Catch up on the entire After “I Do” series here! And if you have a burning question you’d like to see discussed, submit it here!
**we’re still experiencing residual missing images, so I’ve posted the author’s name in front of their comment, just in case their icons aren’t appearing!
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If only one of you works (SAHM/SAHD, unemployment, school—any reason) how does it affect your relationship’s dynamic? How do you think it affect outsider’s views of your relationship’s dynamic? What are the benefits/disadvantages to having one breadwinner in your household?
Mrs. Hermit Crab - For the duration of our relationship, only one of us has ever been working full time. While Mr. HC was in medical school, I was working, and now that he is a resident, I am in a graduate program. Initially, I was very concerned about this role reversal, since I had been the one bringing money in, and I am generally the one who manages finances. Would I be able to get a manicure guilt-free? Questions like this had me very nervous about the switcheroo. As it happens, Mr. HC and I are very open when it comes to conversations about money, and we are understanding of the other’s situation. Aside from that it would be nice to have two incomes to offset the cost of living in NYC, it has worked out fine for us so far. It is practice for a potential situation if I decide to be a stay at home mom one day when that is relevant for us. Read more…
Mrs. Seal, San FranciscoAge and Occupation: 25, Personal AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Sales and Support SpecialistEngagement Date: December 12, 2009Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Sts Peter and Paul Church/The Bently ReserveAbout Me: I am a goofy, wannabe crafty, well-intentioned Renaissance Woman (OK, perhaps "aimless wanderer" is a more aptly suited term for me, but hopefully you get the point)—basically I dabble in just about everything and pride myself in such. Without warning, I occasionally breakout into soulful improvised songs and interpretive dances and there's just no stopping me! As so many others before me, planning our wedding has unearthed a deep, intense passion for all things bridal and I secretly fear the day it will come to an end. Mr. Seal and I are quite the pair and life with him by my side is extremely rewarding—I am so thankful to have found him. Together we are planning a black-tie San Francisco affair for 250—light on the stuffiness and with lots of extra Seal-y flair.
Remember the dream reception site that became our actual reception venue? Well, in my excited haze, I forgot to mention one tiny detail—it’s a completely blank canvas. By blank canvas I mean that it comes with nothing, and by nothing I mean…absolutely nothing. There will be no chairs, no tables, no stock linens, and no glassware included with the rental. The Seals get the main hall, two side lobbies, a mezzanine, and two bathrooms. Oh, and a light switch that will turn on the ginormous chandeliers.
Mrs. Jaguar, SydneyAge and Occupation: 27, Primary School TeacherFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, IT ConsultantEngagement Date: August 8, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Curzon HallAbout Me: I'm an Australian girl who is a self-proclaimed nerd, loves all things stationery and would be lost without books, music and the internet. Mr. Jaguar and I have been together for the past eight years and he finally popped the question last August. Hurrah! We currently live in Sydney, Australia with our adorable cat who thinks he's a person. We're a couple who likes to multi-task: we've been planning a wedding abroad, a permanent move from London to Sydney, and preparing to build our own home all at the same time. Travelling makes me giddy...as does Mr. Jaguar, of course!
I think I’m one of the oldest (current) blogging bees who is still yet to share their engagement photo session—which seems funny, considering our wedding is less than 50 days away now. You see, we’ve had our fabulous photographers booked for almost as long as we’ve been engaged, and we were waiting for the right time to book in our e-shoot with them. We scheduled it for March, to give ourselves some time to settle down, get jobs, and have the time spare to actually enjoy the experience in front of a camera!
Thinking that it might be our last chance for some good ‘couple’ photos before the wedding, I even splurged and had my hair and makeup done for the day: a VERY good decision. Seriously, if you are thinking of having a trial, do it before the pictures. It really made me feel 100% positive about our stylist, because she did an awesome job.
We’re still waiting for our pictures to be blogged so that I can share some of them with you, and I have to say, I am ITCHING to see the finished products! I’ve seen a sneak peek of them so far, but I promise as soon as they’re shared, I’ll get them up on the blog to show you all. Think happy, speedy, pretty bloggy thoughts for me, okay?
Mrs. Elephant, Dallas, TXAge and Occupation: 27, Financial Operations AnalystFiance's Age and Occupation: 27, IT Student/Store ManagerEngagement Date: March 29, 2009Wedding Date: April 2011Venue: The Tribute Golf ClubAbout Me: I'm a Philly native creating roots deep in the heart of Texas. I might be a little obsessed capturing those Kodak moments of anything and everything (mainly on vacations). I've become more of a gamer thanks to Mr. Elephant, who I met online and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. We are planning a wedding based on our favorite colors, blue and green, with a travel theme for 150 of our closest friends and family. Hopefully our long (2-year) engagement won't kill me!
I cannot believe that I am actually sitting here, bright and early the morning of the day before our wedding. OK, I take that back. I’ve always been an early riser, and I couldn’t really sleep with the excitement of the bridal breakfast in a couple of hours. Actually I haven’t been able to really sleep through the night all week, waking up at 3 AM. I’m not sure if it’s the excitement, or worrying about the weather, or my brain thinking non stop of the little things here and there that needed to be done.
I never thought this day would get here when Mr. E proposed 755 days ago. These past 2 years have been filled with ups and downs, but I am so thankful that our relationship has only gotten stronger. I love that man more than words can express and I cannot wait to call him my husband!
To the Hive - I can honestly say that our wedding would not be what it is without you! I have been so inspired by my fellow blogging bees and their amazing DIY projects, and have cherished each and every encouraging comment that you bees have left on my posts. I started the DIY projects to kill time in our long engagement, but have really come to love the personal touches that will help to make tomorrow something all of our guests are sure to remember! Read more…
Mrs. Pony, Bloomington, ILAge and Occupation: 25, AttorneyFiance's Age and Occupation: 34, AttorneyEngagement Date: March 22, 2010Wedding Date: September 2011Venue: Mackinaw Valley Vineyard; Bloomington Center for the Performing ArtsAbout Me: I found my Southern counterpart in law school and since he popped the question last March, we have been busy graduating, job searching, bar taking, and wedding planning. My loves include must see TV, magnets, quotes, anything green, my car, fun socks, the Cubs, and my Mr. Together we love wine, playing outside, and exploring the world together. Stay tuned to see our Midwest wedding full of Southern charm, vintage flair, lots of DIY details, and a whole lot o’ wine.
After looking at a number of reception venues, Mr. Pony and I decided that the Bloomington Center for the Performing Arts fit our wedding dreams perfectly. But, perhaps you would like to get to know it a little better with some pictures and history?
This place has everything we want in a reception venue—character, beauty, and a great location.
Mrs. Bacon, ChicagoAge and Occupation: 26, Digital Advertising ManagerFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, IT Client ServicesEngagement Date: June 17, 2010Wedding Date: September 2011Venue: Ravenswood Billboard FactoryAbout Me: I'm a Midwestern girl that can't seem to commit to staying in one place for too long and is constantly daydreaming about my next adventure. I am an aspiring foodie with a weak spot for the unusual and I love semi-reality food television. My other loves easily include laughing as a form of exercise, a book that I can't put down, summer baseball games, espresso with whipped cream, couch potato days and nights with the ridiculous Mr. Bacon, and our two kitties, Lincoln and Sawyer. We're planning a faux-destination wedding for 150 of our closest friends and family in the city we've both adopted as home that has a modern, yet whimsical twist and as many personal touches as we can manage.
There was no contest on who would be making our wedding cake. I’ve known Nadia from Sweet Tooth since I first started working at my company three years ago and when she left the agency to pursue her passion full time, I knew that she would be our baker. It was an extra surprise when she worked with the Baconator to make our engagement cake.
Back when we were going on our dresscapades in October, she set up a fantastic tasting for us complete with little red balloons that tied into our theme. She made us a two little two tier cakes, each with a different flavor combination.
Please don’t mind the dings on the square cake, that’s all my fault since I am too clumsy for my own good.Personal Photo
The first one we dove into was a personal fave for both of us: Red velvet with cream cheese frosting. Can you say YUM?
Ms. Gazelle, Calgary/VancouverAge and Occupation: 32, EngineerFiance's Age and Occupation: 32, Technology AnalystEngagement Date: September 3, 2010Wedding Date: July 2011Venue: Brock House Restaurant, VancouverAbout Me: I am a marathon runner, cyclist, Ironman triathlete and beautiful shoe fiend who also loves kicking back and watching Glee. I grew up a bit of a nomad as I traveled around the world with my family, living everywhere from Australia to England to South America and Indonesia. I finally settled in Calgary a few years ago and met Mr. Gazelle who loves me even though we cheer for different hockey teams. We are planning a bit of a destination wedding in beautiful Vancouver, British Columbia and we can’t wait to share the day with our close family and friends.
It is a pretty exciting time here, hive—it is time to talk about our STDs!
Of course you know I mean save the dates, right?
Once Mr. Gazelle and I got engaged, I immediately started thinking about the save the dates. I wanted something simple but something that was going to give our guests their first glimpse of our wedding. Our wedding will be a destination wedding for 81.667% of our guests, so I wanted to play off of that theme.
How about postcards?
First I thought about purchasing a bunch of postcards in Vancouver, getting a custom stamp made with our save-the-date info, and sending them out.
Mrs. Snow Cone, Pittsburgh/Johnstown, PAAge and Occupation: 23, Public Health Graduate StudentFiance's Age and Occupation: 23, EngineerEngagement Date: April 9, 2010Wedding Date: August 2011Venue: OMOS Church ceremony/Sunnehanna Country Club receptionAbout Me: I’m one of the lucky ones---I met my future husband at the ripe old age of 13, started dating him as a mature woman of 15, and have been enjoying the ride ever since. Here we are, 8 years later, living in Pittsburgh, planning a "homestination" wedding in the place our school romance began---Johnstown, PA. I thrive on talking a mile a minute, eating my weight in chocolate, and internet shopping. I love a lengthy to-do list almost as much as I love a healthy amount of chaos in my life. Mr. Snow Cone and I watch countless episodes of Friends and The West Wing on repeat, root for rival college sports teams, and make each other laugh each and every day. We’re putting together a small-town wedding with a big personality and a classically modern (or modernly classic?) look for 250 of our closest family and friends. It’s been 8+ years in the making, and sometimes I still can’t believe I’m finally getting to marry my high school sweetheart!
So far in wedding planning, I have been very pleased with how the wedding’s been taking shape. I am excited to get married in my hometown church, I love the look of our reception venue, I couldn’t be happier with our photographer decision, and after buying my dress, I haven’t looked back. Oh, and, you know, the minor detail of I’m super excited to marry Mr. Snow Cone. Everything is kittens and roses and butterflies and happiness!
Mrs. Pain au Chocolat, Wilmington, DEAge and Occupation: 29, RealtorFiance's Age and Occupation: 34, RealtorEngagement Date: November 21, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Greenville Country ClubAbout Me: An ENFJ with an artistic streak who loves backgammon, sailing, graphic design, and sleeping in. Travel (near or far), good wine, and tasty food makes my heart sing. I'm a compulsive list-maker who lives to plan and organize. Mr. P and I have lived together for 4 years, all the while renovating our city townhome bit by bit. We're planning a whimsical, Anthropologie-inspired garden wedding in June 2011.
Do you remember the great bustle debate? On our last visit to the bridal salon, the consultant demonstrated two bustle options: American and French. Bridesmaid R and I were pretty much sold on the French style. When I asked the hive, you guys responded with an emphatic “American!” Even your words of wisdom and combined years of experience weren’t enough to move me from my stubborn French position.
American! No, French! The Great Bustle Battle waged war in my brain for weeks. (Images via the CIA World Factbook: USA & France)
Mrs. Hyena, College Station, TXAge and Occupation: 23, Marketing SpecialistFiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Aerospace Engineering Grad StudentEngagement Date: January 8, 2010Wedding Date: May 2011Venue: Downtown 202About Me: I'm a Texas girl who met my future hubby in high school, then headed up to Oklahoma for a college education (BOOMER SOONER!) before moving back to the Lone Star State to be with him. I love reading and recycling, Photoshop and reality TV, making lame jokes and then laughing at them, quoting movies, and Mr. Hyena most of all. I'm perpetually early and I like to get things accomplished. When my cat meows at me, I meow back. We're planning a laid-back, unintentionally DIY wedding with a cocktail-party vibe, and can't wait to celebrate our nuptials with our nearest and dearest!
It had been quite a while since I’d gone to visit our venue, Downtown 202, and Mom Hyena recently freaked me out by saying she didn’t think all the tables were going to fit in there. We’re only having eight tables (since Downtown 202 only provides that many) with no assigned or reserved seating so as to make it feel like a mix-n-mingle cocktail-type party. Mom Hyena was remembering it much smaller than it actually is and, in doing so, she had me thinking it was super small, too. Where will the people dance?!
I took the afternoon off to go see it again and play with the layout a bit, and I am SO glad I did! To my relief, everything fits exactly as I had imagined it! Since I didn’t have good pictures to show off the first time we talked about the venue, I took some this time so you can get a better idea.
This is what people will see when they first walk through the door. In the back there’s a stage. We think this may have been an old refurbished firehouse or something. I love the rustic brick! It continues to the left, but hold your horses—we’re getting there!
Look up: there are GORGEOUS chandeliers all over the place! All of them are different, too.
Mrs. Taco, San FranciscoAge and Occupation: 29, writer/editorFiance's Age and Occupation: 37, editorEngagement Date: May 13, 2009Wedding Date: August 2010Venue: The Green Room at the War Memorial Veterans BuildingAbout Me: I like laughing and talking with good friends over good food and good drink, be it wine, cocktail, or brew. I write and edit things for fun and profit, but I rarely "write" these days without a keyboard and high-speed internets. Favorites include Mr. Taco, my Boston terrier, San Francisco, getting out of town, and the Roaring ’20s. I was kind-of planning a wedding since roughly 2006, when I discovered "Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?" on the WE channel. I ran and didn't look back with a theme I called "urban vintage," and it culminated in the most magical day a taco could ask for.
I wasn’t sure I wanted to write a budget recap for a few reasons. I wondered if it wasn’t that helpful—like it would only placate gawkers—and I worried people would crash my party of good intentions with barrels of haterade.
But I got over it, for a few other reasons. We don’t all wear a white dress, have flowers, booze, a sit-down reception, or a bridal party. But everyone who has a wedding has a budget. However large or small your shindig, it is impossible to budget and prioritize if you don’t know what things cost. Especially in the spendy Yay Area.
First off:
Our budget was $30K on the high end at the start of planning. We spent in the neighborhood of $37K - and had ~160 guests - once all was said and done.
An SFGate blog post indicated the average San Francisco wedding was $45K.
My MIL/FIL contributed 4 percent; Mr. T and I paid for the rest.
This does not include: rehearsal dinner/drinks, next day brunch—both of which were paid for by my MIL/FIL—honeymoon expenses, or my engagement ring.
These are good ballparks, not exact figures.
I did not account for a few craft expenses, or taking friendors out for a casual dinner/drinks while we talked details.
Mrs. Penguin, Northern CaliforniaAge and Occupation: 27, Weddingbee Editor in ChiefFiance's Age and Occupation: 30, Doctor of Physical TherapyEngagement Date: January 29, 2007Wedding Date: June 7, 2008Blogging Since: September 14, 2007Venue: Winery in the Gold CountryAbout Me: I love the Spice Girls, dogs with underbites, bean burritos, making messes, high fives, avoiding showers, crossword puzzles, blogs, weddings, and blogs about weddings!
Hi hive! The New York Post is collaborating with us here at Weddingbee on an article about used wedding dresses, and we’d love your input about your wedding dress!
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
We appreciate your responses. This survey will close on Monday, April 25 at 11:59 PM PST.
Mrs. Pain au Chocolat, Wilmington, DEAge and Occupation: 29, RealtorFiance's Age and Occupation: 34, RealtorEngagement Date: November 21, 2009Wedding Date: June 2011Venue: Greenville Country ClubAbout Me: An ENFJ with an artistic streak who loves backgammon, sailing, graphic design, and sleeping in. Travel (near or far), good wine, and tasty food makes my heart sing. I'm a compulsive list-maker who lives to plan and organize. Mr. P and I have lived together for 4 years, all the while renovating our city townhome bit by bit. We're planning a whimsical, Anthropologie-inspired garden wedding in June 2011.
What is it about men that allows an otherwise PITA chore to be so effortless?
Case in point: On an errand-filled Saturday, I suggested we pop into Macy’s to just browse through the ties. And half an hour later, Mr. PaC had found not only his tie, but also coordinating ties for his groomsmen!
From left: Ties for Mr. PaC, Best Man/Brother M, and Groomsman J
Mrs. Starfish, Boston/NewportAge and Occupation: 25, Operations AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 25, SalesEngagement Date: October 8, 2008Wedding Date: October 2010Venue: The Atlantic Beach ClubAbout Me: I'm a perfectionist who is a planner at heart. I don't do well with surprises. I love planning, crafting, Newport RI, family and friends, and most importantly, Mr. Starfish---all of which will be big components in our October wedding in our favorite little city by the sea.
As we arrived to the Atlantic beach club, cocktail hour was nearing and guests had already started to trickle in. As we stepped off the trolley, we were welcomed by familiar faces and headed down to the beach. We snuck in a few more photos of me and Mr. Starfish. Our photographer, Dave, was excited I had a long veil because they make for fun shots on windy days in Newport. Too bad my veil wasn’t cooperating.
Mrs. Seal, San FranciscoAge and Occupation: 25, Personal AssistantFiance's Age and Occupation: 29, Sales and Support SpecialistEngagement Date: December 12, 2009Wedding Date: November 2011Venue: Sts Peter and Paul Church/The Bently ReserveAbout Me: I am a goofy, wannabe crafty, well-intentioned Renaissance Woman (OK, perhaps "aimless wanderer" is a more aptly suited term for me, but hopefully you get the point)—basically I dabble in just about everything and pride myself in such. Without warning, I occasionally breakout into soulful improvised songs and interpretive dances and there's just no stopping me! As so many others before me, planning our wedding has unearthed a deep, intense passion for all things bridal and I secretly fear the day it will come to an end. Mr. Seal and I are quite the pair and life with him by my side is extremely rewarding—I am so thankful to have found him. Together we are planning a black-tie San Francisco affair for 250—light on the stuffiness and with lots of extra Seal-y flair.
Oh, the photo-booth trend! While booths at weddings are hardly rare finds these days, they’re definitely fun. And while they’ve become more commonplace, there is still plenty of room for individuality and personalization. (Think Mrs. Hot Wings’s DIY photo spot and Mrs. Taco’s vintage booth!) When the Sealman and I sat down to discuss whether or not this was a trend we also wanted to partake in, the conversation was short and the answer was clear.
Mrs. Hermit Crab - For the duration of our relationship, only one of us has ever been working full time. While Mr. HC was in medical school, I was working, and now that he is a resident, I am in a graduate program. Initially, I was very concerned about this role reversal, since I had been the one bringing money in, and I am generally the one who manages finances. Would I be able to get a manicure guilt-free? Questions like this had me very nervous about the switcheroo. As it happens, Mr. HC and I are very open when it comes to conversations about money, and we are understanding of the other’s situation. Aside from that it would be nice to have two incomes to offset the cost of living in NYC, it has worked out fine for us so far. It is practice for a potential situation if I decide to be a stay at home mom one day when that is relevant for us.
