Too Few, Too Many, or Just Right?

Too Few, Too Many, or Just Right?

June 16th, 2011 @ 6:03 pm by Ms. Ferris Wheel
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I’m talking guests here, people. Although there are about 125 people on our invite list, we’ve been guesstimating that only about 70 adults and 5 children would actually attend—and that’s the number of people we’ve budgeted for. Now, I come from the ’more is more’ camp when it comes to party attendees. In fact, I’ve been known to invite way more people into my home than could possibly fit comfortably, and just let them work it out for themselves with the help of everyone’s good friend, vodka. So I’ve been secretly hoping that we’d have more, even *way* more, wedding guests than we’ve budgeted for. In my mind, that makes for a better party, even though it also makes for a sadder wallet.

image via Ronski Polski

My worst worst worst fear is that only, say, 50 people show up to the wedding and then we’ve spent beaucoup money on a party that will fizzle early because there aren’t enough people there to keep up the energy. (Why it’s not my worst fear that 125 people show up and then we’re $10,000 over budget, I have no idea.)

image via Savage Chickens

Our social circle is much more on the small and intimate side, plus a smaller guest list is all we can afford. Furthermore, we’ve chosen a ceremony space that can only seat about 30-40, with standing room only for everyone else. With those calculations, it would stand to reason that 50 guests is too few, 125 is too many, and 75 is just right. But I can’t shake the feeling that a few more than 75 guests would be just right-er.

So imagine my pleasant surprise as I’ve heard whisperings that some guests may be attending who we hadn’t thought would be able to come. And again when we considered adding a few extra invites for some people who we’ve grown closer to since we initially made our guest list at the end of 2010. It’s impossible to predict those final RSVP numbers given that many of our guests would be coming in from out of town, but it looks like I might get at least a tiny bit of my ’more is more’ wish after all.

How did you decide your “just right” number of wedding guests? And did you feel the pull to let that number creep upward?

Tags: guest-list, san-francisco |

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19 Responses to “Too Few, Too Many, or Just Right?”

Member

Season (message) 45 posts, Newbee

I hear ya. I am absolutely terrified that our wedding will be too small and will fizzle out early like our poor housewarming party (we had 3 huge things of Sangria left). I’m worried that much like said party we will put sooo much effort into the wedding and then the element we can’t control will end up ruining it. Then we will be left with all this extra stuff and a sad little dance floor.

I’m crossing my fingers and toes that this time is different. Even if it isn’t, my fiance pointed out that we (more often than not) prefer it to be just the two of us anyway. As long as we’re there and someone to perform the ceremony, nothing else matters. You get one day and it should be the best day ever no matter what happens. We decided that even if we’re dancing alone for the last two hours of the night, we will stay til the end and love the heck out of our day.

Good luck!

http://acoloradocourtship.blogspot.com

6/16/11 @ 6:30 pm (reply)

Member

bRooklynRocks (message) 3,767 posts, Honey bee

I’m on the other side of the spectrum Ms. FW. I wanted 125. It’s almost 200 now and *might* get bigger. Parents. Whatchugonnado

6/16/11 @ 6:57 pm (reply)

Guest

candykiss

I have found that when it comes to weddings, more people will make special arrangements to attend than you would think. My mother has some cousins that live across the country from us who we haven’t seen in years, and they saw the wedding as a opportunity to catch up with the family. You may need to prepare yourself for the max! Knowing that these folks and others in similar sitations will likely make a valiant effort to show up, I am inviting 180 or so guests and expecting 150.

6/16/11 @ 6:58 pm (reply)

Member

amberpdidit (message) 51 posts, Worker bee

I am beyond shocked at how many people are pulling out the stops to come. I’m thrilled and touched that they want to be there but I am freaking out a bit about budget. We calculated 60 people in our initial budget…we’re currently at 90.

6/16/11 @ 7:19 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,175 posts, Honey bee

After I made 140 napkins I declared that we would have no more than 140 people. We’ll see what happens in the end, but I think it will work out to be the perfect number for both of us.

6/16/11 @ 7:40 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cannon (message) 457 posts, Helper bee

Well, if you need Mr. Cannon and I to fly out and attend your wedding, we do like San Francisco and weddings.

6/16/11 @ 10:34 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Macarons (message) 235 posts, Helper bee

You’re not alone in the too many/too little debate. My opinion changes on a weekly basis but right now I’m hoping for a more intimate affair.

6/16/11 @ 11:21 pm (reply)

Member

Armywife89 (message) 36 posts, Newbee

my original was 50. then I got my dress and my parents got involved. its is now looking like more than 100 pple and we’re at the 2 week mark and still pple are rsvp-ing and saying yes to coming. Where do the other 50 pple come from……my parents list of invitees!!! But hey, since they are paying, they can keep inviting. Good thing I’m trying to keep costs down elsewhere in the wedding.

6/17/11 @ 1:00 am (reply)

Bee

Miss Seal (message) 1,179 posts, Bumble bee

I totally feel you, FW! Though I really never fear that there will be “too few”, my “goal” number of attendees changes daily. Some days I maintain the “more the merrier” mindset and other days I feel greedy and just want to save money. Sigh. I guess it’s out of my hands anyhow!

6/17/11 @ 2:23 am (reply)

10.

Bee

Mrs. Jaguar (message) 4,656 posts, Honey bee

We worried about guest numbers for ages. It turned out in the middle - we had 80 as our minumum, 120 as our maximum, and ended up at 95. (How random is that?)

Actually though, some guests left after the meals and the speeches, so the actual number at the end of the night was probably only about 60-70?

Doesn’t matter what the numbers are though, remember they’re all there to celebrate with you guys!

6/17/11 @ 2:33 am (reply)

11.

Member

lanmeng (message) 15 posts, Newbee

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6/17/11 @ 4:49 am (reply)

12.

Bee

Miss Marmalade (message) 191 posts, Blushing bee

We picked a dream number, 80. Then we realized that it was just a dream and picked 125. And our venue has a cap of 130. Thank goodness for that cap! And if you need a last minute guest, let me know! The Marmalades know how to party

6/17/11 @ 10:34 am (reply)

13.

Member

Sweetie Pie (message) 10 posts, Newbee

I’m totally like you! Really, our affordable number is around 125. Somehow our invite list has creeped toward 200. As much as I know less is better in terms of money, I secretly hope we get more than we expect. I want a fun dance/drink celebration until midnight, not me on the dance floor by myself at 10 p.m. sad because everyone trickled out.

6/17/11 @ 11:25 am (reply)

14.

Member

mak418 (message) 693 posts, Busy bee

It’s funny… we had 55 people total (including us), and seriously, the dance floor was packed all night. Hope you get all the people you want! I’m sure they’ll have great time.

6/17/11 @ 12:33 pm (reply)

15.

Member

stephbonthego (message) 687 posts, Busy bee

We were at a solid 75 six months ago and are now edging up toward 95 *yippieeee*

6/17/11 @ 1:20 pm (reply)

16.

Member

weddingstars2012 (message) 430 posts, Helper bee

Yeah this makes me nervous. I’m budgeting for 100, hoping it may actually be a little less, but won’t be mad if it hits 110, because as long as there’s not more than 10 over the “final count”, we won’t have to pay extra. But with most of my people coming from out of town, and then me starting medical school in August, obviously expecting to make some close friends there, it’s been so hard to come up with a “final” guest list and guesstimate how many people will actually show up! And then I had this HORRIFYING dream that like 10 people showed up to my wedding. Sigh.

6/17/11 @ 2:07 pm (reply)

17.

Bee

Ms. Ferris Wheel (message) 345 posts, Helper bee

@Season: Yep, I totally get it. Hopefully we’ll both be pleasantly surprised by both the turn-out and people’s party-happy attitudies.

@bRooklynRocks: Aww… see how many ways exist to be worried about the guest list?! Craziness…

@candykiss: Yeah, I think you’re right. It’s nice that people want to celebrate with us, isn’t it? Even if it makes our guest list hard to estimate.

@amberpdidit: So nice to be loved, even when it complicates the budget a little.

@Miss Cannon: Hmm… I might just take you up on that!

@Armywife89: Wow - you doubled your attendance! Glad to hear you’ve been able to just roll with it.

@Miss Seal: Yeah, isn’t that the kicker? That at a certain point there’s not much you can do about it. (But I not-so-secretly think ‘more the merrier’ is almost always the right answer!)

@Mrs. Jaguar: Oooh, that’s good to know about hitting your middle and people leaving after dinner. And you’re right, people being there to celebrate with us is definitely the most important part.

@Miss Marmalade: Based on how you’re trending, I’m glad you have that cap, too! And I might just take you up on your offer!

@Sweetie Pie: Ditto. Just ditto.

@stephbonthego: Yay! I know just how you feel!

@weddingstars2012: You don’t have to pay extra for up to 10 over your head count?!?! OMG! I’ve never heard of such a thing! You’re so lucky! And I’ve totally had that dream, too. So sad…

6/19/11 @ 2:42 pm (reply)

18.

Member

weddingstars2012 (message) 430 posts, Helper bee

Yeah it’s going to be hors d’oeuvres style. I actually read in a book that gives tips on saving money for a wedding and it said if the food is buffet style, then you can actually give the caterer a final head count of a little less than the number that RSVP’d just because they always make a little extra food anyway, and then most of the time, there are guests who RSVP and don’t even end up showing up.

6/19/11 @ 3:22 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Ms. Ferris Wheel (message) 345 posts, Helper bee

@weddingstars2012: Interesting. Buffet style was significantly more expensive at our venue than was a plated dinner, which surprised me. But given what you’re saying, it makes sense to underestimate your guest list a little to save yourself some bucks!

6/19/11 @ 3:44 pm (reply)