Weddingbee Blog

As a former “women’s studies” buff in college, I love a good blast from the past to see the change and progression of woman—as a wife, single gal, mother, and employee—throughout history. I find it completely fascinating to see the roles of women change, even in the fictional world of television, such as Mama Ingalls, Donna Reed, Mrs. Arnold, Lynette Scavo.

But sometimes it is almost shocking to see how not a lot of things really have changed over time.

A couple months ago Mrs. Flamingo wrote about a 1930s “Marital Rating Scale,” which had me hysterical and immediately forwarding it on to Mr. Sweet Cream. I loved how a Mrs. would get “demerits” for “slow in coming to bed,” “wearing red nail polish,” and “puts her cold feet on husband at night to warm them.” Mr. Sweet’s favorite “merit” for the Mr. on the husband’s chart was “gives wife ample allowance or turns pay check over to her.”

I thought it was worth sharing some other marital rib-ticklers or shockers from days long ago…

A 1955 article in Housekeeping Monthly gives some wonderful tips for the wife. I can’t believe that it says what he has to say is more important and can’t imagine this Mrs. in pearls and heels running around getting a fire ready for her hubby! Thank goodness I wasn’t a wife in those days—I would certainly complain if Mr. Sweet Cream didn’t come home for dinner or stayed out all night long without letting me know. I would be worried!!

Image via Retro Housewife

Image via Retro Housewife

While I would love to be a wife whose priority was her husband and making a mean pineapple upside-down cake, maybe I’m better off as a bride of the 21st century.

Published decades earlier, these 1930s guides to marriage titled “How to be a Good Wife” and “How to be a Good Husband” give some surprisingly wise and modern thoughts:

• Don’t pose as a weak little thing that cannot go on a journey unless your husband buys your ticket and puts you on the train. Wives who do this got out-of date while Queen Victoria was alive. And a woman who still persists in being femininely frail has few admirers, to-day. Of course, if a wife asks her husband to come and see her off because she enjoys his company, that’s quite another thing.
• Don’t overlook the fact that the average husband likes being made a fuss of. If you do it honestly and don’t gush about it, there is nothing he won’t do for you. Of course, it has got to be genuine.
• Don’t forget that very true remark that while face powder may catch a man, baking power is the stuff to hold him.
• Don’t be one of those wives who demand that their husbands do this or that for them. No man worthy of the name will be “bossed.” On the other hand, don’t be a tame kitten or a doormat, for husbands look down on spineless women. Steer a middle course and your husband will appreciate your wisdom.

Image via The University of Chicago Press Books

Some great advice in the husband’s guide includes:

• Don’t be so absorbed in making a living that you have no time to make a life.
• Do take care not to be led into expenses that you cannot afford in order to keep up appearance. The attempt to do this is only too often accompanied by vulgarity and disastrous consequences.
• Do take the utmost care always to honour your wife in the presence of children. If they hear you constantly snapping her up or contradicting her, the inevitable result will be that before long they will lose their respect for her and you.

Tips for the future hubby are practical, fair, and more modern for the partnership of marriage than those of the booming 1950s! / Images via Getting Personal

So it just proves that throughout time—whether Mama Ingalls or on the ladies on Wisteria Lane—wives are always looking for some good advice…or maybe it’s the authors that just feel like giving it.

Either way—

What is the best advice that you have received as a newlywed that you think is worthy of a page in a book your grandkids could look back on? What “wifely” advice are you so happy you received?