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Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.
About Mrs. Trail Mix

Remember when I mentioned that the first several months of marriage were a bit, um, doubt-plagued? Well, it’s now officially one year to the day from our wedding and here’s my follow-up advice: It gets better. Hang in there. Ride out the wave, if you will. I’m so happy to report that after writing that post, the cloud of despair I’d been trying to ignore lifted and suddenly. I no longer doubted my decision to get married. I felt like, maybe it all could *and would* get better.

And then, amazingly,…it did. Things got good. So good I sometimes can’t believe I am lucky enough to be living this life and have to cross my fingers and my toes in order to prevent from jinxing it all.

It’s true what they say, the harder you fall, the higher you bounce. It seems that, for me, the hard moments have made the good ones that much better. Perhaps I would not appreciate what I have now if I hadn’t experienced the bruises of a bumpy road beforehand.

It’s bizarre that it’s been one year since our wedding. It feels like forever ago yet it’s probably a rare day where I don’t reminisce, just a little. The wedding was, and I suspect will remain, one of the best days of my life.

The Hard is What Makes It Great :  wedding albany anniversary 113 1

Closed Circle Photography

Yet, I don’t miss being knee-deep in vendor discussions and stressing over table assignments.

I don’t miss the stomachache-inducing anxiety of possible mishaps or the frustration over craft projects gone wrong. (So many. SO so many gone horribly wrong.)

I do, however, miss the anticipation of what was to come, of looking forward to this sure-to-be-wonderful event and of all the attention and love that comes with it.

Ah well, guess I’ll just have to get myself knocked up sometime soon so I have something to look forward to, right? (Calm down, I’m not preggo, just making a bad, joking analogy. Also, “analogy” has the word “anal” in it. That’s funny.) I also miss crafting, which, given my previous statement, is just so damn ironic.

Anyways, I guess what I’m trying to say is that we weathered the storm. We bounced back, higher and stronger and together.

I frequently remind myself of the advice that Jimmy Dugan gives to Dottie Henson in (thebestmoviever!) A League of Their Own. Even though he’s technically talking about baseball, I think it’s dead-on for marriage as well…

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, everybody would do it. The hard…is what makes it great.”

The Hard is What Makes It Great :  wedding albany anniversary 24 2

Closed Circle Photography

Happy anniversary, love of my life! You have all of my love for all of my life.

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23 Responses to “The Hard is What Makes It Great”

1 2 

1.
Bee Icon
Bee
Miss Candy Apple (message)  1,465 posts, Bumble bee

Aww, Trail Mix! :) Happy Anniversary.

 
2.
Mrs. Meerkat
Bee
Mrs. Meerkat (message)  3,216 posts, Sugar bee

Awww! Happy anniversary T! I lobe the league of their own analogy, it fit just perfect. :)

 
3.
misskarianne
Member
misskarianne (message)  690 posts, Busy bee

I love that movie.

 
4.
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Bee
Miss Pony (message)  4,175 posts, Honey bee

Happy Anniversary TM! What a great post, so glad to hear things are better than ever for your two. And I love love love A League of Their Own. The quote made me smile :)

 
5.
bRooklynRocks
Member
bRooklynRocks (message)  3,767 posts, Honey bee

Wow, that’s such a great post. Happy Anniversary. And whatchutalkin’bout? I used your tutorial for my drink flags and I’m very proud of them :)

 
6.
Mrs. Elephant
Bee
Mrs. Elephant (message)  6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

Happy Anniversary Trail Mix! I’m so glad to hear that things are better with you two!

 
7.
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Member
miss.qwerty (message)  895 posts, Busy bee

Happy Anniversary! Glad to hear that things are going well.

 
8.
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Bee
Miss Prairie Dog (message)  400 posts, Helper bee

your doubt post is still one of the bravest things i’ve ever read on the internet. kudos to the trail mixes and cheers to many more years.

 
9.
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Bee
Miss Marmalade (message)  191 posts, Blushing bee

Happy anniversary!!! Here’s to bouncing back!

 
10.
KCheer
Member
KCheer (message)  370 posts, Helper bee

Happy Anniversary to you and the Mr.! I miss you around the hive!

 
11.
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Bee
Mrs. Hyena (message)  1,882 posts, Buzzing bee

Happy anniversary Trail Mixes! I’m glad things are better with ya’ll!

 
12.
MCC919
Member
MCC919 (message)  506 posts, Busy bee

Happy anniversary mrs. tm!!! I just went back and re-read your doubt post…. even more helpful for me now that i’m married. Thank you again for sharing

 
13.
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Guest
KMA

Happy A! So glad you discussed this - I am 2 mos post wedding and in a slump and having some fights with the husband. Nothing serious but still trying to sort out married life. I’m hoping it gets easier! Guess it’s just a lot of work…

 
14.
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Bee
Miss Sparkler (message)  423 posts, Helper bee

I’m so happy to see this post :) You two are such an inspiring couple… I love that you were brave enough to admit your struggles, and that now you can show off the result of stickin’ with it! Love this.

 
15.
stephbonthego
Member
stephbonthego (message)  687 posts, Busy bee

@KMA: Remember, you may not always like him but you’ll always love him ;D

 
16.
Mrs. Tartlet
Bee
Mrs. Tartlet (message)  3,207 posts, Sugar bee

Happy anniversary, Trail Mix! Here’s to things getting better and better. :)

 
17.
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Guest
Aaron Greenwood

Happy Anniversary! & let me tell you that it does get better. Blissful. Giddy. All of it. & it will also get worse too. Especially when you have kids…always things to iron out. My husband & I hit 9 years next week & things are so wonderful that I almost cant believe it. I will tell you that as the years go by & you settle into your niche as a couple & learn each other’s strengths, weaknesses, annoyances…etc…you learn to live insanely content and happy.

I have to share with you two quotes that have literally stayed with me through these 9 years. Cliche? maybe. But when you are in a hole & unsure how to save everything, simple words can be so meaningful.

“I believe that I love you more than yesterday but that belief grows with every single day.” - Goethe

“a good marriage is that in which each appoints the other, guardian of his solitude.”

Enjoy your day.

 
18.
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Member
Miss Twigs (message)  126 posts, Blushing bee

I missed the “Doubt” post the first time around but just now read it. I’m book-marking them both so I can reread them if/when we are in the same boat and I need a crash course in hope.

 
19.
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Guest
Kate

Trailmix, so wonderful to see an update from you, and so happy to see you so happy! I never commented on your Doubt post at the time, (you already had dozens and dozens of comments by then,) but if I had, I would have said what some others did - that what you went through is totally normal. And really, it would have been unusual not to. I went through it too, but I was one of the ones who went through it in my engagement. I think any modern day woman will have doubts, no matter how much we love our husbands / fiances. That’s how Big marriage is, and how much we recognize it. You were just one of the ones who went through it after your wedding. I was sure at the time that you would end up exactly where you are - as happy and in love as you are now.
And that baseball quote - I love it. It will stick with me always. :-)
Congrats on one year, and best wishes for many more glorious ones!

 
20.
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Bee
Miss Snow Cone (message)  1,026 posts, Bumble bee

what good words to live by. glad to hear your bounces are extra-high :)

 
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Mrs. Trail Mix
Mrs. Trail Mix

Mrs. Trail Mix, New York Age and Occupation: 26, PE Teacher Fiance's Age and Occupation: 27, MBA Student Engagement Date: March 2009 Wedding Date: June 2010 Venue: Tannery Pond at the Darrow School About Me: I'm a country girl who somehow found herself living in the Big Apple and loving every minute of it. I'm planning a rustic, country-chic wedding in my hometown in upstate New York and it's going to be a Party with a capital P. White wine, flea markets and running keep me happy and my friends, family and fiance are my world. I'm a little bit crafty, a little bit crazy but mostly just crazy in love.

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