Weddingbee Blog

Okay, as you probably know (because you are a wise hive), I am not actually Mr. Diesel. I do, however, happen feel a kinship with him.

Mostly because we are both SUPER BUFF.

Image via Vin Diesel’s Official Site

All right, maybe I’m not so buff.

The truth is, I feel connected to Vin because we’re both sort of…racially ambiguous?

Many speculate about his ethnicity but he never confirms any of it, simply maintaining that he is “multi-cultural.” His reason? He told Times magazine, “I support the idea of being multicultural primarily for all the invisible kids, the ones who don’t fit into one ethnic category and then find themselves lost in some limbo.”

There you have it, guys. I am one of those kids—the ones who stare at those stupid little boxes on official forms for minutes on end while contemplating which confusing square to check. And while I think that ethnicity doesn’t completely define a person, it definitely plays a role in who we are and the customs we partake in at our weddings. Our cultural backgrounds help make us beautiful and unique snowflakes!

I’ve grown up in primarily Caucasian neighborhoods and was first confronted with my dissimilarity when I was six. My “best friend” at the time told me I had to get off “her” play structure because I didn’t have blonde hair and light eyes. In all honesty, I don’t think the little skinhead-in-training knew how hurtful she was being, but it definitely made me look at myself differently.

After that moment I set off on a 20 year quest to “belong.”  So when people asked me, “What ARE you?” I was actually more interested in what they thought I was—as if I would feel more justified in being a particular race if people thought I looked the part.

Go ahead, you know you want to play too, so guess. I’ll even show you my two brothers to help (or confuse) you:

So what am I? Did you guess? If you’ve been following along with my previous posts, you’d have a general idea—I’ve dropped a few hints!

Over the years, I’ve collected enough data to form the following bar graph of guesses I’ve received from people:

Anyway, as you can see, most people think I am either Hispanic or Asian. The fact of the matter is, like a vast number of Americans, I am multi-racial-I am a melting pot. So if you guessed Hispanic, you’re right. I am nearly half Spanish from my mom’s side. Asian/Pacific Islander? Also correct. My paternal grandpa was born in the Philippines and lived there until he was about 10—he, however, was only half Filipino and half German/Polish. Which leads into the next guess: white. I am German and Polish. I am also Irish and Scottish (from my paternal grandma’s side).

Here’s a pie-chart of my confirmed ethnic make-up to make it easier to follow:

I’ve always felt most closely related to my Spanish roots—perhaps because I am half, or perhaps it is simply because I am closer to my mom’s side of the family. Anyway, despite my family’s Spanish heritage, I still sometimes don’t feel “Spanish enough.” Mama Seal and her siblings were not taught the language therefore neither were we. To confuse matters even more, instead of being handed down Spanish recipes (Spanish tortilla, paella, etc), my family makes Mexican delights (tortillas, refried beans, enchiladas, tamales, you name it). In an effort to draw some sort of connection to the motherland, I lived in Spain for a few months in college while studying the language abroad. And though I passed as a local to some, most referred to me as the “chinita” (little Chinese girl).

Over the years, I’ve come to accept that I don’t need to “belong” to one particular culture; that it’s okay if some people laugh in disbelief when I tell them I am Filipino and others when I tell them I am Irish. I am what I am and am proud to be a living, walking example of diversity. It’s nice to look back on my lineage and see that my family was open-minded enough to love outside of their races-especially when this was so gravely looked down upon.

In planning our wedding, however, there IS a tiny part of me that wishes I had a cultural custom to incorporate. Maybe something like Miss Magic’s Moravian pastor, Miss Bacon’s Tea Ceremony, Miss Lioness’s Mikvah, or Mrs. Glasses’ Tanabata tree. Mr. Seal is 100% Puerto Rican and the pride pumps through his veins, but there isn’t a particular custom that his family partakes in. So perhaps instead of trying to force something we will try to find a small and understated way to simply pay homage to  diversity—I think our future Puerto Rican, Spanish, Filipino, German, Polish, Irish, Scottish kids would appreciate that.

Any suggestions? Are you a fellow mutt? Are you incorporating cultural customs into your wedding?