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Mrs. Snow Cone, Pittsburgh/Johnstown, PA Age and Occupation: 23, Public Health Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Engineer Engagement Date: April 9, 2010 Wedding Date: August 2011 Venue: OMOS Church ceremony/Sunnehanna Country Club reception About Me: I’m one of the lucky ones---I met my future husband at the ripe old age of 13, started dating him as a mature woman of 15, and have been enjoying the ride ever since. Here we are, 8 years later, living in Pittsburgh, planning a "homestination" wedding in the place our school romance began---Johnstown, PA. I thrive on talking a mile a minute, eating my weight in chocolate, and internet shopping. I love a lengthy to-do list almost as much as I love a healthy amount of chaos in my life. Mr. Snow Cone and I watch countless episodes of Friends and The West Wing on repeat, root for rival college sports teams, and make each other laugh each and every day. We’re putting together a small-town wedding with a big personality and a classically modern (or modernly classic?) look for 250 of our closest family and friends. It’s been 8+ years in the making, and sometimes I still can’t believe I’m finally getting to marry my high school sweetheart!
About Mrs. Snow Cone

After an exhaustive and exhausting search for BM dresses, I came to the following conclusion: with seven bridesmaids, it’s next to impossible to find one singular selection of anything that will appease and please all seven of them. Each girl has her own personality, style, preferences, and comfort levels, making the task of putting together an outfit for all seven of them to wear quite the tall order. I felt such immense relief once we finally picked a BM dress that I couldn’t really muster up the strength to go through the BM ringer once again, seeking the perfect accessories. I gagged at the thought of sending and receiving dozens of emails, all containing various votes and preferences for the umpteen permutations of options, never knowing if some people were being problematically honest while others were politely but unhelpfully biting their tongues. Nope. I’m not going to do it and you can’t make me.

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes Funny P02 funny-p02

Image via Science Notes by I Can Has Cheezburger

I decided to do what any mature, rational bride would do: force others into making the decision for me delegate. I didn’t see much point in scouring the internet to find some affordable/realistic/stylish/well-liked accessories for all seven girls. So, I washed my hands of this responsibility. I told all of my BMs that they were officially empowered to find their own accessories. I gave them a few guidelines, though, being the control freak that I occasionally am. As for the shoes, the ‘maids are supposed to pick black, preferably open-toe, and nothing that makes a nasty flip-flop flip-flop noise as they walk. For the jewelry, I am requesting pearls. However, the pearls can be white, gray, green, or purple (our wedding color palette), and they can be as simplistic, quirky, classic, funky, delicate, or chunky as the ‘maids want. The jewelry can also contain other stones or gemstones, as long as pearls are definitely in the mix.

Overall, I’m pretty content with the decision to hand off these choices to my seven lady friends. They have a pretty wide range in height, so I didn’t want to force anyone into a shoe that was too short or too tall for her comfort zone. My ultimate goal is to give the BMs an opportunity to reuse some nice pieces they already own, or to purchase some staples they may want to add to their wardrobes, like a great pair of black pumps. They each have great style, but in very different ways, so I’m confident that they’ll use this task as a way of adding a touch of individuality to the clone world of bridesmaid-dom.

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes Ugly Br ugly-br

Worst cloning EVER (Image via Wedding Pipe)

If I were a BM in my own wedding, here are some choices I’d be seriously considering.

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes Snoco1 snoco1

Necklace from JCPenney ($17.99)

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes Snoco2 snoco2

Necklace from Kohl’s ($52)

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes 41vzqfq 41VZQfq

Necklace from Amazon ($39.99)

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes 1546931 1546931

Nina Criana - Available at Zappos ($79.95)

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes 9994 71 9994-71

Stuart Weitzman Gigiritz - Available at Zappos ($298)

Lazy or Considerate? You Decide. :  wedding accessories pittsburgh shoes 1281856 1281856

RSVP Angela - Available at Zappos ($49.94)

…but that’s just me and my personal style.

How are you approaching the BM-accessory situation? Shooting for uniformity or individuality?

Tags: accessories, pittsburgh, shoes |
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19 Responses to “Lazy or Considerate? You Decide.”

1.
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Member
LeDayz (message)  18 posts, Newbee

I made the jewelry for my cousin’s wedding and will probably make it for my own as well, since I am having a ton of bead-themed ideas suddenly (table confetti? PFT, let’s get something reusable like seed beads!) I’m tempted to have wire and clasps on the tables for guests to make their own necklaces while they party… HMMMM

 
2.
Member Icon
Member
GirlKy (message)  21 posts, Newbee

I really like the idea of the pearls in your wedding colors! That will give them the chance to be individuals while also coming together in a uniform look. Genius. =)

 
3.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pony (message)  4,175 posts, Honey bee

I’m all about having my ladies make the decisions. I’ll give them some general parameters and let them decide whether to buy something new, use something they have, or borrow from someone else. I feel like most ladies appreciate the freedom (and potential cost savings).

 
4.
Ryna
Member
Ryna (message)  4,207 posts, Honey bee

It’s all up to them. One of my girls HATES shopping, the other has a completely different style than the other two, and the third lives in Richmond and her craptastic band director got her fired, so she’s currently job hunting. (Her friends, myself included, have all wished a horrible fate unto said band director as all good friends, should… what? you mean not all friends do that?! oh, well. ;) )

As long as the girls come in a costume, they can do their hair however they want and wear whatever jewelry works best for them and their chosen outfit.

Less stress for me. ;)

 
5.
sdrury89
Member
sdrury89 (message)  1,562 posts, Bumble bee

haha, I’m all for letting the girls decide.
Also, I may or may not have sent that exact picture to several people while planning this wedding, including, but not limited to, my mom, FI, MOH, FSIL, and most often FMIL.
I’m all for sticking my head in the sand lately and just praying I get it together in time to get things done. lol

 
6.
toshella
Member
toshella (message)  642 posts, Busy bee

Hey, another 7 bridesmaid girl here! :) I’m probably going to do the same as you - pick any shoes you want in gold, and wear pearls. Actually, I think you’re being way kinder than I am - most girls already own black shoes, and I would probably insist on ivory pearls. Oh well!

 
7.
Mrs. Elephant
Bee
Mrs. Elephant (message)  6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

We lucked out finding necklaces and earrings that everyone liked when we were all together, but I left the shoes, hair styles and style of dress (same maker and color) up to the girls.

 
8.
TheFutureMcBride
Member
TheFutureMcBride (message)  4,479 posts, Honey bee

My posse could wear whatever dress, shoes, accessories they wanted as long as the dress was a specific color, which was actually my husband’s requirement. I wanted them to just find a dress that was close to our blue color and call it a day.

 
9.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Pain au Chocolat (message)  1,698 posts, Bumble bee

I tried getting my two girls to pick their own shoes and jewelry. You see how the jewelry search went (lots of emails with notes back and forth). I did NOT want to be in charge of it. With just two girls, we decided a more uniform look was best.

 
10.
TinyTina
Member
TinyTina (message)  3,312 posts, Sugar bee

It’s all up to them! I have 6 girls with 6 very different body types, so I chose the length and color of their dresses and let them go wild. ;) Shoes are up to them (again in the same color) and I haven’t decided what to do with jewelry yet.

I say considerate! (Although your “force others to make the decision for me” approach is the same I’ve chosen… Thanks for planning our wedding Mom! :D)

 
11.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss High Wire (message)  754 posts, Busy bee

All my girls are picking out their own dress (as long as its dark green, NOT shiny satin, and knee-length). Once they’ve all chosen dresses we’ll move on to accessories. I think I’d like to pick out the accessories and pay for them myself. I loved what Mrs. Earrings’ ladies wore. So I may try to emulate that.

 
12.
Guest Icon
Guest
Sarah

Seriously? It sounds like you want to think of yourself as a laid back bride but you’re totally not. It doesn’t sound considerate or lazy to me. It sounds a tad bit micro managing.

 
13.
hbear
Member
hbear (message)  35 posts, Newbee

i totally hear you!!! i have 8 bms.. there were a whole slew of dress email ideas that just about killed me. but i finally just picked one (macys, calvin klein) that looked like it would fit well on all the varying body types. i left shoes and accessories up to them as long as the shoes were grey. i have no preference on the accessories though.
good luck!!!

 
14.
Guest Icon
Guest
Caitlin

I felt a little bad about how I picked my girls dresses: the convertible one-size-fits-all dress in the color I wanted was on sale for $60, so I just bought them! Although they’re excited they can wear it however they want. Mine is Ravon by Von Vonni (off of ideeli.com) but they have similar dresses at http://www.twobirdsbridesmaids.com) And I’ve told them they’re in charge of black shoes and whatever they want for jewelry.. I think I’m just lazy!

 
15.
Mrs. Tartlet
Bee
Mrs. Tartlet (message)  3,207 posts, Sugar bee

I like how you gave them some direction! After my three BMs picked out the same dress, we decided to stick with the uniform look.

 
16.
Ree723
Member
Ree723 (message)  1,569 posts, Bumble bee

I only have 3 bridesmaids but I couldn’t be bothered with picking out accessories for them - I don’t even like picking out accessories for myself! They can do whatever they want. I’d prefer if they wore pearls but I’m certainly not going to dictate that. Same with shoes (they have long dresses anyway) and any other jewelry. I trust them and in the end, I probably won’t even notice on the day of anyway! :-)

 
17.
lisaelanna
Member
lisaelanna (message)  315 posts, Helper bee

I’m really HOPING that my BMs will all opt for something that is uniquely their style, rather than something they think will be what I want. I personally hate trying to uniformize everyone (although I’m not a fan of the “pick out your own dress” BM dress option) and have told my ladies that they’re to choose their own hairstyle, jewelry and shoes. After all, they know best what looks good on them…

 
18.
MELIS5A
Member
MELIS5A (message)  304 posts, Helper bee

I actually agree with you on this one… theres no way to please everyone so delegating responsibility makes sense. Im leaving the dress selection up to my MOH of course she has to narrow it down to 3 dresses and out of the 3 Ill choose the 1 they will all wear… the jewelry will consist of pearls which I will select and lastly the shoes will all be gold (any style they want) and the hair as long as its a natural color that can be grown from a heads (and not mixed in a box or bowl), can be styled anyway they want Im over it LOL

 
19.
Kcoleybear
Member
Kcoleybear (message)  683 posts, Busy bee

Black pumps and pearls are staples of every women’s wardrobe. I think this was the perfect solution.

 

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Mrs. Snow Cone
Mrs. Snow Cone

Mrs. Snow Cone, Pittsburgh/Johnstown, PA Age and Occupation: 23, Public Health Graduate Student Fiance's Age and Occupation: 23, Engineer Engagement Date: April 9, 2010 Wedding Date: August 2011 Venue: OMOS Church ceremony/Sunnehanna Country Club reception About Me: I’m one of the lucky ones---I met my future husband at the ripe old age of 13, started dating him as a mature woman of 15, and have been enjoying the ride ever since. Here we are, 8 years later, living in Pittsburgh, planning a "homestination" wedding in the place our school romance began---Johnstown, PA. I thrive on talking a mile a minute, eating my weight in chocolate, and internet shopping. I love a lengthy to-do list almost as much as I love a healthy amount of chaos in my life. Mr. Snow Cone and I watch countless episodes of Friends and The West Wing on repeat, root for rival college sports teams, and make each other laugh each and every day. We’re putting together a small-town wedding with a big personality and a classically modern (or modernly classic?) look for 250 of our closest family and friends. It’s been 8+ years in the making, and sometimes I still can’t believe I’m finally getting to marry my high school sweetheart!

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