I have one tip for everyone who is planning a wedding when their parents/bridal party/best friends are not in the same city. Use photos! In this email age, there is no excuse not to email pictures to your loved ones who are helping you plan (in my case, my parents). I’m not too great with words when I’m just talking (but they run like a river when I’m typing!) so a lot of our misunderstandings stemmed from that, I’m sure. That and the filter effect of trying to describe to a person the picture inside your head. The words you might use to describe something may not be the ones that evoke the right image for your listener. If I’d sent an email with a few photos to explain my ideas before I phoned Cinnamum to talk about X idea, I’m sure some things would have been smoother. Think about how good your ‘audience’ is at visualizing. There is no shame in being on the phone and sitting at your computer collecting photos into an email. Then you can say “I’ve just sent you an example of what we’re talking about!” and if they’ve got a computer handy, you’re immediately on the same page.
Here’s an example of some of the mix-ups we’ve had:
Example 1: I said: “Well, there’s these things I’ve seen called aisle runners, and it’s like fabric with a monogram or names or the date painted on to it and put down in the aisle. I’d be a little worried about it wrinkling up, so maybe we could use double-sided tape to keep it straight?”
I meant:
Photo by Chuck Fazio, via Customized Wedding Creations
Cinnamum saw:
Crumpled sheets photo via Apartment Therapy
Example 2: I said: “I was thinking we could have lemonade and water there before the ceremony, if people are thirsty. We could get some drink dispensers, you know, the things with the taps at the bottom…what do you call those?”
I meant:
Image via Classic Hostess
Cinnamum saw:
Image via Shop.com
Now these two incidents were quite far apart, time-wise. The aisle-runner thing happened soon after getting engaged, and we had the drink dispenser conversation a few weeks ago. In the second case, I realised what had happened before mum had time to say anything, and quickly continued with “You know, the nice glass ones with metal spouts. I bet I could find some at Pottery Barn!” I’d learned to listen to myself to see if I was giving all the right information, but I still hadn’t learned to take my own advice to send an email with a photo.
Mum has been a big proponent of bunting all through this wedding, and she was telling one of her friends about it, and she had to pull out a photo!
Cinnamum meant:
Photo via United With Love, taken by Lisa Boggs Photography
Cinnamum’s friend saw:
Image via Cokesbury Automotive
Have you had any misunderstandings when trying to explain your ideas?
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