Where Have All the Weekends Gone?

Where Have All the Weekends Gone?

June 22nd, 2011 @ 4:02 pm by Mrs. Marmalade
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“Stay busy.”

That is the most common piece of advice I was given after Mr. Marmalade deployed. “Keep yourself busy, don’t sit around, time will fly.” You know what? That is absolutely true. But I didn’t need to try very hard!

If our lives develop in phases, I would say that I am living through the marriage phase right now, as it seems that all of our friends are getting married. And oddly, it seems that everything is happening at the same time this year.

Image via Flickr / Photo by MoodyMal

Let’s look at this past September:

The first weekend was BM Cuz’s bridal shower, which I helped organize. The second weekend was saved for a dress-shopping extravaganza (more like dress fail, but I digress). The third weekend, I headed up to Maine for a friend’s wedding. And the last weekend, I scheduled some more time for dress shopping. Did you get that? One month of my life, committed to weddings. (Weekdays are a total wash for me since I work pretty long hours.)

While that was going on over the weekends, I made it a point to work on things for myself, things I enjoyed. Like writing, for example. And reading—I’d been trying to head to the library for what felt like months. And friends? Well, I made it a point to call at least one friend a night so I wouldn’t let myself become isolated. Of course, none of this was easy with work. By the time I got home I was amazed at how tired I was; sometimes I was too tired to put together a complete sentence, let alone cook up a meal.

Image via Amazon / Book and cover art by Roger Hargreaves

Even now as time is winding down (and Mr. M is home safe and sound!), I struggle to write this. I can just feel my eyelids growing heavy. If I could just convince someone to squeeze a couple more hours into the day…

I’ll miss this time in my life one day, so I’m not complaining. My friends are getting married! I’m getting married, too. This is a time to celebrate!

And yet, being busy all the time began to wear on me. Especially when I found myself too busy to talk to Mr. M. I was so good at staying busy that we went long, long stretches of time without a chat (via phone or Skype). Our communication was confined to short emails and handwritten letters. (Does anyone else love snail mail as much as I do?) And that hurt. I desperately wanted to hear his voice. I wanted to laugh with him and fill him in on my life. I wanted to tell him about this busy time. I wanted to fill him in on our plans, and my friends’ plans, and everything else wedding related in my life. And there was the rub—there came a point in this whirlwind of weddings where I started to miss him more, no matter how busy I became. He’s my partner in crime; he’s part of me. I will never be busy enough to forget that.

Ah well. Looking back on it now with some perspective, I can say time flew by. Our email communications did the trick, and I’m happy we had that much. I’m thrilled to have been busy with so many wonderful things to do. I was honored to be there for my friends as they planned their weddings, and I’m excited to plan ours.

Long-distance folks: what have you done to make your separation easier? And, has anyone else felt like their life is just filled to the brim with weddings lately?

Tags: raleigh, wedding-planner |

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15 Responses to “Where Have All the Weekends Gone?”

Member

crisss99 (message) 18 posts, Newbee

I have 9 weddings to attend this year - and I’m in 4 as a bridesmaid! And we’ve ’saved the date’ for 3 next year, already. We’ve actually put ours off until late 2012 just because we couldn’t find a weekend that wasn’t too close to someone else’s! That said, it’s been a TON of fun - exhausting for sure - but fun!

6/22/11 @ 4:26 pm (reply)

Member

KCheer (message) 370 posts, Helper bee

YES! It is definitley the wedding phase of life for us right now, and I thought our wedding was on the tail-end of it (I got married in 2010). Anyway, better hold on to any precious time we have, cause I hear the baby phase is next! More weekends devoted to showers!

6/22/11 @ 4:50 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Trail Mix (message) 6,328 posts, Bee Keeper

Mr TM and I were long distance Miami to New York for two years and it was sooo hard, I can’t imagine what going through a deployment would be like! Hopefully he’s back home now!

6/22/11 @ 5:03 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,174 posts, Honey bee

We’ve obviously been doing the long distance thing for only a short time now, but I have a very very small glimpse into how hard it is for LD couples (although I still can’t imagine what it would be like to have your other deployed, you are a strong woman, M). I can’t believe how busy things are, but it doesn’t make me miss Mr. P any less.

6/22/11 @ 5:26 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Elephant (message) 6,182 posts, Bee Keeper

We had a big wedding phase a couple years back… now it’s baby phase. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to Babies R Us this year.

6/22/11 @ 5:28 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Pain au Chocolat (message) 1,698 posts, Bumble bee

The past few years have been full of weddings and engagements for our group of friends. When you add in planning our own wedding and all the fun stuff you don’t want to stop doing, it’s any wonder there is time for sleep!

6/22/11 @ 5:52 pm (reply)

Member

Ree723 (message) 1,569 posts, Bumble bee

Ugh, long distance is the worst! I thought I had it bad with Chicago - Australia, but at least I don’t have to worry about my FI being in a dangerous place. Thinking of you Marmalade and hoping the time until he returns goes very quickly for you!

6/22/11 @ 6:15 pm (reply)

Member

thefuturemrs.o (message) 216 posts, Helper bee

You have no idea how much I relate to you! It’s so nice to know (and to hear) that I’m not the only one planning a wedding while my other half is deployed. So thank you…. I’m not lying when I say this post made me teary.

6/22/11 @ 6:58 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

I have so much respect for the couples who maintain long distance relationships. And, I miss snail mail, too!

6/22/11 @ 10:06 pm (reply)

10.

Guest

Krystal

My guy just returned from a year deployment. He gave me the exact same advice when he left last year… keep busy. So I did, with wedding plans, work, teaching lessons, and going to grad school. Boy did the time fly!! We are still doing the long distance thing for just a little longer. After all, we’ve been long distance for our entire relationship of 3 years (Pennsylvania to Georgia). I pray that the time flies by and that your guy stays safe out there. I know exactly what you are going through b/c I was there not too long ago. Stay strong and enjoy your planning!

6/22/11 @ 10:57 pm (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Funnel Cake (message) 690 posts, Busy bee

Hm, I try to meet up with friends more often. But when Mr. FC is abroad for work we usually try to figure out the timezones and try and talk. So there is a lot of time wasted checking if skype or msn is working so we can get 15 minutes of chat into two hours. It would be better if we’d both just do our own thing, but I always want to hear from him and share things with him…

And when he’s in the army sometimes he can call me for a couple minutes, but mostly I just do the internet and tv alone. I’m a hermit.

6/23/11 @ 1:45 am (reply)

12.

Member

weddingstars2012 (message) 430 posts, Helper bee

OMG to that calendar of yours!!! But i completely understand about being crazy busy! i’m always a pro at that. and i guess it won’t get easier once i start medical school in august and continue on with the wedding planning. but i keep taking everybody’s words of wisdom and doing my best on enjoying this crazy busy time of my life! because once it’s done, there’s no going back!

6/23/11 @ 10:55 am (reply)

13.

Bee

Miss Snow Cone (message) 1,026 posts, Bumble bee

We were long-distance for four years, and I was most definitely not sad to see that chapter come to an end. Even though we’re short-distance now, I STILL feel like I have some wedding craziness in my life, for sure!

6/23/11 @ 5:27 pm (reply)

14.

Member

MissToad (message) 8 posts, Newbee

Hooray for staying busy! The FI and I only lived in the same city for the first 10 days we were dating, did Panama/Florida for a month, then Texas/Florida for 3 months before he finally found a job in Austin. Now we’re still 6 hours apart (I’m in grad school), but he calls me every night at 10:00pm, and I think it makes it more bearable, because we still get in that “how was your day?” talk right before we go to bed.

I’m glad for you that the long distance time has come to an end…. I’m hoping mine comes soon!

6/26/11 @ 10:17 pm (reply)

15.

Guest

Teddy Suders

I do have to disagree with your blog, I don’t believe all the statements are researched correctly. I did have fun reading it, look forward to more!

9/6/11 @ 4:22 am (reply)