant, vancouver |

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18 Responses to “The Marriage Commissioner”

Bee

Mrs. Meerkat (message) 3,216 posts, Sugar bee

LOVE! While we didn’t hand pick the person officiating, our ceremony was either written by us or someone we love so it felt very special.

4/15/11 @ 3:53 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Hyena (message) 1,882 posts, Buzzing bee

That’s wonderful that y’all clicked so well!

4/15/11 @ 3:53 pm (reply)

Member

haelmai (message) 234 posts, Helper bee

We’re going with the younger (my age) of the two pastors from my church. Both pastors are wonderful and so full of love, but the younger is amazingly down to earth, and so easy to talk with. I’m so excited he agreed to marry us!

4/15/11 @ 4:02 pm (reply)

Member

kate169 (message) 2,247 posts, Buzzing bee

I had a hard time finding someone good! It seems like there are only a few in my area and they book pretty fast. One particular officiant I called sounded so sweet over the phone so we set up a meeting.

Come the day of the meeting, we get there a few minutes early and wait. And wait. And wait some more. She NEVER showed up, and to make matters worse, she didn’t call until a week or so later. Her name is Susan Turner and if you’re a Yorktown or Hampton Roads bride, I would steer clear. Can you imagine if she did that on your wedding day? Just didn’t show up?? I mean…I understand things come up…BUT that’s what phones were invented for.

I’m glad you didn’t have such a hard time!!

4/15/11 @ 4:04 pm (reply)

Member

Future Mrs. Huban (message) 155 posts, Blushing bee

My FI’s best friend from college is ordained and previously officiated another friend’s wedding, so he will be performing our marriage ceremony. We feel it’s a special and intimate touch to our ceremony knowing our good friend will be marrying us.

4/15/11 @ 4:05 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Seal (message) 1,179 posts, Bumble bee

Awwe, that’s so sweet that you guys were able to find someone that you really connected with. She seems like a sweetheart. We were kind of assigned a priest to marry us by our church—thankfully we completely connect with him and feel at total ease around him. At our first meeting, it honestly felt like we’d known him for years!

4/15/11 @ 4:08 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

I’m glad you found someone you love! We also hand-picked our officiant for his calming, warm personality.

4/15/11 @ 4:11 pm (reply)

Member

stephbonthego (message) 687 posts, Busy bee

x-posted from: Before the Mane Event: Mikvah, but I’m elaborating a bit here.

I am a non-practicing Jew; raised Christian; nearly agnostic now with deep-rooted Christian values. Mr. D (raised Baptist) just last summer found his best friend from 5th grade! whom he had lost touch with over the years. He is now a Rabbi in training- just submitted his master’s thesis!

Rabbi R was coincidentally (I don’t believe in coincidence, btw) attending a conference up here in Seattle, which is an hours drive for us, so he and Mr. D were able to reconnect in person and we all spent a fun day showing him around the city.

By day’s end, after Mr. D had dismissed himself from our table, Rabbi R leaned over to me and said, please pray about this and discuss too with Mr. D but I would be honored to marry the two of you! (How could we refuse!!)

Long & the short of it, he offered to officiate for us so Rabbi R, a Messianic Jew could not be a more perfect fit for us.

4/15/11 @ 4:12 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Candy Apple (message) 1,465 posts, Bumble bee

Aww, I’m glad you found someone with whom you and Mr. G connect so well

4/15/11 @ 4:26 pm (reply)

10.

Member

linguo42 (message) 3,563 posts, Sugar bee

Your choice sounds a lot like ours, did you go with Ann?

4/15/11 @ 4:29 pm (reply)

11.

Member

pookiepie (message) 317 posts, Helper bee

this is so sweet! glad that you find the wedding commissioner that perfectly fits your need, we are getting married in a Catholic Church and I told my FI that I want to have a traditional Filipino wedding ceremony, I prayed that hopefully I can find someone who lives close to my area, luckily, while attending a mass, there he is, we approached him and he agreed to be our officiant.

4/15/11 @ 4:30 pm (reply)

12.

Member

Knubbsy-Wubbsy (message) 2,395 posts, Buzzing bee

Our’s in a good friend of FH’s (even has FH as one of his GMs next month). They met while Rev. J was in seminary while FH was finishing up his BA on the same campus. It seemed like a natural fit as he is now a pastor in Ft Worth, and we aren’t really close to the pastors at our church in Waco.

4/15/11 @ 5:00 pm (reply)

13.