Miss Jaguar. Mrs Jaguar. Mr. Jaguar. Oi!

I haven’t mentioned our stance on the name-change game in all of the months I’ve been blogging on Weddingbee. I’m not quite sure why: it just never came up, I suppose. We’ve been wedding planning for such a long time now that we sort of just “forgot” about a few things that are going to be happening soon—making a decision about my surname being one of them.

I’m a primary school teacher. My kids this year are in year 1 and 2, so they range between the ages of 5-8, depending on when they started kindergarten. Kids that age are funny with teacher names. I think they grow up with so many older teachers that “Mrs” becomes something that they automatically associate with female teachers. That’s why, ever since I first started teaching, I’m used to being called “Mrs S.” It doesn’t matter how many times I correct them, or remind them that I’m not married yet and that I go by “Miss S”—they just instinctively call me whatever rolls off the tongue. They’re littlies, it happens. I go by all sorts of abbreviations; I’ve even been called “Mr. S” before—seriously.

mr-men-little-miss-gang

Little Miss? Mr.? Mrs? Image via: Wikispaces

I’m not in a career where I’m building a name for myself with my surname. And while I’m very attached to my name (it’s my name!), after the wedding I will be taking Mr. Jaguar’s surname. There are a million reasons why I’e decided to do it, just as there are a million other reasons why keeping my maiden name would be as perfectly good a choice. At the end of the day though, I want us to form our own family—and if we have wee cubs in the future, I want us all to share the same name. (Also, I may or may not have been practising a signature with my new surname since oh, a few years before we got engaged? True story. Mr. Jaguar has a pretty name.)

Just because making the decision was a fairly easy one though, doesn’t mean that the transition will be. Mr. Jaguar has been teasing me lately by calling me “Mrs. D”—and it just doesn’t feel like ME yet. In my eyes, “Mrs. D” = future mother-in-law. And for as long as I can remember, whilst teaching I’ve always been “Miss (or Mrs!) S.” Coming back after the honeymoon as “Mrs D” is going to be SO WEIRD. And don’t even get me started on the trillions of documents I’ll need to switch over once the honeymoon is over—that’s going to be painful, I can tell.

Did you, or do you plan to, keep or change your surname after marriage?

BLOGGER

Mrs. Jaguar

Birthday:
July 31
Location:
Sydney
Wedding Date:
June 2011

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  1. Member
    TheFutureMcBride 4485 posts, Honey bee @ 5:34 pm

    I just changed my name today during lunch. It’s taken me almost a year to do it because it’s hard, but I finally am legally McLastName and not MaidenNamee. It’s crazy, now to jump through all the hoops.

  2. Member
    Knubbsy-Wubbsy 2397 posts, Buzzing bee @ 5:46 pm

    I don’t know about what I’m doing with my name yet but it’s funny- there are girls in my minor who call the director of the museum “Ms. C” despite the fact that she’s married AND has a doctorate. Some habits never change I guess.

  3. Member
    elephant 6339 posts, Bee Keeper @ 5:48 pm

    I changed mine, and I just wanted to say it felt weird at first for me too because that is what I called his mother. Right now I’m in the process of changing it at work. So many little steps.

  4. Member
    lisamarieloves 19 posts, Newbee @ 5:55 pm

    I cannot WAIT to change my last name to my fiance’s. Even though I am in a profession where, for the past three years, I have been trying to build a name for myself and, I will nevertheless change it. Like you, I want to have the same last name is my future husband and our future children. Also, I just like his last name better than mine!

  5. Member
    highwire 1021 posts, Bumble bee @ 5:59 pm

    Changing mine! I’m excited. :)

  6. Member
    MegHow 22 posts, Newbee @ 5:59 pm

    I am also a teacher and have decided to change my last name. Yesterday we had a transition day at school where the kids go up to the next grade level to meet their teachers for the next year. It’s very laid back so I just have them tell me their name and one thing about themselves. I started out by telling them my name, and the one thing about me was that that wouldn’t be my name when we started back to school b/c I was getting married this summer. I’m glad our wedding is this summer so that I’ll start the school year fresh with my new name, rather than in the middle of it!

  7. Member
    MissCasey 223 posts, Helper bee @ 5:59 pm

    I’m a high school teacher, and my students (no matter how many times I correct them or they correct each other) call me Mrs. K… Guess it’s something they never grow out of!

    I’m totally looking forward to changing my last name. I have a last name that’s tricky to pronounce and spell. I’m excited to not have to spell my last name every time I give it to someone!

  8. Member
    emtee 85 posts, Worker bee @ 6:06 pm

    I’m changing my name. I love my last name, but being part of “Team His-Last-Name” is going to be awesome, too.

    As my FMIL is divorced and goes by her maiden name, there’s no Mrs. His-Last-Name in my life and I’m ok with assuming that role :)

  9. Guest Icon Guest
    lilly, Guest @ 7:41 pm

    i will b changing my last name. im not sure how to feel about it for several reasons…….
    reason number 1
    im going from a totally “normal” last name (ie smith)
    to a very unique last name (ie jinglehimerschmidt)
    so for that reason im a little nervious. no one ask how to spell smith!
    reason number 2
    when i was born my parents were young and unmarried. (gasp lol jk) so my mother gave me her maiden name. then they married had my sister and bam im the only smith! so for this reason it will be nice to share a last name with someone i love. and i know i wouldnt want my furture kids to have to explain why its last name is different then mine.
    so there im changing my last name!

  10. Member
    frenchbulldog 1088 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:45 pm

    I took Mr Frenchie’s last name and I will say it took some getting used to, but now I’m completely okay with it. I’m actually a bit thrown off now when someone uses my maiden name.

  11. Member
    Sunlavender 567 posts, Busy bee @ 8:07 pm

    I’m a teacher as well and will be changing mine. I’m happy to do so, but am definitely not looking forward to all the paperwork. Yuck!

  12. Member
    Owlie 76 posts, Worker bee @ 8:14 pm

    I just heard from another teacher friend who recently got back from her honeymoon. She had a student teacher in the classroom who was referring to “Mrs H” and she was wondering who it was. When she worked out it was her, she burst out laughing in the middle of class :)

    Having said that, I’m also a teacher who will change her last name. Moving down from A to R on the detention roster has to be a good thing, right? :)

  13. Member
    ruby26 1019 posts, Bumble bee @ 8:17 pm

    I’m a primary school teacher too, and am currently a Miss S!! And after I marry my SO, I’ll become Mrs. D as well! :-)

  14. Member
    Ree723 1941 posts, Buzzing bee @ 8:50 pm

    I’m a teacher and will soon be a Mrs. D too! I’m excited to change names and I’ve always called FMIL by her first name, so no weirdness with Mrs. D being FMIL! Not looking forward to changing names internationally though….

  15. Member
    Miss Sox in the City 285 posts, Helper bee @ 9:36 pm

    Another teacher here! I kept my maiden name though. My high school students call me all three: Ms., Miss., and Mrs. Any of them are fine with me! Although I love the idea of having the same last name as my husband and future children, I can’t jump on board with the idea that I’m the only one who has to change it. My husband didn’t want to hyphenate his name, so I’m not doing it either. :)

  16. Member
    Darlings 2 posts, Wannabee @ 3:44 am

    I know how you feel, Miss Sox, about not wanting to be the only one whom makes a change to their name upon marrying!!!

    One of future-Mister-Darlings opening lines to me when we met was how he was willing to one day take on his wife’s maiden name or combine names into something new. How…darling!! That got instant bonus points from me because I am one of those women with a strong attachment to my maiden name…plus, our names go so well together: same number of letters, same sounds, same tone. Who wouldn’t want to have them both?!

    But, since we’ve become engaged, I brought up the subject of becoming the future Mr. & Mrs. Starling-Darlings (in a light-hearted manner) and he now admits he was just kidding…he didn’t want to lose his family name once married.

    Although I wasn’t surprised by this confession of his true feelings, I must admit it did hurt to lose that dream of us both transforming into something new from our former selves…together.

    Plus, I don’t want to lose my family name either. And, even though shortly after our engagement I announced to our families that I would be keeping my name but adding his to the end of mine, I still feel like I am being pressured to become the future Mrs. Darlings!!

    Maybe it’s just well-meaning co-workers and old-fashioned mortgage lenders, but I do feel in a bit of a quandary when I express that I want to maintain part of my identity after marriage. Where I pictured the future Ms. Starling-Darlings everyone else sees only Mrs. Darlings…

  17. Guest Icon Guest
    Suzie, Guest @ 4:05 am

    How come there never seems to be a possibility of the guy changing his name in the US??

    My fiance is going to take my name since his name is more common than mine.

  18. Member
    FutureMrsMaher 856 posts, Busy bee @ 9:22 am

    also a teacher and also always called Mrs by the younger ones in the school (ages 11-18)!
    I’m changing my name- as a teacher I know it’ll take a while for those kiddies who know you to adjust but apart from that don’t see any reason why not to. Exept that I have a first name no one can pronounce and FI has a surname no one can pronounce- that’s gonna get annoying!!

  19. Member
    stargirlmia89 66 posts, Worker bee @ 12:52 pm

    I’ve had a few teachers who changed their names while I was in school, but it’s not that hard to get used to. I’m going to be a teacher too, and I always worried about it, but then again, I don’t even know when I’m getting married/who I’m getting married to, so who knows if I’m changing my name!?

  20. Guest Icon Guest
    beachykeenmle, Guest @ 1:26 pm

    I just had to explain to my students again today that my name is not yet Mrs. HisLastname. We just got engaged, not married. This whole thing confuses even 8th graders! I’m not married, so I’m a Miss, yet I am called Mrs. almost every day.

    The funny thing is, my fiance is a teacher here, too so the news spread like widlfire when they found out, yet the Miss/Mrs. concept is still so difficult to them.

    I don’t remember it being so difficult to understand when I was younger…

  21. Guest Icon Guest
    KMA, Guest @ 2:53 pm

    In the long process of changing mine. It is a pain and weird! But luckily his mom has a different last name, so that hasn’t freaked either of us out much…

  22. Member
    stephbonthego 710 posts, Busy bee @ 5:10 pm

    Mr. D’s name is very ethnic and rare. I’m excited to be able to take his name once we are wed!

  23. Member
    nicoliolihpf 232 posts, Helper bee @ 7:50 pm

    I know just what you mean about kids being funny with names. At my job, we’re all “Miss…” or Mr….” Our First Name, so I know when I get married, I’ll still be “Miss Nicole.” I’m hoping I might get the older kids to transition to “Ms.” at some point, but honestly, I’m much more comfortable with “Miss” than “Mrs.” anyway. I’m so not old enough for that title regardless of marital status.

  24. Member
    snowcone 1141 posts, Bumble bee @ 7:30 am

    I can totally see myself as a 1st grader making every walking female a mrs…. never even thought of that now!

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