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Now that you know the story of Bombshell, I can tell you the story of my guilt with Bridesmaid E. (I’m sorry, I cannot use the abbreviation BM. It instantly makes me think of an episode of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood where he discusses potty training. BM = bowel movement in my mind forever thanks to Mr. Rogers, and I can’t refer to my bridesmaids that way! So, that’s the reasoning behind my bestowing them with nicknames.) Bridesmaid E (AKA Pistol) is my other sister. She is eleven years younger than me and still in high school. With our substantial age gap, I have a weird hybrid sisterly and motherly bond with her. I love her to death and think she’s awesome. As she’s gotten older, we’ve become better friends, and I love hanging out with her. Obviously, she is going to be an awesome bridesmaid.
Pistol and me back in her dorky braces days
So, the guilt comes into play here when I consider the fact that Bombshell is my maid of honor, and I will be her matron of honor, leaving Pistol not being the maid of honor for either of her sisters. I don’t know if she really cares, but I do feel bad about it. I know that in the grand scheme of life it doesn’t really matter. I love my sisters, and no bizarre hierarchy of maids in my wedding can deny that. But I still feel guilty.
Sisters on vacation
I am really excited to have her in my wedding party. She is gorgeous and a lot of fun, so I’m hoping she will enjoy being a bridesmaid and not hold it against me for the rest of my life. (I mean, with any luck, she’ll make me her MOH someday, proving that I’m the best sister EVER!) I just love both my sisters and hope that they know it. And if things don’t work out between Mr. Cannon and me, maybe she can be MOH next time. (Kidding!)
Me, the sisters, and Ma
Did you have any guilt associated with your bridesmaid choices?
All images personal unless otherwise noted
I totally hear you on the guilt part. My guilt stems from the fact that I’m not having a MOH. But I don’t have a sister and I didn’t want to pick favorites among my friends! Even if that did mean having to “disappoint” a friend who thought she was in the forefront for being my MOH.
You’re very lucky to be so close to your sisters! And, my sister (who was my MOH) totally equated the abbreviation BM to bowel movement as well when she first started reading my blog. I just about died when she called to clarify.
For my posse, I had a Maid of Honor (sister), 2 Matrons of Honor, and 2 Bridesmaids of Honor. Everyone was “of Honor” because they were all super important to me. There’s nothing that says you can’t have 2.
@jmbrick: I’m not having a MOH either! I have one sister, but she is 9 years younger, and we have a similar relationship to what Miss Cannon described. Unfortunately she’s starting her freshman year of college this fall at a school about 3 hours away; it’s just too much to ask her to give up her time for traditional MOH duties. So FH and I decided not to have any kind of hierarcy in our wedding parties. I feel crazy guilty, because she’s my SISTER, but I know this is going to be what will work best.
I have 3 sisters, so choosing one as my MOH definitely made me feel a little guilty. But I’m going out of my way to make all of them feel extra special, and to have them know that “MOH” is just the last one to walk down the aisle before me 
I don’t have any sisters or female cousins, so my BMs (I still use that word even though I equate it with a bowel movement) are my 4 best girls. There was/is a lot of guilt associated with picking only one to be my MOH. I still think of them all as MOHs even though only one has ‘the title’. I didn’t expect these things to be so hard.
Oh, guilt. I have a friend I’ve known since we were 14 who I was always sure would be a bridesmaid. Fast forward to the year before we get engaged: we aren’t speaking to each other. I asked her anyway, she didn’t reply for months, and finally I told her I was giving up on her… At which point she says she wants to come and bring a plus one (when we are trying to keep it as small as possible). I’m still harboring both guilt and anger.
I can definitely relate! We have a big wedding party (9 girls, 10 guys). The bummer is the fact that I have a HUGE family (7 brothers and sisters), I am one of his sister’s best friends, and he is super close to 2 of my brothers. My FH and I decided that the only siblings we would have in the family would be my twin sister (MOH) and his twin brother (best man) and the rest would be friends. Needless to say, his sister was pretty hurt that she wasn’t asked to be in the wedding. We wanted them to still be included though so his sister and one of my brothers will be doing the ceremony readings and my other brothers will be escorting our mothers and grandmothers down the aisle. We can’t make everyone happy but we can sure try!
Bombshell could technically have Pistol as a Maid of Honor for her wedding. My cousin did something like that. She had her older married sister as her Matron of Honor, and one of her girl friends as her Maid on Honor. Just a suggestion so you can stop feeling so guilty all the time.
@mariewest: I actually think she is planning on having a maid of honor outside of me as matron of honor, but I think it’s one of her friends and not Pistol.
And there’s probably nothing that will make me stop feeling guilty all the time. It’s an unfortunate constant in my life. But thanks for trying to help!
Perhaps they could both be your Maids of Honor?
I chose someone who has always been like a sister to me instead of my real sister for my MOH. I left my sister out of the wedding party entirely.
As others have said, you can def have to MOH’s! I’ve seen more than one person do that before. I, on the other hand, am going to have to uninvite one of my friends being a bridesmaid (lol to the bowel movement comment). i definitely rushed into that decision (way to go me for being so excited the moment i got engaged), but she also made a pointof telling me “i better be one of your bridesmaids.” now she’s in medical school on an island with a very weird schedule (she may not even be able to make it to my wedding!) and the bridesmaid dresses i had picked out are apparently going to be discontinued soon. hopefully not before i find another bridesmaid. another exciting part - how do you ask someone without making them feel like they were plan b?! GrR me.
LOL!! I just wanted to say that I COMPLETELY agree with you on the BM thing … and for the same reason. Oh Mr Rogers, how you’ve engrained so many things in my brain ;o)
I have to agree with @Miss Snow Cone. I went to text my MOH about my “BM” and all I kept seeing was bowel movement.
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Mrs. Cannon, Toledo, OH Age and Occupation: 27, Financial Analyst Fiance's Age and Occupation: 28, Assembler Engagement Date: February 28, 2011 Wedding Date: September 2011 Venue: Epworth UMC & Ward Pavilion About Me: I'm the curious combination of being a go-with-the-flow, laid back, obsessive planner. I try desperately to stay as busy as possible at all times (and am succeeding big time right now!) My biggest loves in life are Law & Order: SVU, Community (the show, not the concept, although I like that, too), ice cream, white cheddar popcorn, beer, hiking, knitting, decorating, writing, being outside, spending time with friends and family and musical theater. Mr. Cannon is pretty sweet, too. We've had a lot of fun traveling and having adventures all over the country, but have finally moved back near our hometown to settle down. We're planning a low-key, colorful, fun wedding and an awesome-to-the-max reception.
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