Who Should Set Up?

Who Should Set Up?

May 9th, 2011 @ 6:26 pm by Mrs. Cinnamon Bun
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We’re closing in on the wedding, and I’m getting just a little panicky about all those little details. Like, you know, tables.

Our venue is a blank slate so we need to bring tables in. Our caterer said in our meeting that he could source, bring in, and set up tables for us, which sounds awesome. Until I get all crazy and want to set it up myself. We have the venue on the Friday night before the wedding, and we will be in to set up the ceremony space and as much decor as possible then. It really bugs me that I will not be there to set it all up. I won’t get to place centrepieces, tweak table cloths, or fiddle with the tables until they look just right. It will be in the hands of someone else, and sometimes I think that I won’t be able to handle that.

We do have a day-of coordinator (we’ve booked a stage manager friend for the day) so between her and the catering team I’m sure they’ll be more than capable. I just get a little twitchy worry about the room being not quite right.

The other option is that we source the tables ourselves, set them up Friday night, and tear them down on the Sunday. That way I get to be Controlly McControlingpants, and set everything up “perfectly” on Friday night. This also involves us tearing everything down on Sunday, plus transporting said tables somehow somewhere. I am now car-less, thanks to a hit-and-run of my PARKED car, not that many tables would have fit in my hatchback anyway, but it makes me feel that much more helpless.

We’re having a tapas-style reception, with no seating plan, in the hopes that people will mingle. We’re thinking about 30″ round tables, with some tall ones around the sides of the room for leaning/standing at, shorter ones with tables to sit at in the centre, and a lounge area somewhere. I have 0 ideas on how to set these things up! Mum wants some big tables put in there and reserved for family, so she doesn’t get stuck at the back of the room when speeches are happening. So we do that for my side, we have to do that for his side, so now we’ve got 3 large round tables, and assorted tall and short smaller rounds and lounge. ARGH.

Digression about how to set up aside, who should set up? Taking that on will be a lot of stress, but I feel stress right now about not being in control of it. Why can’t I let go and trust the wonderful friend who will be our DOC? Not to mention our very experienced caterer? Does the room being ‘perfect’ really matter that much? I know most brides don’t get the chance to set up their own space, so why can’t I just let go?

What would you pick?

A) You set up, which means more work and a 3-day table rental vs a 1 day, but the room is ‘just right’?

B) Trust the DOC and the caterer, have a 1-day table rental, and the room will be what it will be?

Tags: calgary, reception |

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29 Responses to “Who Should Set Up?”

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Member

lisaelanna (message) 315 posts, Helper bee

Oh man, it makes me so nervous to leave so much in someone else’s hands and go with option B. Is there any way the caterer could bring the tables and table cloths (at the very least) the night before so you can get the layout and centerpieces how you want them?

5/9/11 @ 6:40 pm (reply)

Member

Miss Dianna (message) 1 posts, Wannabee

Speaking from experience organizing large events in the past, don’t do it to yourself. It seems like you may be able to make it happen but time goes by faster than you think, stuff comes up, you forget something and have to devote time to it. It never goes exactly as you imagine. Allow them to set up and save your sanity. If you like provide them with a mock pic of what you want. But part of enjoying your day means you have to learn to let go and trust others. It will be okay.

5/9/11 @ 6:40 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Magic (message) 628 posts, Busy bee

Trust the DOC and the caterer, and sic a trusted aunt or someone with “The Vision” on them too.

5/9/11 @ 6:46 pm (reply)

Member

cosmo_gmr (message) 449 posts, Helper bee

why don’t you sketch a floorplan to give it to your DOC? and have someone to go take a look a couple hours before the wedding and let you know all is ok so you can relax XD

That is what I did. Besides I decided to completely trust the people I hired. I did hired them for their expertisse in the end.

Good luck!

5/9/11 @ 6:55 pm (reply)

Guest

a m.

Oh TOTALLY B. Don’t torture yourself. Come up with a detailed plan, take some photos of how the centerpieces should be, etc, then go over those things with your DOC. Let her know HOW important it is to you to have it that way, then let go.

5/9/11 @ 7:05 pm (reply)

Member

Misslizzy (message) 282 posts, Helper bee

I’m setting up myself. But i don’t want to! if your caterer will do it, let them!

5/9/11 @ 7:08 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Jaguar (message) 4,656 posts, Honey bee

I’d definitely pass on this one - give it to the DOC and have someone you know ’supervise’ it all. You will have WAY too much to do!

5/9/11 @ 7:10 pm (reply)

Member

KerriLM (message) 3 posts, Wannabee

As an event planner, and future bride, I feel your pain. I too have something similar happening (next April). Let me share a few thoughts with you to (hopefully) shed some light and ease the control freak in you (and all of us brides). Your caterer, day of coordinator, event planner etc.. they’re all here to make YOUR day special. So what that means is, tell them what you want, and they will do it. Be as specific as you need to be to make sure everything is just right. They want to make you happy and do things the way you want them. After all, it’s YOUR wedding not theirs. Do a mock up picture of how you’d like the table to be set up, give them details (space the votives in front of every other plate, or set the tables up at least 5 feet apart from one another), meet with them prior, send them emails… whatever you need to do to get your vision across, do it. When you get into the room, you will look around and be able to exhale, and enjoy your wedding. Keep in mind that only you will notice that that one votive isn’t exactly in the center of the table, no one else will… because they will be focusing on you.. the bride. Enjoy and don’t fret.

5/9/11 @ 7:17 pm (reply)

Guest

Corina

I have a feeling I am going to be the same way. You should let your friend handle that stuff. You shouldn’t worry about things like that on your wedding day.

5/9/11 @ 7:21 pm (reply)

10.

Member

rtnofthemack (message) 30 posts, Newbee

I say plan C…. only from personal experience. At my wedding the caterer brought the tables and chairs and we brought everything else. They set up all the big stuff and we did the rest. But, if you have the option to get it on Friday and have them do a full set up then you can either have them fly solo and make tweaks that night or, be there for the whole set up and make changes right then. Do make sure to have the caterers help move it all, those tables may not look heavy but they are!!

Don’t try to do it all on your wedding day unless you won’t take long to get ready. I took about 2 hours to get ready versus some brides who allow 8 hours to prep.

If you can at all help it though do it the day before so you can give final approval or bite the bullet and just trust your friend. Ultimatly, it won’t matter anyway. You think it will but those tiny tweaks will be forgotten once you walk into your reception anyway. And, all eyes will be on you and your hubby

5/9/11 @ 8:08 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

I’d say to go with Plan B, but provide a floor plan for your friend to refer to. It may not hurt to have someone who knows your style and vision periodically check in to make sure everything is going according to plan. We almost had a huge snafu where two extra tables were almost set up in the room, which would have totally nixed the dance floor.

5/9/11 @ 8:38 pm (reply)

12.

Guest

sara

B! Def B because I’m thinking you won’t care that much about all your decorations and stuff, you’ll be just dancing and having fun! Do a scetch and take pix of how you want it all. don’t make it too detailed so nothing will go wrong

5/9/11 @ 8:50 pm (reply)

13.

Member

mkewed2010 (message) 508 posts, Busy bee

I think option B! My Day of coordinator said to take pictures of how I want things set up so she knows exactly what to do. I have a detailed list of things and how I would like them and I’m going to add a picture to each step so people can visualize what you tell them. Good luck!

5/9/11 @ 9:03 pm (reply)

14.

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,171 posts, Honey bee

I understand it being difficult to let go and allow someone else to take over the setup, but I think you’ll be glad if you do. I agree with @cosmo_gmr, you should map it out beforehand and leave the rest to your DOC. And, if it’s not perfect you might not even notice because you’re having a wonderful day with your new husband.

5/9/11 @ 9:11 pm (reply)

15.

Member

DuckyLeigh (message) 32 posts, Newbee

I also agree that you should just hand it off to the professionals. It was hard for me to do, but think about it this way - How many centerpieces and floorplans have you put together? Probably one of each. How many have the caterer and DOC done? Probably more than one of each. Trust their expertise and guide them with written plans of what you want - it will be fine. 99% of the guests won’t notice if one of the tables is placed slightly “off”, but most of them would probably will notice if you look a little stressed and frazzled day of. Save yourself the money, time, and stress

5/9/11 @ 11:00 pm (reply)

16.

Guest

Jennifer - Bells n Whistles

Ohh darling, I feel your pain. For my own wedding I was the exact same way and guess what - they messed it up and I didn’t even care!

BUT, as a planner and co-ordinator myself, I always do a table setup and have photos and information (eg, if it’s complicated, I might write details like 4 votives, each votive a different colour, 3 vases with xx flowers (delivered by XX)…and so on. The more details and photos you can leave for your co-ordinator the easier it will be for them to get it perfect for you on your wedding day.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not setup yourself Just sit back and enjoy your amazing day

5/9/11 @ 11:40 pm (reply)

17.

Guest

periwinkle

Have them set up, with enough time to look around before the party and tweak anything that needs tweaking.

Whatever you do, don’t take down. We did it, and trust me - you’ll be so OVER it by then, you’ll just be annoyed at having to do it.

5/9/11 @ 11:58 pm (reply)

18.

Member

lcweddings (message) 11 posts, Newbee

Oh Miss CB! Let Go!!! If you have a DOC then you should have shown her an exact example of your table-scaping design - and your DOC should have many pictures of this and many notes regarding this setup.
I’m a DOC and I couldn’t imagine going into the big day without those details! The point is to execute your vision and so I vote to go with plan B - having a DOC is so you can relax and enjoy this time! day before shouldn’t be full of stress and hard labor. It should be of bursting joy and excitement! Don’t stress if each and every little detail isn’t down to the centimeter of placement - but it should be darn close if you’ve worked out these details with your DOC! :o)

5/10/11 @ 12:46 am (reply)

19.

Member

ItsPronounced_ABear (message) 669 posts, Busy bee

Definitely outsource this one. I’m sure you’ll find a TON of other truely last minute things only YOU can handle. Give them a picture of how the set up centerpieces should look and let it go. You may be so distracted on the day that you don’t even notice if it’s not “perfect”. (And hint: no one else will notice either!)

5/10/11 @ 7:08 am (reply)

20.

Member

mrsbowieii (message) 692 posts, Busy bee

I definitely say option B that’s the reason you have a DOC so you don’t have to stress about things like that. Do a floor plan and maybe a mock-up to give them something to go and then let it go… It will all be beautiful in the end.

5/10/11 @ 7:33 am (reply)

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