Weddingbee Blog

I wrote the first half of this post when I was about one month in to my boot camp.

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Losing weight has been this all-consuming cloud that’s weighing over my life right now. It’s not necessarily a bad thing but I think about all the people I know that constantly count calories and are tortured by food and how annoying that is from an outsider’s perspective. And now, I just hate what I’ve become. (Yes, those same people are also skinny and fit and beautiful. Sooooo, cost/benefit.)

We decided that based on my basal metabolic rate (the amount of calories I expend while at rest in a day…so say, if I laid in bed all day for one day) plus the amount of activity I have in a typical day (I’m pretty sedentary), I burn about 1800 calories. This is if I don’t work out. So, from that, I set a goal for myself to consume 1200 calories per day, with one cheat day of 1800 calories per week.

I love counting calories; it’s the best “diet” I’ve ever been on. I (sort of) eat whatever I want…I just have to make better choices and really watch my portion sizes. It’s time consuming (calculating meals that will fit into my daily diet, logging everything in my Lose It calorie counter) but I haven’t really felt deprived and I’ve been going strong for a month living this way. Results are happening (obviously) and combined with rigorous workouts 4 times a week, it’s happening quite rapidly.

Sounds so easy right? Count calories. Work out. Lose weight.

Not so much. The psychology behind it all is really what’s torturing me through this whole process. Right now, I’m the person I loathe. Weekdays are easy—in my little controlled environment of my house where I choose and cook what we eat. The weekends though. The weekends.

A friend calls, want’s to go to dinner. I ask where we’re going. I look at the menu. It’s all devastating—Charcuterie. Cheese Boards. Flat breads. Hello? Nary a freakin’ salad in the house? My blood boils. I complain to my husband that the menu is ridiculous. I don’t want to go. I’d rather stay home.

And then I step back, horrified of what I’ve become. Salami is MY LIFE! Go eat some salami. Who cares if you don’t lose any weight this week.

I EFFING CARE. I worked out 4 days a week this week. I slaved over making sure that I stuck to 1200 calories a day. Sure, I’ve “allowed” myself a cheat day, but I really don’t feel like having a cheat day if it means that I can lose 2 pounds this week instead of one.

Then I think about my life before dieting. I didn’t even CARE that I was fat. I still don’t. But now—there’s just too much effort being put into this journey to just blow it off. Hours and hours of meal planning, working out…and let’s be honest…it’s EXPENSIVE. Nutrition classes. Trainer. Gas to get there.

Low calories in, dedication to rigorous 1 hour workouts 5 days a week. Down 6 pounds. Losing weight is easy.

I might lose all my friends. I hate going out to eat. All I can talk about is calories and what I’ve eaten today and how many calories I have left to consume in the day. I beat myself up over what goes in my mouth when I’m not in my house. Losing weight is hard.

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The good news? I got over that hill a few weeks later. Going out to eat no longer becomes this daunting “ruin my diet” type of thing. Through practice, you begin to learn what to eat, what to avoid, and simply, your stomach gets used to consuming less and you get full sooner. We still eat out three times a week. Does it throw me off track sometimes? Of course! My weight always spikes by 1.5-2 pounds on the weekends. ALWAYS!

It’s pretty easy to tell which days are Monday weigh ins (after fun fun weekends!)

It’s hard to swallow in the beginning, but after a few months you get used to the fact that yes, if you want to live your life on the weekend you’ll inevitably spike up. But consistent workouts and controlling portions on the weekdays will keep you trending down. And it feels awesome—both the weigh loss, and also knowing that hey—on Fridays and Saturdays, it’s time to enjoy life. You can diet the rest of the week.

So where does that leave me today? I started out at 165 pounds on February 1, 2011. Today on May 6, 2011 I’m 146.4 pounds.

Weight - 157 pounds (March 13, 2011):

Weight - 146.4 pounds (May 6, 2011):

I’m workin’ on that gut! It’ll get there. And my ass is definitely like 3 inches higher now…and distinguishable from the rest of my leg. And I promise to update.

Anyway, I hope that if you’re thinking about getting in shape for your wedding that you’ve gotten a little encouragement that it’s not an impossible task. I can’t stress enough how working out has become a part of my day that I really look forward to, and it’s all because combined with a revamped diet, I know when I walk out of the gym I’ll get results.

Looking for pals? Check out Weddingbee’s Biggest Loser, currently in week 3! I just joined! To hop in, simply enter last week’s weight and this week’s weight. Look for the thread every Friday, and the person that lost the most percentage body weight gets to change their avatar for the week to the special biggest loser badge. A big shout out to hive member mittens111211 for organizing the challenge!