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This past weekend I had a lovely little bridesmaid meeting with all the girls to start chatting about their looks for the big day.
Here are the options I was considering:
1. All wear the same exact dress.
Image via Style Me Pretty / Photos by Caroline Tran
2. All wear the same color/fabric of dress, but different styles.
Image via AAA Bridal Warehouse
3. All wear totally different styles of their choosing (with one common theme to make the look cohesive).
Photo by Todd Pellowe
Image via Green Wedding Shoes / Photo by Love Me Do Photography
Image via Offbeat Bride
We’re going with #3 for the High Wire Bridesmaids. (Could you tell by the unbalanced swarm of pictures for mismatched bridesmaids?) Sure, this will be the only time in my life that I have the opportunity to dress my best friends up like living, matching dolls, but that mentality made me feel a little…weird.
Plus, all of my bridesmaids have very distinct styles, and they know better than I do about what looks good on them and makes them comfortable. We’re all adults here, and I trust their style judgment. I also really like this idea because it allows for wiggle room if a particular bridesmaid is less well off financially; this way everyone can find something in her price range.
Finally, maybe (maybe?! please?!) they might be able to wear their dresses again another time, since they picked them out for themselves. You know, what every bride claims to say about the bridesmaids’ dresses they choose. But I really hope they are something they can wear again!
Aids to to put the look together
When I talked to one of my bridesmaids about letting them choose their own dresses, one asked if I would please, please, please send some guidelines to help, so that is what I am doing!
To keep the look cohesive, I’m going to send all the girls a color swatch to try to match (Holly from David’s Bridal), an ideal fabric choice (chiffon), and a length (knee). As long as it comes close to those criteria, I’m A-OK with a little wriggling away from the guidelines. (Maybe someone will find a really awesome floral-printed dress or something with a belt!) I’m excited to see what they find.
There are some great sites out there to help develop a cohesive bridesmaid style, and my favorite is The Dessy Group.
This website has a feature that pulls dresses from a variety of designers and lets you narrow down the options until you have a selection of dresses from different places that meet your criteria.
You can also design an inspiration board!
Screenshots via The Dessy Group
What did your bridesmaids wear?
As a bridesmaid, would you prefer to: 1) pick out your own dress, 2) buy whatever the bride wants so you don’t have to think about it, or 3) something else?
i only have two bridesmaids, but they’re picking their own dresses too. 
I want them to feel like themselves –the more they love their dress, the more beautiful they’ll feel, and the more beautiful we’ll all look!
I really don’t mind when the bride picks a dress, less work for me, but I love finding a good deal on something fabulous that I would definitely wear again, so I would love it if a bride let me pick the dress too.
Haha, wow this is the week of mismatched bridesmaids. What a good decision HW. 
I love that first photo of mismatched dresses, with all the neutral colors. *drool*
I think I’ll end up having my bridesmaids each get their own style of dress in a general color family. If it’s a normal, versatile color, they probably really CAN wear it again, since they can pick cute dresses that look more like party attire than prom attire. And it definitely helps if the dresses are shorter, because who really wears long formal gowns except to weddings and proms?
I didn’t mind matching dresses when I was a bridesmaid. My friend had a wedding near the Christmas holidays, so our dresses were cute knee-length things in a crimson-y color. Theoretically you can dress that up with jewelry and wear it to holiday fiestas in later years. But two things about it screamed “bridesmaid”: the material (taffeta - which in a more casual, flowy dress might not be so bridesmaid, but in a structured style with boning in the bodice I feel like it can’t be anything BUT bridesmaid) and the champagne sash and bow. At least they were inexpensive!
I have been thinking about going the mismatched route, and I really like your suggestion about giving the girls a color swatch to use as a guide. I’ll be going with David Bridal’s Sunbeam. Will they give them to you at the store if you ask?
I love the look of mis-matching dresses but I only have 2 and feel like it would just look like we couldn’t get the same dress for both of them. Plus they both loved the same style anyway.
I was in a wedding last year as a bridesmaid, and we all wore the same color DB dress, but the bride let us pick whatever style dress we wanted. I enjoyed being in control of the price/style, but for her sake, I think she should have told us all to get the same or at least close to the same length. Some had floor length, some knee, some over-knee, some tea length, and I thought we looked a little weird in the side-by-side pics.
I love it when brides think about their girls style too…which is why I went the route of convertible dresses. The fabric is the same, color is the same, but each girl will have the chance to wear it however they choose. They can even switch it up between the ceremony and reception if they wanted too. It allows each girl to be comfortable and still have a little bit of themselves in it Plus, they all loved the idea that they could wear the dresses again down the road.
i decided to do the same for my bridesmaids. they pick the dress style and i choose a fall color for it. i think it’ll look awesome that way. who wants to wear a dress they dont like in a color they dont look good in?? not me!
At first I loved the idea of mismatched maid dresses. I’m sure for all the same reasons that everyone else does… Then I began to notice that each time I looked at a photo with a bride and her mismatched maids, the bride was the absolute last person I looked at. Seriously, the last! I now think mismatched maids are seriously distracting. There have only been one or two cases where I actually thought the look worked. Usually it was when the maids all wore variations of the same color and the brides dress was a huge amazing ballgown. Does anyone else feel this way too???
I don’t think I’d mind being told what to wear (I’ve never been a bridesmaid). I put my two ladies in the same dress - for some reason I felt like with two it would look like one girl was in the ‘right’ dress and the other lost hers. I think for groups of 3 and above the mis-matched will would work though. It probably works for 2 too, but I’m just neurotic.
I would personally LOVE this idea if I were a bridesmaid. Can’t wait to see what your ladies come up with! While I gave my ladies this option too, they ended up all deciding to go with the same dress.
My bridesmaids are all wearing black dresses that are knee length. They have the freedom to pick the style and fabric. They all seem very excited about it and I love the idea of them being able to spend whatever is comfortable for them and be able to find a flattering dress. The best part is the dresses they are all picking are totally different but all have similar details
I am really hoping I get to be a BM sometime in the future and pull off the mismatched look
I’m thinking black for my wedding. I would choose the length and they shoose the style.
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Mrs. High Wire, Dallas Age and Occupation: 23, Legal Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Director of Communications Engagement Date: October 9, 2010 Wedding Date: September 2011 Venue: Clark Gardens About Me: My loves include yoga, anything spicy, our eccentric cat, our rambunctious dog, and Mr. High Wire, of course! Like the steadiness act of the tightrope walker, this gal is busy balancing life while planning a wedding to the man of her dreams. We’re hosting a laid-back, vintage-inspired, bird themed wedding with heavy doses of love, good eats (did someone say tacos and margaritas?), and endless Texas charm. Mr. High Wire and I are so happy to have you along for the walk across the tight rope.
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