Winning a Battle, Losing the War: Part I

Winning a Battle, Losing the War: Part I

June 27th, 2011 @ 5:58 pm by Mrs. Cucumber Sandwich
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I always thought the theme of a wedding was “wedding”! At least that is what I wanted for my wedding theme. Now, after being completely absorbed into the bridal blogosphere, I realize how naive I was/am.

Image via GadgetHer

Even Mama CS is hammering it home that we need a theme. Our most recent conversation went a little like this:

Mama CS: So I saw the cutest idea at another wedding. You should have sand dollars or starfish attached to your escort cards!

Me: (reverting to my typical teenage response) Meh.

Mama CS: What?!! I thought that was cute.

Me: I don’t really want any beachy stuff like shells.

Mama CS: Well then why are you getting married at the beach?

Interesting question! Before I talk about our wedding theme, I should probably fill you in on how we picked our wedding location, since it is not where we or our families live. We chose our wedding location by compromising. (We are so going to make it as a married couple!)

Mr. Cucumber Sandwich wanted to get married on a distant tropical island on the beach. But I felt guilty making people travel that far just to see us get married. Perhaps I would have felt differently if I weren’t the oldest of my family and one of the oldest of my cousins. It will be the first wedding on Mama CS’s side of the family, and I want to make sure everyone can attend. I knew Mr. CS wanted to get married by the beach (Why? I have no idea—you will have to ask him.), so I suggested Cape May, New Jersey.

Cape May is where my family always went to the shore. Growing up outside Philadelphia, everyone went “down the shore” over the summer, and the CS family is no exception. Forget what you have seen on MTV, though; Cape May is nothing like the rest of the Jersey Shore. Take a look:

The Jersey Shore / Image via MTV

Cape May / Image via New York Daily News

Jersey Shore Boardwalk / Image via The Monaco Motel

Cape May Boardwalk / Image via JFAlthouse.com

After a couple of visits to my childhood summer-vacation spot, Mr. CS decided with my gentle guidance that it would be the perfect spot for our wedding. Yay for us! We have a wedding location. Choosing the venue is a whole new battle….I mean, delightful way for us to work as a team. Don’t even get me started on a theme.

So what does this long ass story have to do with our wedding theme or lack thereof? You will just have to stay tuned to find out.

Has anyone else had a stereotype of their wedding location they had to overcome? Or did you just give in and GTL (gym, tan, laundry)?

Tags: cape-may, Venues |

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22 Responses to “Winning a Battle, Losing the War: Part I”

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Bee

Mrs. Lox (message) 1,128 posts, Bumble bee

I have nothing useful to contribute to the wedding conversation. But I did want to tell you that I grew up spending my summers in OCNJ! I used to run amusement rides on the boardwalk and everything. I’m so cool.

6/27/11 @ 6:07 pm (reply)

Member

Ms.Shamrock (message) 481 posts, Helper bee

I can’t wait to see how it turns out!! My FSIL is getting married there in December. I don’t know if she had this convo with my FMIL, but Congress Hall is their special place.
I’m so excited to follow a bee close to me!!!

6/27/11 @ 6:25 pm (reply)

Guest

Mary

I am a BIG fan of Cape May. My family and I have been there 4 times when I was younger (I think we stayed at the Periwinkle Inn) So many beautiful B&B’s!

6/27/11 @ 7:12 pm (reply)

Bee

Mrs. Tartlet (message) 3,207 posts, Sugar bee

This is going to show how terrible I am at pop culture, but I have never seen Jersey Shore and always wondered what GTL meant. :$ I think Cape May is beautiful!

6/27/11 @ 7:54 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Pony (message) 4,171 posts, Honey bee

What a beautiful place! Can’t wait to hear all about your theme!

6/27/11 @ 8:37 pm (reply)

Member

Ladydazl (message) 120 posts, Blushing bee

Looks like a lovely spot for your wedding! I am also having a beach wedding but trying not to have a “beach theme” with shells and fish and the like. Instead I am going with elements like jam jars, driftwood and soft colours so that it looks a bit more rustic, romantic and vintage-y rather than bright and tropical.

6/27/11 @ 8:55 pm (reply)

Bee

Miss Cucumber Sandwich (message) 569 posts, Busy bee

@Mrs. Lox: you ARE so cool! All my friends went to OCNJ and I had to go to Cape May. I would have been totally jealous of you!

6/27/11 @ 9:28 pm (reply)

Member

Meegs23 (message) 21 posts, Newbee

We are getting married in Cape May too! Congress Hall next May, and I can’t wait! We picked Cape May much the same way, I wanted a destination wedding on a tropical island and my FI, who grew up on the Jersey shore, didn’t want to alienate anyone so Cape May was picked as our mini destination. No fist pumping, laid back, lots of history, and just beautiful. Plus it’s far enough away that the NYC and NJ people are staying the night, but close enough that only my MI family and friends have to fly in….

6/27/11 @ 10:34 pm (reply)

Member

starab (message) 7 posts, Newbee

–Something unexpected surprise–

Hello. My friend

=== {{w w w }} {{be tter whole saler }} {{ u s }} ====

Dedi cated service, the new style, believing you will love it!!!

WE ACCEPT PYA PAL PAY MENT

YOU MUST NOT MISS IT!!!

thank you!!!

6/27/11 @ 11:12 pm (reply)

10.

Member

eehkay (message) 80 posts, Worker bee

hehe i would totally consider doing a hello kitty-themed wedding for my vow renewals down the line…

6/28/11 @ 12:13 am (reply)

11.

Bee

Miss Seal (message) 1,179 posts, Bumble bee

Oooooh Cape May looks pretty! Can’t wait to see more/hear more about it

6/28/11 @ 1:57 am (reply)

12.

Guest

Miss LoveyCakes

Miss Tartlet–I didn’t even know that WAS a saying, that’s how out of the loop I am!

But, YES! CS, I know what it’s like to succumb to stereotyped themes–or just themes at all!

Honestly, gathering decoration ideas is one of my FAVORITE parts of preparing for a wedding, but I’ve helped several lady friends on their wedding day in the past that were NOT so into such frivolous things, and often, they would just pass the reigns to someone else–someone with big wedding “theme ideas”–to do the dirty work for them.

Sometimes these people were hired professionals, sometimes creative friends, or well-meaning siblings, or sometimes their mother or FMIL. The end results have ranged from fabulous to sterile to overly cheesy and everywhere in between.

Sometimes the helpers just “get” the couple and create an event that totally fits their personalities. Sometimes the helper comes up with a “theme” that than appears on everything from matchbooks to floor decals to bathroom mints to signature drink names–all to create “consistency” throughout the wedding. Other times, the reception felt like a blank canvas… one still covered in plastic packaging waiting to be unwrapped!

I guess my point is that some people strive for uniqueness, some for fitting in, and some just give up all together.

It can be hard to maintain what you want for your wedding day. Themes take over–hey, it happens. But just try to make sure your voice is what resonates on your special day and NOT someone else trying to live out their fantasy wedding vicariously through you and your husband.

@Mrs. Tartlet: @Mrs. Tartlet: @Mrs. Tartlet: @Mrs. Tartlet:

6/28/11 @ 4:33 am (reply)

13.

Member

CassieValentine (message) 20 posts, Newbee

Cape May is gorgeous. Most definitely the opposite of Seaside! I’m sure your wedding will be absolutely beautiful.

6/28/11 @ 4:39 am (reply)

14.

Member

wlnh420 (message) 2 posts, Wannabee

so beautiful! i wish i wear a beautiful dress like you.

I’m a fat woman,wear cheap plus size wedding dresses to

6/28/11 @ 4:52 am (reply)

15.

Member

mrsbowieii (message) 692 posts, Busy bee

The pictures of Cape May looks wonderful and now I am so jealous that you are getting married there… So going to live through you to get the experience.

6/28/11 @ 8:07 am (reply)

16.

Member

totheislnds (message) 5,361 posts, Bee Keeper

@Mrs. Lox: I grew up going ton OCNJ too! oh how i miss it! my grandmother had a beach house there and we would go every summer, she passed in 2007 and they ended up selling her house Now that i live in NC its a super long drive but i want my (future) kids to be able to go and enjoy it like i did growing up!

Miss CS! what a great idea, the jersey shore - that would be an awesome DW local so much for your guests to do! great choice.

6/28/11 @ 9:50 am (reply)

17.

Member

eeper (message) 485 posts, Helper bee

Just being from NJ I spend a lot of time trying to convince people that it’s really a beautiful state, once you get off the turnpike! Cape May is gorgeous, I loved visiting there with my family as a kid! Very few GTL-ers there

6/28/11 @ 11:14 am (reply)

18.

Member

weddingstars2012 (message) 430 posts, Helper bee

Haha I LOVE the comparison pictures with the Jersey Shore. But they’re at Seaside, aren’t they? Cape May is very pretty! Aren’t you afraid it’s going to be cold in October?

6/28/11 @ 2:59 pm (reply)

19.

Bee

Miss Cucumber Sandwich (message) 569 posts, Busy bee

@Meegs23: Isn’t Congress Hall the best?! I get so excited when I see other people who are getting married there.@weddingstars2012: It might be a little cold but that is a risk I am willing to take!

6/28/11 @ 8:04 pm (reply)

20.

Member

LoriLori (message) 727 posts, Busy bee

Love, love, LOVE CM! We got engaged at the Fairthorne and considered CM seriously for our wedding last year but ended up in LBI b/c it was closer for our guests and LBI was my first love! We got married on the beach and went predictable with our decor. Everything about me screams beachy so the wedding did too! lol
Can’t wait to hear more about your nuptials.

6/28/11 @ 8:06 pm (reply)

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