Do It Yourself vs. Delegate

Do It Yourself vs. Delegate

May 26th, 2011 @ 9:37 am by Mrs. Magic
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I don’t think of myself as some obsessive compulsive, detail focused, perfectionistic b-word (you could insert the traditional b-word here, or the wedding related b-word…they both work), but maybe I am. Or maybe everyone* else just sucks.

I’m referring to wedding related tasks and actually accomplishing wedding related tasks. Seems like I am doing a lot, which yes, I mostly enjoy…but…others say they will do certain tasks and then…nothing.

Do It Yourself vs. Delegate : wedding chapel hill Declutt1 Declutt

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My hypothesis is: I’m awesome and do things best, and everyone* else just sucks. Can you have a two pronged hypothesis? I should have read Miss Pony’s scientific post more carefully…

Here’s the pro - con list that will count as this completely unbiased experimental design.

Do It Yourself Myself

Pros:

The task gets done.
The task gets done correctly, or, well, close enough.
The task gets done in the time frame I planned.
If the task doesn’t get done, I just blame myself. (This is a pro and a con.)

Cons:

I feel resentful that I am doing everything.
If the task doesn’t get done, I just blame myself. (See? Pro and con!)

Delegate

Pros:

Someone else, X, does it! Mr. Magic, a parent, a friend…yay!

Cons:

X might not do it. Like, ever.
If X does it, it might not be right.
If X does it, it might take 27x as long, which causes me to:
1. Give lots of reminders. That’s annoying to everyone involved…especially me but especially X.
2. Feel bitter.
3. Go insane(r).
4. Expend mental energy remembering that it is on my To Do List but I can’t check it off until X does it.
  1. Feel bitter.
  2. Go even more insane(r).

Seems like, obviously, it is easier to just do it (all) myself. I feel so satisfied and yet so unsatisfied with my discovery!

Do you delegate? Is it easier just to do it yourself?

*If you were wondering if “everyone” includes you, it most likely does not…unless you agreed to do a task and did not do it. Then, yeah, it most likely does.

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38 Responses to “Do It Yourself vs. Delegate”

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Member

JBelle7757 (message) 204 posts, Helper bee

I NEVER delegate. It’s very hard for me to give up control! Therefore I’ve done 99.9% of all the wedding stuff, but at least I know it’s done right!

5/26/11 @ 9:44 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Bunting (message) 458 posts, Helper bee

I’ve been trying to delegate as much as I can, but it’s hard for the very reasons you listed. I haven’t really experienced the problem of the things not getting done, just that they weren’t done exactly how I envisioned. In which case I try and tell myself to stop griping, be thankful for the help, and move on. It works with some things, but I just end up doing the really important things myself because then I have all the control.

5/26/11 @ 9:49 am (reply)

Guest

ValerieJene1022

I can completely relate to this. I have barely delegated anything. I am so afraid it won’t get done because it doesn’t mean as much to some one else as it does myself or that it won’t be done the way I want. It just seems so much easier to do it on my own. On the plus side, if it doesn’t get done it’s my own fault. It’s pretty much huge arguement prevention for me.

5/26/11 @ 9:49 am (reply)

Member

doxie (message) 166 posts, Blushing bee

Actually tonight my sisters are supposed to come over and help me cut and put all of our invites together… I am already nervous delegating, and I’ll be there to watch! Haha. I would rather do it all myself!

5/26/11 @ 9:50 am (reply)

Guest

engaged711

The first task I tried to delegate - asking my mom & his mom to collect guest addresses from their respective sides - still isn’t done even though I asked for the lists by May 12th! How am I supposed to send out my STDs without any addresses?!? It sure is frustrating…..

5/26/11 @ 9:50 am (reply)

Guest

coasterkim

Wow, I could have written this post, just not as eloquently. I am just like you. When I do delegate, and people don’t do it like I want or in the time that I want, I get nuts. So yes, I usually do things myself. It’s just easier in the long run, though I do get stressed and bitter. So it’s a toss up! Thanks for making me feel like I’m not the only one.

5/26/11 @ 9:51 am (reply)

Guest

coasterkim

And to engaged711, I asked my FH to get me his family and friends list for the invites like a month ago and I’m still waiting. Sigh.

5/26/11 @ 9:52 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Magic (message) 628 posts, Busy bee

@ValerieJene1022: Exactly! I think others just don’t understand how important some things are to us!
@engaged711 and @coasterkim: Um yeah, same here and our STDs have already gone out. That’s right, some people just did not and will not get them. ALSO…some people on Mr. M’s side of the family had names misspelled or the completely wrong name on the envelope. Embarrassing, yes. But also 100% not my fault.

5/26/11 @ 9:56 am (reply)

Member

WillowH (message) 375 posts, Helper bee

haha, I am with coasterkim, I could have written this, Lol, delegate is not in my dictionary, like at all!

5/26/11 @ 9:57 am (reply)

10.

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,175 posts, Honey bee

Girl, you can make your hypothesis whatever you want!

I’ve found it easier to do a lot of things myself too, but I will delegate and/or supervise when I know other people’s talents are much better suited to the task (ie: using power tools). I’m thinking delegating to a professional is where it is at.

5/26/11 @ 9:58 am (reply)

11.

Member

piglover (message) 196 posts, Blushing bee

Magic this is me to a T! I always want help but once someone starts to help I always eventually snatch it back to correct it to my standards.. :/ I can’t help it! Its the type A personality I tend to be a bit of a control freak.

5/26/11 @ 9:58 am (reply)

12.

Bee

Mrs. Giraffe (message) 4,219 posts, Honey bee

Magic, you get me.
I am a serious control freak and could not let anything go. Sure,a normal bride-to-be might have trusted her future husband with things like assembling favors or putting flowers on pew bows, but I just could no let go. I couldn’t.

I was just thinking about that this morning actually. I’m not sure if it was a good or bad thing, but I think it was easier than letting someone create something that I may not have liked.

5/26/11 @ 10:02 am (reply)

13.

Member

MrsMcGyro (message) 1,500 posts, Bumble bee

Yup, this is pretty much my wedding planning in a nut shell! Glad we can all relate!

5/26/11 @ 10:05 am (reply)

14.

Member

mrsbowieii (message) 693 posts, Busy bee

I feel like this alot but then I am a bit (read as alot) obessive and compulsive. I approach everything for the wedding with the same professionalism and passion that I would if I was at work. Everything has a place and a timeline… I just can’t help it.

FI and I have alot of disagreements about it because he is horrible about sticking to my timeline but somehow we manage to get things done.

5/26/11 @ 10:08 am (reply)

15.

Member

Ramble10 (message) 18 posts, Newbee

My least favourite thing in the world - and something that has been happening in my camp a LOT lately - the task is delegated and then person x feels as though they need to ask you questions about said job every five minutes until you go insane!! OR person x decides that they can now take the project in any direction they see fit without so much as a word to you so that they spend a lot of time and money on this project only to have me be annoyed and upset because it is NOTHING like I wanted in the first place.

so yes - I either do it all myself or end up delegating but being a part of the process myself - which means….I haven’t delegated at all and I still end up DIMing!!

5/26/11 @ 10:29 am (reply)

16.

Member

Ramble10 (message) 18 posts, Newbee

oh and it’s good to know that I am not the only TYPE A obsessive compulsive who finds this type of thing difficult to do lol

5/26/11 @ 10:31 am (reply)

17.

Member

TinyTina (message) 3,312 posts, Sugar bee

I thought I was the only one! I’m probably going to do all the invitations myself because I’m pretty certain that anyone I ask to help me will just do it wrong!!

FWIW, I’m like this with everything in life, not just wedding planning. FI likes to repeat back to me one of my more well-known phrases… “I can do it myself!!!!”

5/26/11 @ 10:53 am (reply)

18.

Member

babybluz (message) 827 posts, Busy bee

i’m too much of a control freak to delegate - i’ve done everything :/

5/26/11 @ 10:54 am (reply)

19.

Guest

ActuallyAshley

I can soooo relate to this! As I go through the wedding planning process, it’s really sweet, because people seem to be coming out of the woodwork, telling me they can help and always saying, ‘just let me know what I can do!’ Everytime someone says that to me, I thank them, of course, and tell them I’ll let them know, but in my head I’m secretly thinking, ‘no way! It would have to be a meanial and simple task like assembling some paper product (ie: invitations)… but nothing actually crafty! I’m waaaay too picky to give control of something like that to you!’

Horrible? Probably… but I can definitely relate with this post whole-heartedly!

5/26/11 @ 10:57 am (reply)

20.

Member

Charcole2011 (message) 298 posts, Helper bee

oh yeah…had to have a serious convo with FI about this a couple of weeks ago - like, when I actually trust you to delegate to, you need to ACCOMPLISH that task, please! ha. so glad there are other uber Type A, OCD brides out there… =)

@Miss Pony: 100% agree on “delegating” to professionals! love it =)

5/26/11 @ 11:05 am (reply)

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