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“How did you know he was the one?”
I got asked this question at happy hour with some girlfriends. So how did I know? Well there’s two different stories to tell.
The Practical Story
For the most part, our relationship has flowed very naturally from one step to the next. We dated for a while and then figured we’d give “exclusively dating” a try.
Personal photo, shortly after we became “official”
After being in a committed relationship, we decided to test out the waters and rent an apartment together. Once we had been living together for a year, we started seriously considering the quest for the perfect engagement ring. Each step made sense for us and felt like the right time, so we went for it, together. There wasn’t one particular moment during our relationship where I just knew. But perhaps there’s a reason for that. Perhaps it had already happened…
The Other Story
I haven’t ever really written about how we first met. We met at a party in college—no big deal, nothing to really share there. But really, something important happened that night that I can’t pretend was just some kind of weird feeling or something to be written off and forgotten about.
My roommates and I had been hanging out at this party for a few hours and were ready to leave for the night. We were all gathering up our belongings to head out when a couple of guys walked in through the door. And one of them was seriously grabbing my attention. Physically, I was attracted to him, but it felt really different than usual when I saw a cute guy.
I told my roommates I wasn’t ready to leave and that I had to start up a conversation with him. I’m not usually the type to be overly forward, but there was some kind of energy or force driving me to talk to him and do everything I could to get him to notice me. And notice, he did.
You guys, just writing about this is giving me that same kind of feeling again (chills, heart pounding). This can’t be some random coincidence, right?
So maybe there wasn’t a time during our relationship where I suddenly knew he was the one for me, but maybe it is because I already knew, from the very first time I saw him.
Did you have a definitive moment in your relationship? I want to hear all about it.
That story almost kind of reminds of the feeling I had. I always dreamt of that “I knew since the moment I laid eyes on him” feeling, but I think it was definitely more subconscious. I thought he was very cute the first time I saw him, but we didn’t interact much until the next day. He was visiting my neighbor. But once we started talking, we just never stopped. He visited me every weekend even though he lived 2 hours away. The interesting part of this story was I was still getting over an ex. Not even getting over, but thinking something was still going to come of it. So me and this new guy definitely were not official for a good while. The thing was, was with any other normal guy, I would’ve just said forget it. I’m not ready so there’s no point in talking. But there was just something about this new guy that didn’t let me turn him away, even though I was nowhere near emotionally ready to move on. It was just weird.
My story is about the same…My fiance and I knew each other in high school but didn’t date. 6 years later we ran into each other at the bar. I was on the dance floor and he walked in with this friends and I walked right up to him and started the chit chat. I am not usually like that at all. But there was something there. now 6 years since that night of running into each other again we are getting married. Sometimes you just know!!
My best friend was the first of my college and high school friends to get married. At the time of her wedding I was in a pretty volatile relationship that consisted of huge highs and sudden break ups. At her wedding the grooms mother gave a toast in which she recalled a story of her son asking her when he was a child ” Mom, how will I know when its the girl I’m suppose to marry?”, to which she responded “because when you meet you will think to yourself ‘what the heck was I thinking about all those other girls’” I remember this really struck me and consequently I broke up with my then boyfriend, this time for good.
Six years later when I started dating my now fiancee’ I remember within a month of dating him thinking “I didn’t know it could be this good, and everything before him seems crazy for even trying to make it work”. Once I had that thought I knew that this was it, this was what it was suppose to feel like. In six weeks we we’ll be married and I’m so happy I waited and didn’t settle for anything less than him.
our first date lasted for three days, our connection was so instant and so strong! it started friday and ended sunday. I know, what a hussy, right? whatever, I’m not ashamed 
anyway, the point of this story is what happened in the middle of that first weekend together. saturday afternoon, I was on the bus going home to get a change of clothes. a guy sitting next to me started to chat me up and asked me where I was coming from. (something weird about that: nobody hits on me on busses, not ever. I must have been positively glowing that day.) anyway, I wanted him to not hit on me anymore so I told him a white lie to get him to stop: “I’m on my way home from my boyfriend’s house.” but the second I said it, I knew it was true. I already knew my date was my boyfriend. I had a really good feeling about him from day one….. and I was right!
I know that by “the one”, you mean husband. what I’m saying is that on day two I knew this guy was already my boyfriend, and then after that, with every step we took, it always seemed to make perfect sense. I think I always knew he was the one!
after our first date, i came home and my housemates asked me how the date was. my answer, without even thinking, was “I think I’m going to marry him”. it was never a question for either of us, it was a given that that’s where we would end up.
I don’t think there was a moment I knew, but looking back, I certainly remember very vividly my first few encounters with Mr. P, whereas I don’t remember other people I met at the same time and we didn’t start dating until 5 months later. For me, I know there are things bigger than me I can’t or wasn’t supposed to understand and maybe that’s one of them.
Well its good that really people can share their stories here. I love how you allow your relationship to grow. http://rafeeq.doomby.com/liens.html This is really how relationship should be.
yes! i so had that feeling! that nervous what the heck am i doing but it sure feels right feeling. i meet my guy in a special high school program. no one really gave him a chance to shine so he hid his sparkle. he wasent one to let anyone in and got in trouble a lot and said things that you just shook your head at….but one day i found his sparkle! he made a comment in class, during a discussion, that everyone was against(mostly cause what he said came out wrong) but in a way i knew what he was saying and agreed. he turned and smiled and there it was…his sparkle! i wanted to uncover it more and more like it was an adventure in an uncharted dark forest everyone left alone. i was nervous to get involved though…he still had a hard shell to break. so i invited him to prom pretty much last minute cause of all the butterflies in my stomach and the battle in my head that said “dont bother” and then “but something big is coming”. so we went to prom and at one point i was in the bathroom with my best friend and for 10 mins i just kept saying to her “i dont know what it is but i think hes the one”. i never said that about anyone before or after that. i thought about marrying other bfs (before and after that) but never have i come out and said “hes the one”. so we dated about a year and parted ways for 5 years. we then reconnected like we never parted and that was it, not even a year after reconnecting we got engaged! im so happy to be with my guy! he is the best…hes “the one”!
Well, I also had this sort of feeling toward my ex-boyfriend. We knew we were the one for each other since we always had the perfect chemistry. People believed, we were perfect for each other, but it still didn’t work out because of some circumstances. I guess, life always have some ways to mess true love. Hopefully, one day we could meet each other again and all the pain we caused each other won’t be there anymore.
For me, when we first started dating I never in a million years would even think he would be my last and only. In the beginning we just had so much fun being with each other…He was different than any one I had ever been with, and apperently I was different than any on he’d ever been with too. I think the moment I realized he’s truly the one was when I realized how incredibly well he got along with my family. I went on an out of state business trip and he still came over my house to hang out with my parents! It was then that I was blown away! He does everything for his and my family too. He’s the most giving and thoughtful person I know. I love him to no end and can’t wait to be his bride.
Before I met my fiance I’d asked practically everyone I knew who was married “how did you know he/she was the one?” Frustratingly, they ALL told me that they “just knew.” I thought that was a totally dumb answer until I met my fiance. There’s never been anything that made me think “WHOA he’s the one” but from our first couple dates this relationship just felt different than all of the ones before. There was just something better about it, about him, about me with him…I just knew…
Reminds me of my relationships. I don’t even remember talking to SO the first time we met, but we both remember that day. We met in the park on our college campus the first week of our freshman orientation. I was sitting on a bench talking to some people, and he came over with a group of people and sat on the ground, and the whole group was just chatting getting to know each other. He caught my attention.
Although nothing happened with our relationship for two years because I was dating someone else at the time, but as soon as we had broken up, SO sent me a message on Facebook and we started hanging out again. 4 1/2 years letter we’re still together (although not engaged yet).
Same here! I started a new job and a guy walked in who also worked there and clocked in next to where I was training. He looked at me and was said “Hey, a new girl!” and from that moment on I had a serious crush…I think it was love at first sight…like you said I was never forward about a guy, but I HAD to know more about this guy, he was SO hot and just perfect in my eyes. I went home that very day and told my mom and my best friend I have a crush with this mystery guy I just met at work and for the next week I kept looking for him to come in to work and then he did and he came right over to me and we clicked right off the bat! And the rest is history…isn’t it amazing when you find your soulmate? I hope everyone experiences the feeling of just knowing. We are getting married in one month and I will be running down the aisle to say I do! I can’t wait! Thanks for sharing your story I love reading it!
I definitely have flashes of moments where I knew something was special about Mr. T, but there was a *lot* of luck involved in us getting together (and staying together)!
The moment I knew he was the one was only a few months after dating. My Uncle had complications resulting from surgery and we were told he wouldn’t make it. Mr. S stayed the 3 days at the hospital with me and my whole family. (There are a lot of us). He never complained once, he was very helpful and made sure everyone had everything they needed. He was so supportive and strong and caring. I just knew then that (along with everthing else I loved about him) he was the one.
I was taken to his house by mutual friends for pheasant hunting. I saw him and then had this funny feeling in the pit of my stomach. He was very shy and didn’t talk to me for a few days. After he got over that, we stared seeing each other a lot. After only a MONTH of dating, I went home for the school break. After being away from him for 2 weeks, he asked if he could drive the 5 hours to see me and meet my parents! This shy guy took the initiative and he’s the first person I’ve known who made my dad speechless. I had wanted to go back to school early to see him. My dad said that if I wanted to see the guy, he could come here. My dad didn’t have much to say when my guy offered (without any word from me) to visit. I knew right then on the phone when he offered that it was real. He wanted to meet my parents after only a month of knowing each other!
@janie-janie: We did the same thing…it works!
I up and quit my job one day and decided to move 1500km away from everyone and everything I knew and loved to have my own adventure, and to get out of the rut I felt my life was in. A few months after I moved I met my fiancee. We were dating around 2 months when I had my “Ah Hah!” moment:
I suddenly (without thinking) blurted over coffee that I’d love for him to come home with me in the summer to meet my folks.
For anyone else this might not have been such a big deal, but I had NEVER ONCE brought a boyfriend home to meet my parents. And whenever they asked why I hadn’t, I’d told them that there was no point unless I knew he was the one. My exact words to them were, “the guy I bring home will be the guy I marry”.
It was at that moment, when I slipped the invitation home into the conversation that I realized that this really was serious, and he was what I’d been waiting for. We moved in together a month later and we’ll be married in September of 2012 - five years after our first date.
I was actually dating a different guy when I met my FI. We had an instant connection, and have been inseparable ever since, almost 5 years ago. We both felt the instant connection. Apparently it was meant to be; on the first night that we met, his mom said to him, in front of me, “She’s going to be your wife!” :0 How crazy is that??
I freaked out when I saw you have that “Virgin Time Square”shirt too, lol. I just never thought I’d see another person with that
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Mrs. High Wire, Dallas Age and Occupation: 23, Legal Assistant Fiance's Age and Occupation: 25, Director of Communications Engagement Date: October 9, 2010 Wedding Date: September 2011 Venue: Clark Gardens About Me: My loves include yoga, anything spicy, our eccentric cat, our rambunctious dog, and Mr. High Wire, of course! Like the steadiness act of the tightrope walker, this gal is busy balancing life while planning a wedding to the man of her dreams. We’re hosting a laid-back, vintage-inspired, bird themed wedding with heavy doses of love, good eats (did someone say tacos and margaritas?), and endless Texas charm. Mr. High Wire and I are so happy to have you along for the walk across the tight rope.
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