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Weddingbee Blog
“Smile because it happened.”
Or at least that’s what Dr. Seuss tells you to do…or what Mr. Giraffe keeps telling me to do.
See, here’s the thing, Hive…In the interest of full disclosure, I’m going to be honest with you all. I feel conflicted about our wedding. I can look back and key into my feelings on that day and I remember how I felt: entirely blissful, glowing, sheer happiness. That’s the thing, I remember feeling that way, I remember telling Mama Giraffe that it was the best day of my life, I remember crying uncontrollably right after our ceremony (but before pictures—oops) because I was so overwhelmed with emotions and happiness.
I know that’s how I felt; I remember it, but I don’t feel that way anymore.
Mr. G and I had a long talk about this while we ate dinner our the beach during our honeymoon, but I’ll break it down for you guys.
It’s over.
The wedding is over and gone and I am so heartbroken about it.
Yes, I realize that this is ridiculous, and possibly crazy, but its true. Moving and my new-ish job have kept me really busy, which is good, but it wasn’t that long ago that I was busy with wedding stuff literally every weekend.
It’s never going to happen again.
I knew that this wedding was only a one day deal going into it, but I feel like I didn’t get to enjoy it enough, that it went too fast. Jetting off for our honeymoon a few hours after the reception was wonderful and kept me in a giant happiness bubble for a week, but now that bubble is gone. I don’t want to blog anymore because it makes me sad. Sure, I have other projects to share with you that didn’t make it to Weddingbee pre-wedding, but part of me keeps thinking “that’s all in the past now.” Mr. G looked at me like I was crazy when I told him that our 2.5 year engagement wasn’t long enough.
The worst part? The last 2 weeks before the wedding were so stressful that I just wanted the day to finally get here. I wish that I would’ve relaxed more and enjoyed the ride, rather than let the stress get to me.
I remember reading Weddingbee posts about post-wedding-depression and I didn’t think anything of it, but I’m telling you guys, it’s legit. As happy as I was on the day, now the thought of it is just bringing me down. How horrible is that?!
Luckily, finally moving into a home with Mr. G and starting our life together is a pretty big and exciting adventure, but I’m still dealing with letting go of our wedding. It was beautiful, and it was great, but I need to let it go. I need to smile because it happened, right?
Anybody else in the same boat? How are you dealing with it?
I hear ya.
I felt the same way. Even now (one year on- squeeee!) I get jealous of people who are getting engaged cause I want that time again!
I loved planning and all the stressful and awesome things that went with creating Hubs and my big day. I can say it was the BEST day ever- but that brings with it some sadness that it may be the best day of my whole life…
It does get easier… I still love to look at wedding blogs however, so that habit remains.
Hugs.
Oh, Mrs G - I’m sorry you’re feeling so conflicted. Maybe the spark will come back once you receive your pro pics back and can relive the day through your recaps? *big hugs*
I absolutely know what you’re feeling. I LOVE being married and I wouldn’t want to do the planning over again but everytime I think about our wedding, I get sad. Sad because I can’t relive it and I want to so bad. I want to be that blissfully happy again.
Not to say that I’m not happy but that day was PERFECT and I can’t ever have that feeling again. So yes, I completely and utterly understand. Even looking at pictures… they make me happy but there’s also a tinge of sadness. Partially because it’s the last time we saw my FIL alive (he dies 2 months later) and partially because it really was so amazing.
::hugs::
I am the same way. We only got married 3 1/2 weeks ago, but, I miss it so much. Everyone told me, “enjoy it while it lasts, because it goes by SO fast!!” And, there is nothing more true then that. It really went by so fast, and before I knew it, it was over. But, we have to look at the bright side of things! We are now married, and we got to share the best day of our lives (so far) with everyone we love and cherish!! Keep your chin up and just be thankful for the experience and memories! There will be more spectacular days in your future as a married couple! And, when you get your pics back, you will be so joyful again, and even see things you may have missed, but that the photographer captured!
i’m not even married yet and i’m worried about this! i’m notorious for being sad after trips, birthdays, christmas, you name it! i love BUSINESS and ATTENTION and all of the center of the spotlight and newness and unusualness of being engaged… and i know the wedding will be amazing, but i share a lot of your fears already. i’ll be starting grad school almost immediately after returning from our honeymoon, and i’m hoping that will be enough to keep me occupied. maybe you can plan a fun trip or something like that to look forward to? for me it’s all about the anticipation. so creating something to anticipate often helps me!
i agree with jeffandjen2011… seeing your pics will probably help a lot too.
good luck!
AAAWWW Mrs, Giraffem I think you are handling this well, I woke up the morning after my wedding (first marriage) and sobbed like someone had died, for 3 solid hours, I then spoke about my wedding for MONTHS afterward (I am sure my friends could not wait to get out of a room I was in) and then showed anyone who walked thru the door the wedding video (didn’t matter if they had been guests or not) seriously looking back I was so pitiful. I spent 18 months of my life planning like I was a general going into battle, I had 850 guests and it was a magical confection of pink organza and sparkle. I can look back now and laugh, but I remember being so let down after it was over. I think its ok to be a little sad (not prozac depressed like I was) and I think you are doing just fine. Hope your lives together are amazing and magical everyday!
Aw, G, I’m sorry you are going through this. I obviously can’t relate since I’m not married yet, but thank you for sharing. I think it’s something a lot of brides go through and hopefully this will help others feeling the same way.
Dont worry, I think every bride experiences this on some level. The good thing is that over time, the feelings become different. You are able to look back with a smile and with fondness instead of thinking of all the ways you could have enjoyed it more. Time to plan many more awesome things!
{{big hugs}} Even though I know it must’ve been hard to write this post, I’m so glad you did. Thanks for reminding us pre-wedding folk about the importance of holding onto the specialness of the planning process (even when the planning part sucks) because one day it will, of course, be over.
All that hard/fun work you did resulted in you having that “best day ever” feeling, which is what we all hope for. Hopefully those pro pics will breathe some life back into those happy wedding day memories.
Wedding Withdrawal… I’ve heard it from many of my friends. For some it lasts just a few weeks, other it took months. Those friends tell me I’m even more of a wedding freak than they were so I know I’m going to have some serious wedding cravings post September!! Hopefully when your pics come in you’ll get a little surge again and as they as ‘this too will pass’!
Pretty sure the cure for this is to have a baby. 
In all seriousness though, I totally expect that I’ll have PWD (post wedding depression). So I’m planning to have another project ready to start, such as decorating the house, or a wedding scrapbook or something.
Oh man, I hope I don’t land in this boat. It sounds so bittersweet and depressing. Remember the gooood times! 
I have heard a lot about this “post-wedding depression” from my friends who are married (which is basically ALL of them). I am sure that I will feel a little pang sadness and that feeling of “what do I do with all my free time now?”. However, I am also fairly confident that I will be able to push that feeling aside with all of the new “projects” that my hubby to be are already planning (buying a house, going back to college to finish my degree, trading in the small sporty car for a “baby friendly” car, etc). We find ourselves constantly saying “when the weding is over, we are going to do this…or buy that”…or “it will be nice when we can start spending our money on stuff that isnt for the wedding” haha. I am sure I will be sad in ways, but there’s a lot more wonderful things to look forward to even after our wedding is just a wonderful memory.
Prior to the wedding, I thought these “post-wedding” posts were crazy. Now I know! I keep trying to convince Mr Georgia to TTC so I have something else to think about:)
I feel you Mrs. G. I’ve been taking steps here to make sure I don’t sink into a hole myself. Instead of focusing on the wedding, I’ve been focusing on the things I can do now that I couldn’t before. Mr. Lox and I have been enjoying a little shopping spree now that we’re not saving up anymore. And we go out to dinner more often and see friends more because we have the time to. Plus I still have a ton of post-wedding projects to undertake even though I haven’t started on them yet. I think distraction is the key here. And honestly, this too shall pass.
I have a feeling this will happen to me. I’m so consumed by wedding stuff now…I almost don’t ever want the day to come so I can keep anticipating and planning for it in perpetuity. It’s an addiction…and when the drug is gone…withdrawals! I’m not there yet…so I have no words of wisdom…good luck!
I am in the same boat and it makes it worse because all my husband wants to do is talk about the wedding (which I know is VERY sweet)…I just want the moments back. Sending good thoughts your way!
Just remember that while your wedding was an absolutely fantastic day, it was in fact one day, and you have many fantastic days to look forward to in the future! Your wedding is not limited to be the best day of your life, and you should let yourself enjoy the wonderful days life gives you ahead
I too am fearful of this post-wedding depression condition. I think the thing to ask yourself is, “what do I miss most about the wedding?”
Was it the planning? Plan another party!
Was it being the center of attention? Star in a show!
Was it obsessing over details? Decorate your home!
What I mean to say is, there are supplements for these tendencies. I mean, even drug addicts are given something to assist them in coming down off their addictions. When you find what it was you miss most about the process of getting married, you can find activities or hobbies that can stand in for the uber-expensive and time-consuming act of getting married - like parties, decorating, a new career path, heck - even a puppy.
And if what you loved most about getting married was Mr. Giraffe, well count your lucky stars - because you have him now and forever - and that’s a feeling you can enjoy every darn day.
Good luck!
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Mrs. Giraffe, Chicago Age and Occupation: 23, Graphic Designer Fiance's Age and Occupation: 24, Music Student Teacher Engagement Date: October 23, 2008 Wedding Date: May 2011 Venue: Trinity Lutheran Church & Idlewild Country Club About Me: Coming from the suburbs of the Windy City, you'll often find me with my foot in my mouth while laughing for no reason or telling bad knock knock jokes. I've been crafty for as long as I can remember, and will DIY something twice over before I have someone do it for me. I'm a semi-awkward, typeface obsessed, design junkie and have been know to break out my dance moves for no reason as well as try my best to be ridiculous at all times. My love of pop culture, wordplay, and graph paper almost rivals my love of Mr. Giraffe (who is just the bee's knees). After a 2.5 year engagement, we're planning a modern-in-disguise traditional wedding, and cannot wait!
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